Jonp219 Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 (edited) I woke up frustrated today (partly due to daylight savings), but mostly because my ex is all in my head. I don't get it man, I was doing just fine yesterday, now today I'm overwhelmed and sensing bad vibes in the air while I'm here stuck at work. Just alot of guilt, shame, fear, anxiety, anger, and hopefulness all at the same time. I'm tempted to look at her Twitter, but I already promised to myself that I'm going to stop snooping (haven't done it in 2 days). Although I'm curious, I just don't want to hurt myself more than i already have today. This sucks Another thing is I have a different way of coping with being alone. When I'm in a space all by myself I tend to walk around and have conversations with myself about anything (yes, I'm crazy). I normally play scenarios of me having a conversations with my ex, or just talk about things that matter to me. I can't stop doing it, it's a big distraction. but it's only way I can deal. Edited March 8, 2015 by Jonp219 Link to post Share on other sites
Light Breeze Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Rollercoaster emotions is normal when the heartbreak is fresh, just ride it out and it gets better. We all deal with loss our own way, if it helps talking to yourself, then do so. But, I suggest you trying doing mental NC, it's really difficult but it can be done. Also, workout or do some sports because the resulting exhaustion will help you relax. Stay strong, brother. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 Rollercoaster emotions is normal when the heartbreak is fresh, just ride it out and it gets better. We all deal with loss our own way, if it helps talking to yourself, then do so. But, I suggest you trying doing mental NC, it's really difficult but it can be done. Also, workout or do some sports because the resulting exhaustion will help you relax. Stay strong, brother. I hate this feeling man. Everyday I'm walking into the unknown. I don't know if I'm going to hear from my ex sometime soon or if I'm just going to break down and cry. I feel like i'm in denial still and it scares me when I realize that she's really gone for good. I can't even concentrate on school or anything else. All I do is talk to myself or post on here. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Acceptance is a gradual process. It's natural to go through a period of denial. Be patient with yourself. If it's hard to control your emotions right now, concentrate on the physical -- work out, take long walks, give yourself physically tiring chores and projects. Link to post Share on other sites
Light Breeze Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I hate this feeling man. Everyday I'm walking into the unknown. I don't know if I'm going to hear from my ex sometime soon or if I'm just going to break down and cry. I feel like i'm in denial still and it scares me when I realize that she's really gone for good. I can't even concentrate on school or anything else. All I do is talk to myself or post on here. I've been in that phase and the feeling is really indescribable, I know. But, trust me brother, that feeling will pass. You're in a crisis mode right now so it's normal to feel that way. And, yes you're still in denial, but that will also pass, when it does, you'll go numb (at least it happened to me) and that will signal the start of your recovery (in my opinion). Feel the pain and emotions but be careful not to wallow in it. Just ride it out and post here, when my breakup was fresh, I was here all the time and it helped, still does. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 (edited) I don't even know if reconciliation should even be an option for me anymore, this just hurts so ****ing bad right now. Why was I so inconsistent? Why did I keep my shield up (she was harmless)? Why didn't I take care of this sooner? I feel like my best friend is gone forever because of my wrong doings. I pushed her away, and now I'm left with the memories we shared and it's tearing me up to bits. I'm going to get better, I will continue to strive in therapy, but I don't even know why I'm doing it anymore :'( Edited March 8, 2015 by Jonp219 Link to post Share on other sites
Light Breeze Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 I don't even know if reconciliation should even be an option for me anymore, this just hurts so ****ing bad right now. Why was I so inconsistent? Why did I keep my shield up (she was harmless)? Why didn't I take care of this sooner? I feel like my best friend is gone forever because of my wrong doings. I pushed her away, and now I'm left with the memories we shared and it's tearing me up to bits. I'm going to get better, I will continue to strive in therapy, but I don't even know why I'm doing it anymore :'( We all make mistakes and we should learn from it. If it's too late, then let it be. If it's meant to be, it will be. We can't undo our past but we can certainly choose our future. You should realize that improving yourself and getting better is done for yourself, first and foremost. It's you who's going to live with you for the rest of your lives. So do it for you and not for anyone else. Then heal and focus on becoming abetter person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HBK3317 Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 (edited) First off I would like to tell you to STOP imagining that she's with you and you guys are talking and also stop all those scenarios where you would do that and she might do this. They don't do much good because in the end it doesn't matter how you play it in your head, the reality is something else which CAN NOT be changed. Trust me it will be even harder to let go, unless you want to become a mental lunatic! And talking to yourself is not crazy... We all do it admit it or not... That person inside is the one who should be out there because he makes so much sense! Damn! No seriously dude I myself have thought about imagining being with her but I realised it won't do any good because she is gone, for real and nothing changes that fact (Wishing for time travel right about now! And yup that also never helps...) Just calm down, okay? Easier said than down I know... All those questions in your head 'Why this and why that' well there are no real answers for them because the more you think about it everytime you will end up with a different conclusion... And trust me no matter what you did or would have done you would have ended on here writing what you wrote because what happened had to happen... That's how life works I guess... And that feeling where you feel nothing is worth living anymore... Well that's the one that we need to fight and get rid off because it will kill your soul little by little till there's nothing left... Have trouble getting up in the mornings? Going to sleep at night? Yeah... That's what it does... It screws us... Well I can't tell you a lot because I myself am in the biggest rut of my life and trying to solve things one small step at a time... But here are something's that might help... Is there something you like a lot? No not her and definitely not music, well not now at least, doesn't help... Every word feels like it's related to us in some weird twisted way no matter the gènre of the song! Something else? Like eating, videogames, any sport, TV, Driving, riding, gyming? There must be something... Yeah? Do that. At least TRY to do that even if you don't feel like ... Trust me, in a few days, your will start getting distracted from her thoughts, even if it's only for a little while... Works for me. I like an animè Dragon Ball Z and WWE a lot so I spend my time reading DBZ Comics and Watching WWE along with LoveShacking... (And God knows every night I go to sleep thinking I will excersise from tomorrow but it never happens! I shall start soon enough though, am really gaining weight! Maybe from tomorrow...!) The point being you need to get out of this for no one else's but your own sake... I am being a big mother****ing Hypocrite because I myself am just trying to come to terms with this but I know this is the only truth, the bottom line so to say... Oh and The excessive thinking about her ... The random thoughts that cross your mind when you least expect it and make camp in your head for hours...or truth be told the thoughts which never actually left...! Ah the humanity! Here's what to do and trust me it DOES help, no kidding: Take an elastic band/Rubberband, a tight one at that, and put it on your wrist. Every time you think of her just snap it hard! Believe me it works wonders, tried and tested! And have you blocked her yet? Deleted her photos and numbers and all contact info from everywhere? No? Do it NOW! No point in keeping them. Just press delete yeah... And last thing, Keep posting in LoveShack as much and whenever you want its a real good way to vent out and let off all the steam. Plus the people here will always help you... It keeps you going one day at a time. I for one Wish I had found it earlier ! Well sorry for such a long reply I hope I was of help. See this is how LoveShacking helps I feel a lot better trying to help someone going through a similar situation(). Keep posting and know that You are NOT ALONE. We all ride in the same ****ed up Boat! Edited March 8, 2015 by HBK3317 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted March 8, 2015 Author Share Posted March 8, 2015 First off I would like to tell you to STOP imagining that she's with you and you guys are talking and also stop all those scenarios where you would do that and she might do this. They don't do much good because in the end it doesn't matter how you play it in your head, the reality is something else which CAN NOT be changed. Trust me it will be even harder to let go, unless you want to become a mental lunatic! And talking to yourself is not crazy... We all do it admit it or not... That person inside is the one who should be out there because he makes so much sense! Damn! No seriously dude I myself have thought about imagining being with her but I realised it won't do any good because she is gone, for real and nothing changes that fact (Wishing for time travel right about now! And yup that also never helps...) Just calm down, okay? Easier said than down I know... All those questions in your head 'Why this and why that' well there are no real answers for them because the more you think about it everytime you will end up with a different conclusion... And trust me no matter what you did or would have done you would have ended on here writing what you wrote because what happened had to happen... That's how life works I guess... And that feeling where you feel nothing is worth living anymore... Well that's the one that we need to fight and get rid off because it will kill your soul little by little till there's nothing left... Have trouble getting up in the mornings? Going to sleep at night? Yeah... That's what it does... It screws us... Well I can't tell you a lot because I myself am in the biggest rut of my life and trying to solve things one small step at a time... But here are something's that might help... Is there something you like a lot? No not her and definitely not music, well not now at least, doesn't help... Every word feels like it's related to us in some weird twisted way no matter the gènre of the song! Something else? Like eating, videogames, any sport, TV, Driving, riding, gyming? There must be something... Yeah? Do that. At least TRY to do that even if you don't feel like ... Trust me, in a few days, your will start getting distracted from her thoughts, even if it's only for a little while... Works for me. I like an animè Dragon Ball Z and WWE a lot so I spend my time reading DBZ Comics and Watching WWE along with LoveShacking... (And God knows every night I go to sleep thinking I will excersise from tomorrow but it never happens! I shall start soon enough though, am really gaining weight! Maybe from tomorrow...!) The point being you need to get out of this for no one else's but your own sake... I am being a big mother****ing Hypocrite because I myself am just trying to come to terms with this but I know this is the only truth, the bottom line so to say... Oh and The excessive thinking about her ... The random thoughts that cross your mind when you least expect it and make camp in your head for hours...or truth be told the thoughts which never actually left...! Ah the humanity! Here's what to do and trust me it DOES help, no kidding: Take an elastic band/Rubberband, a tight one at that, and put it on your wrist. Every time you think of her just snap it hard! Believe me it works wonders, tried and tested! And have you blocked her yet? Deleted her photos and numbers and all contact info from everywhere? No? Do it NOW! No point in keeping them. Just press delete yeah... And last thing, Keep posting in LoveShack as much and whenever you want its a real good way to vent out and let off all the steam. Plus the people here will always help you... It keeps you going one day at a time. I for one Wish I had found it earlier ! Well sorry for such a long reply I hope I was of help. See this is how LoveShacking helps I feel a lot better trying to help someone going through a similar situation(). Keep posting and know that You are NOT ALONE. We all ride in the same ****ed up Boat! Hey KBK thanks for the lengthy comment. Sometimes I can't help but to think about it. You're right, my thoughts aren't accurate with reality at the moment. It in a strange way it brings me comfort (Idk why). My therapist said it's fine, it's just my way of coping with the situation. You're right! The guy inside is far more rational then myself, but it is myself so...idk humans are weird. My break up was tough because it hurt both of us. She broke up with me because I pushed her away. I strongly regret pushing such a nice girl away because of my deep rooted issues, it just hurts me. She was no angel either, but me acting up is what pushed her beyond her limits. This is why I beat myself up over it. Although I'm working hard to correct my issues in therapy right now, you just can't take back the damage. Good thing i don't get suicidal thoughts anymore, If I did, I would be in a world of pain right now. I lost 15 lbs in the 1st 2 weeks and couldn't eat a meal for 3 days. It's been a month since the break up, I think I might actually be coming along just fine. It'd funny you mention that! i happen to be a die-hard DBZ and WWE fan myself I'm huge sports fanatic too, and I watch some games from time to time. I'm forcing myself to watch more TV these days because my mind just wanders all day. I just found an elastic band here at work and put it on my wrist. The technique definitely works just used it a few times and now she's out of my mind. I did block her everywhere. I blocked her Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr. I didn't delete or block her number, I'm not ready for that yet. Plus, I don't have the urge to call her anymore. I stopped calling her 2 weeks ago when she told me, "Go get your **** together and work on yourself. Until then we're not together" haha she's so sweet lol. I don't know what i would do without Lockshack this place has been great to me. People are very honest and wise, it makes me feel like i'm not alone Link to post Share on other sites
HBK3317 Posted March 8, 2015 Share Posted March 8, 2015 Although I'm working hard to correct my issues in therapy right now, you just can't take back the damage. Dude tell me about Damage! You know what I did after my breakup? I ranted all over Facebook about it ... Bitched about it so much... Proposed random friends on Facebook and all that being as High as Duck on Drugs! God damn it! And the worst part is I didn't even remember doing that until two months back when I was randomly checking my profile...! Imagine the horror...The shame ... S#it... And as they say, The damage had been done... Nothing can be done except to accept it and move on... Good thing i don't get suicidal thoughts anymore, If I did, I would be in a world of pain right now. I lost 15 lbs in the 1st 2 weeks and couldn't eat a meal for 3 days. It's been a month since the break up, I think I might actually be coming along just fine. That's real good brother. I am happy for you It'd funny you mention that! i happen to be a die-hard DBZ and WWE fan myself I'm huge sports fanatic too, and I watch some games from time to time. I'm forcing myself to watch more TV these days because my mind just wanders all day. Glad to know we have more than a messed up break up in common! Lol! So just check this site out News - Dragon Ball Multiverse It's an awesome Manga (Comics). You'll love it. It's too good! I just found an elastic band here at work and put it on my wrist. The technique definitely works just used it a few times and now she's out of my mind. Told ya just keep on snapping it and in a few days you would not need it I didn't delete or block her number, I'm not ready for that yet. Plus, I don't have the urge to call her anymore Trust me, you need to delete it... It's very liberating. If not now do it as soon as you can... Well I guess I should stop now! Anyways do read that Manga it will completely absorb you even if for only a few hours and keep us updated... See ya Link to post Share on other sites
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