Avante91 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I urge anyone who is going through no contact to stay in it until you are fully healed. No good will come from reaching out. We broke up 30th November I begged and pleaded and we argued. I sent letters, flowers, turned up to declare my love and I was heartbroken when she was cold and heartless... Where was the girl I spent. 3 years of my life with I thought to myself. We'll my friends. People change, feelings fade and things move on. She unblocked me recently and I saw it was an opportunity to offer an olive branch as our breakup was childish and irrational. I messaged her today apologising for my needy behaviour. She responded by saying she was over me over it and seeing someone I know. I asked who it was and promised not to cause any drama but she won't tell me. This is the last bit of power she holds over me she said "I can't be friends with you because I'm seeing someone you know. We went on a date 2 weeks ago". My heart broke again I truly thought I was healed big mistake. So she won.... But now I move on, it's given me the closure I thought I deserved but never received. Please people stay in no contact you will compromise your progress. I was on 86 days.... Now I refuse to count. Her behaviour shows that the love was one way and not reciprocated frankly I feel weak and like I have failed I wish I didn't break NC. Please my friends do not break your heart again. I am such a mess and I have flu so feel even worse and alone, all these days I've been to counselling, writing in my journal, declining advances from females. And all along she has probably been sleeping with one of my "friends". I think it's evil she won't tell me who it is sure I would be upset but I could truly close the book. Now I have it wait and hear from someone else who it is which will further hinder my recovery. This was my first love and what it has taught me is your first love shows you what true love isn't. I am a mess loveshack but I truly 110% I'm done. For her to say "I'm seeing someone you know but I'm not telling you who" truly speaks volumes about her as a person and the love I thought she had for me. Rant over, please pick me up forum members. Kind regards Avante X 4 Link to post Share on other sites
LivinDeadGrl Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I urge anyone who is going through no contact to stay in it until you are fully healed. No good will come from reaching out. We broke up 30th November I begged and pleaded and we argued. I sent letters, flowers, turned up to declare my love and I was heartbroken when she was cold and heartless... Where was the girl I spent. 3 years of my life with I thought to myself. We'll my friends. People change, feelings fade and things move on. She unblocked me recently and I saw it was an opportunity to offer an olive branch as our breakup was childish and irrational. I messaged her today apologising for my needy behaviour. She responded by saying she was over me over it and seeing someone I know. I asked who it was and promised not to cause any drama but she won't tell me. This is the last bit of power she holds over me she said "I can't be friends with you because I'm seeing someone you know. We went on a date 2 weeks ago". My heart broke again I truly thought I was healed big mistake. So she won.... But now I move on, it's given me the closure I thought I deserved but never received. Please people stay in no contact you will compromise your progress. I was on 86 days.... Now I refuse to count. Her behaviour shows that the love was one way and not reciprocated frankly I feel weak and like I have failed I wish I didn't break NC. Please my friends do not break your heart again. I am such a mess and I have flu so feel even worse and alone, all these days I've been to counselling, writing in my journal, declining advances from females. And all along she has probably been sleeping with one of my "friends". I think it's evil she won't tell me who it is sure I would be upset but I could truly close the book. Now I have it wait and hear from someone else who it is which will further hinder my recovery. This was my first love and what it has taught me is your first love shows you what true love isn't. I am a mess loveshack but I truly 110% I'm done. For her to say "I'm seeing someone you know but I'm not telling you who" truly speaks volumes about her as a person and the love I thought she had for me. Rant over, please pick me up forum members. Kind regards Avante X You don't need to know who it is. It will just hurt more, and then the wondering will start. You may even start the social media stalking. I don't know if you want to block her, but it might help. She doesn't deserve your friendship even if she wasn't seeing someone else. Keep your chin up!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
towardthefuture Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 So those 26 missed calls from your other thread were her desperately wanting to make sure you know she's over you and seeing your friend? That's just meaaaannnnn 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avante91 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 So those 26 missed calls from your other thread were her desperately wanting to make sure you know she's over you and seeing your friend? That's just meaaaannnnn 26 missed calls last week, 17 last night she will never admit it so didn't bring it up. I never want to see or speak to her again this has given me all the closure I needed! Sucks but I will be stronger and find someone who actually loves me doesn't just say it x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Heatemyheart89 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Sorry to hear this . But after her admission would you really want to be with her ?Carry on with NC and don't worry who she is dating . Focus on you . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avante91 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 Sorry to hear this . But after her admission would you really want to be with her ?Carry on with NC and don't worry who she is dating . Focus on you . That's exactly what my mother said and it got me thinking no I wouldn't. I am seriously done and I kind of needed this pain and revelation to move on and focus on me X 1 Link to post Share on other sites
neildc Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Ouch man, that's terrible to hear. I definitely feel for you sir. Thanks for sharing your story because there are many of us in similar situations. I also went through the stages of pleading, sending letters, doing everything. How could a woman that loved you so dearly now be so harsh, mean-spirited, etc? Does she even feel any amount of hurt over what has happened or not being around you anymore? Is she even thinking about you at all? It's just like a switch has flipped. I've finally gotten over those initial emotions myself (learned the hard way) and also have been NC (a whole whopping 4 days, hah). Either way, I could totally see myself trying to reach out in the future (a month or two down the road), and I will probably receive the same type of news you have. You are totally right though, it is not worth it. People do change, and what you think is 'love' is just a distant memory you are clinging to for a sign of hope. The woman that she is today is NOT the same person you were in love with. It's that feeling of bliss that we wish we could bottle up and keep forever, but it's something that is never coming back (with this one at least). The best advice is just as you said, forget her and go NC (SO much easier said than done, I know). The folks here are amazing and have brought me up during my time in the dumps. Hang in there man, it can only get better. The fact that you made it so long in NC is a tribute to your strength. Be proud of yourself. Sure you reached out, but now at least definitively have that answer. You allowed yourself to calm down, her to have that space, and she still obviously was not worried about you or your feelings. Time for you to focus all your energy on yourself, become a better version of you, and explore the possibilities that are out there. I am with you 100%. Same exact situation. I will probably foolishly still break NC at some point, even though I know better (and have great people like you sharing stories of the end result), but it is what it is. Everyone has worth, and don't let this person make you feel otherwise. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mi7522 Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 I urge anyone who is going through no contact to stay in it until you are fully healed. No good will come from reaching out. We broke up 30th November I begged and pleaded and we argued. I sent letters, flowers, turned up to declare my love and I was heartbroken when she was cold and heartless... Where was the girl I spent. 3 years of my life with I thought to myself. We'll my friends. People change, feelings fade and things move on. She unblocked me recently and I saw it was an opportunity to offer an olive branch as our breakup was childish and irrational. I messaged her today apologising for my needy behaviour. She responded by saying she was over me over it and seeing someone I know. I asked who it was and promised not to cause any drama but she won't tell me. This is the last bit of power she holds over me she said "I can't be friends with you because I'm seeing someone you know. We went on a date 2 weeks ago". My heart broke again I truly thought I was healed big mistake. So she won.... But now I move on, it's given me the closure I thought I deserved but never received. Please people stay in no contact you will compromise your progress. I was on 86 days.... Now I refuse to count. Her behaviour shows that the love was one way and not reciprocated frankly I feel weak and like I have failed I wish I didn't break NC. Please my friends do not break your heart again. I am such a mess and I have flu so feel even worse and alone, all these days I've been to counselling, writing in my journal, declining advances from females. And all along she has probably been sleeping with one of my "friends". I think it's evil she won't tell me who it is sure I would be upset but I could truly close the book. Now I have it wait and hear from someone else who it is which will further hinder my recovery. This was my first love and what it has taught me is your first love shows you what true love isn't. I am a mess loveshack but I truly 110% I'm done. For her to say "I'm seeing someone you know but I'm not telling you who" truly speaks volumes about her as a person and the love I thought she had for me. Rant over, please pick me up forum members. Kind regards Avante X Lesson learned. Day 1 starts again, remember this in 85 days 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sad26 Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 I urge anyone who is going through no contact to stay in it until you are fully healed. No good will come from reaching out. We broke up 30th November I begged and pleaded and we argued. I sent letters, flowers, turned up to declare my love and I was heartbroken when she was cold and heartless... Where was the girl I spent. 3 years of my life with I thought to myself. We'll my friends. People change, feelings fade and things move on. She unblocked me recently and I saw it was an opportunity to offer an olive branch as our breakup was childish and irrational. I messaged her today apologising for my needy behaviour. She responded by saying she was over me over it and seeing someone I know. I asked who it was and promised not to cause any drama but she won't tell me. This is the last bit of power she holds over me she said "I can't be friends with you because I'm seeing someone you know. We went on a date 2 weeks ago". My heart broke again I truly thought I was healed big mistake. So she won.... But now I move on, it's given me the closure I thought I deserved but never received. Please people stay in no contact you will compromise your progress. I was on 86 days.... Now I refuse to count. Her behaviour shows that the love was one way and not reciprocated frankly I feel weak and like I have failed I wish I didn't break NC. Please my friends do not break your heart again. I am such a mess and I have flu so feel even worse and alone, all these days I've been to counselling, writing in my journal, declining advances from females. And all along she has probably been sleeping with one of my "friends". I think it's evil she won't tell me who it is sure I would be upset but I could truly close the book. Now I have it wait and hear from someone else who it is which will further hinder my recovery. This was my first love and what it has taught me is your first love shows you what true love isn't. I am a mess loveshack but I truly 110% I'm done. For her to say "I'm seeing someone you know but I'm not telling you who" truly speaks volumes about her as a person and the love I thought she had for me. Rant over, please pick me up forum members. Kind regards Avante X You seem very mature and wiser after this. Wish I was like you. Keep it up ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FancyFace Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Avante: So sorry to hear how things went down. Forgive yourself for the error in judgment for breaking NC and soldier on with it now. If ever the urge to break it creeps up again, return to this post (and others) and also remember just how crappy you felt in this moment, trust me it will deter you. The road to recovery after a devastating breakup, expecially a breakup from a twit like your ex, is never a straight and easy road, but at the end of the day you just have to keep on trucking and moving. Know that you are stronger than this, stronger than pain or disappointment and that you are a wonderful person who will grow from it. You must tell yourself that you will become better and not bitter from the experience. Wishing you all the best and sending you lots of love and light. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Avante91 Posted February 26, 2015 Author Share Posted February 26, 2015 Avante: So sorry to hear how things went down. Forgive yourself for the error in judgment for breaking NC and soldier on with it now. If ever the urge to break it creeps up again, return to this post (and others) and also remember just how crappy you felt in this moment, trust me it will deter you. The road to recovery after a devastating breakup, expecially a breakup from a twit like your ex, is never a straight and easy road, but at the end of the day you just have to keep on trucking and moving. Know that you are stronger than this, stronger than pain or disappointment and that you are a wonderful person who will grow from it. You must tell yourself that you will become better and not bitter from the experience. Wishing you all the best and sending you lots of love and light. Thank you so much for your kind words. Today I am very ill so I have taken the day off of work - feeling rubbish and a lot of spare time on my hands now. I plan on reading posts on LS to improve myself. I had a terrible nights sleep due to flu and this news. Kind regards Link to post Share on other sites
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