Forgetting about ex/finding new one

[Michael2121234234]

I am still thinking about my ex ten month after the breakup. I didn t see her since then because we broke up when I went abroad for a year. Going abroad was not the reason for breaking up. I always told her I would prefer staying with her and she wanted to return to the UK. She says she has the feeling, that we wouldn t be happy together and that we had different goals in life - I disagree to both and she oesn t explain herself. We never argued - only about why breaking up. We had a really close relationship. The last 5 month we were virtually living together. She stayed with me and my family over the weekends and on weekdays I stayed at her place. Originally she wanted to return home, but now she is working in the same research institute where I worked part time and where I would like to do a phd, where I helped her to get in. I feel used by her for coming back and working there now, because she always said she would return home. I was never introduced to her family, except for her sister. She is from indian origin and not allowed to have a boyfrined, especially not a non indian one. Now she is with an italian I think. Indians are worldwide the "race" with the least amount of interracial mariages. Her family is kind of split because the parents come from two different casts and a part of the family does not really acknoledge their maarriage.

I don't know how to move on - I always wished to have a girl capable of what I am doing. It s my dream to find a girl and to do research together, which we both liked - but there is just so few in the field of engineering. I also like languages, we both speak 4 languages pretty fluent. Compared to her all girls seem to be stupid and annoying. She thinks rational, is not into shopping, she wants to understand how the world works -most other girls are kind of ignorant, only use things but don't care about how they work. I also have the impression that most girls tend to follow trends instead of thinking on their own. Most girls watch annoying series, which depict a distorted reality and then talk about this with her friends. With my ex I could have conversations on the same intellectual level as I can have with collegues. She is interested about what is going on in the world, she can talk about science, society, economy and politics. I have the impression that most girls can only do small talk - which I am not really a fan of. I do not care that much about looks, but I sometimes think that for some girls that s all they have to score with.

I just don't know how to find a girl with similar goals, education, expectations, interests, income. Just a girl with who I could do and achieve the same things as with my ex. I see I am pretty much looking for a female myself. And I also see that a lot more guys then girls fullfill the criteria I want to have in a new partner. I really like science, I like to advance and improve things. And I'd like my girl to share these goals/visions. Other people often don t see why I want to have a girl like that; why I want to have a girls on the same intellectual/knowledge/interest/salary level.

I do not need a pretty looking girl who cooks at home and looks pretty so other guys get jealous. That s just primitive.

I had two other girls since then but I never felt much for them.

I also don t know whether it is a good idea to go back to the research center where I intended to work later since three yers. It just has a lot of advantages compared to other possibilities.

[Reels]

She is not fulfilling her own family's wishes, fulfilling any of your wish is far.

 

She ever felt or said that you are the best? She ever said that she loves you?

[moonlightpath]

When I was 18 I met this Indian guy. I fell for him instantly. We dated on and off for about a year and a half. Since we were (and still are) both pretty young of course we still listened to our parents. (Well, mostly him.) Spending time with him was so difficult. We had to hide our relationship from everyone. He was always so paranoid about someone who knew him and his family seeing him with me. It got old after a while. I ended things a few months before I moved to a new city for college.

 

It has been a little over 3yrs since I met him. I'm 21 now and he's 23. I do miss him a lot. Maybe even still love him. Once in a while we text. But then I think about it and look back. It makes me realize that our relationship would never go anywhere. He would probably rather hang himself than introduce me (a non Indian girl) to his family. Sometimes when I really sit down and think about it I realize that it kills me inside to know that we could never be together because he is too caught up in his culture and traditions and too afraid to go against what his family considers acceptable.

 

I know its not completely your ex's fault, but do you really want to be with someone who doesn't have the guts to stand up to their family for you?

[Michael2121234234]

Her dad had a stroke shortly before we got to know each other, so she always said that he would need some more time to regenerate first. But maybe at some point this just became an easy excuse.

 

The thing which hurts most is that she got a great job at the place where I helped her in and where I also intend to go later. This just makes me feel used. She said she would go back home.

 

I know her family situation would cause difficulties. But on the other hand I think for her it is a good way to integrate in a society which in my eyes is preferable to the indian one especially for women. Here she is treated equally.

For me it would mean to have a girl who is similar to me, who has qualities I rarely find in other girls. That's the second reason for me to still think about her a lot. I always wanted someone like her, and I am not sure to find somebody like her again.