still suffer...

[privategal]

Its approaching 2 months since he exited our friendship...approaching 3 solid weeks of NC...

A friend (old flame, but romance had ended a long while back) used a small disagreement if you could even call it that to end the friendship.

 

A friendship breakup is EVERY bit as hard as a romantic breakup (for me, moreso) and I feel the friendship was only letting me down gently after our romantic breakup anyways and he used a small thing to be able to escape from me making it seem like my fault to ease his guilt. He did plead with me to stay friends...pleaded and wrote and called daily. But some part tells me since it was so sudden, it must have not been a long term plan to stay friends forever, even though forever was a word he used ALL the time.

 

I cried, left a few voicemails and emails to try and repair or talk it out...looked crazy Im sure.

 

even though I was a beautiful, perfect, loyal, caring, forgiving friend...one who was abandoned and endured the silent treatment from him many times....Go figure in the end *I* was the one apologizing?

To no avail though...he was done. Overnight...finished.

 

I think I cry more for being treated this way and feeling like I am just trash and dead to him and my mind says he is happy and carefree and relieved of me being out of his life when I did nothing but be the coolest friend and support I could be. Its a very low and degrading feeling...especially since the friendship was just growing roots and just learning to be a new fresh start now that the romantic part was ling over...it seemed like we were communicating well...we were finding our way and a great support to eachother, even laughing alot like the old friends we were before there was love.

Its unfathomable, its so difficult to heal from a shocking ending.

 

I do everything I can to stay busy, eat right, work alot...new city so no real friends but my hubby...but Im mentally exhausted and left feeling so horrible that I am this disposable.

 

Im sorry, feel really alone. Im not seeming to get better.

[HBK3317]

Are you sure there are no feelings in your heart for him still? If you are then I would just like to tell you this...

 

Go to his place, his workplace, anywhere you know you will find him, or just call him and ask him to his face, " WTF is your deal? Why won't you talk to me" And be as mean and angry as you can be. At least just pretend to be yeah you need him to be scared to get an honest answer out of him.

 

It might be that he needs some space to think over things... Might be he still has feelings for you and didn't Know what to do as you're married now ... Might be he just wants to be alone... In any case you get your answer and then we work on that.

 

And don't worry about coming across as desperate, you won't... If anything it's an act of courage to muster all your strength and confront a person. Confrontations are a bitch!

 

You might also want to think of your husband once in a while because he won't be particularly happy seeing you like this... Have you like talked to him about this? I surely think he would provide better support then all of us here combined !

 

Also why destroy yourself, your marriage over someone who doesn't respect your friendship? Food for thought.

 

Anyway keep updating let us know what happened.

[privategal]

I think he has feelings in that nostalgia kind of way, the way all ex's feel about each other mostly, it didn't work out romance wise but you care for the person and can remember the good times. He is married too so hes not pining nor am I. He knows my husband.

Ive talked to my husband lots and he feels bad about the greiving and says I may never know why. I don't walk around crying in front of him all day.

 

I cant confront him I moved 10 hours away so that wont work.

I know I just have to accept he is done with the friendship and Im trying to move forward, its just shocking why we can no longer be friends when we put a lot of effort into making that aspect work. I guess maybe the distance took away its value or something. Idk.

I think its the cold cruel way it all went down I don't know him to be that cold and thats what Im having trouble moving past. I don't get what happened.

[Ruby65]

It sounds like your grieving the loss of an emotional affair.

 

I can't help but think it's going to be good for you, in the long-run, that this relationship is over.

[HBK3317]

Well then I guess you just have to sit tight, buckle up and not think about it at all. It will hurt yes but you also know it as well as I do... This shall pass.