bakerjd1993 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Hi guys I just came out of a 5 year relationship in January where she promised me the world, and kids, and a future. Me being 22, I feel I've always wanted to be a dad young, and so, I really could see a future with her, kids too. But now, in between then, I've been with a few girls, and most of them have promised me stuff, like 'I've only been together with you for a month, but I see a future with you' and that gets me HAPPY. Like it gives me HOPE. But then, she just switches off one day and says she wants something else? This is becoming a thing now, but maybe it's because when I do get a girl, when I'm with her, I put too much potential in her? I believe in it way too soon? I don't know, I'm just so tired of MOVING ON to the next BEST THING. I just want to settle down now, ive been played too much! What gave you strength/gives you strength in situations like these? Josh Link to post Share on other sites
RoseHeart Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 (edited) I personally as a rule avoid seeing anything promising with someone till they actually make a commitment to me as in enter a relationship with me. I myself have had to deal with empty promises for too long so I avoid that but just not completely trusting a situation with a guy (for you a girl) till it becomes more official. So even if a guy says he sees a future with me like they all do I still take it with a grain of salt and don't really believe it. I just think "okay we'll see" and then I let it go. So the trick is to basically convince yourself that there's a great chance that what they say might not be true and to live with this conviction till action proves that they were right about it. You know the saying "actions speak louder than words" ? Well this apply to these kind of situations. So don't believe too soon. Don't trust too soon. Also don't give your everything to someone who hasn't shown you they are willing to the same in return. Oh and just a side note.. I'm 21 but most people my age don't really want to settle down yet and have kids or get married so if you are dating in our age range just remember that most people likely do not have those desires at this time. Your best bet will be to date women older than you then. I'd just imagine they'd be more keen to settle down. I don't see myself getting married and having kids till my late 20's. Edited May 28, 2015 by RoseHeart 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 What RoseHeart said. I would add to that you have to consider that many young women have a need to "see a future with" everyone they want to hook up with in order to keep the self image of a "good girl". It is something the women tell themselves for their benefit. "I see a future with him so it is ok to have sex with him within two months." At your age you really should not think of marriage. In fact while people in your 18-25 age range are adults you are still growing through a final and very important part of adolescence. The neocortex of your brain needs to finish growing. The pre-frontal cortex where mature judgments are made does not fully grow in until 25. If you meet a woman who is your age and also in that frame of mind, and who proves it by two to three years of SOLID stable relationship time then start to think marriage. Once you are over 25 don't waste your time with any woman who's not marriage minded if you are a marriage minded man. TL;DR: Don't even think of marriage as a goal of your new relationships until you are over 25. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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