MrTeddybear615 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I've finally made the jump. I ended the pain and suffering I've been subjecting myself for the last 4 years. 8 years total of togetherness, but the last 4 years have been hell. On again/off again all due to her and her own indecisiveness and heartbreaking ways. Lies, deceit, hurt, sadness, cheating and etc. All of the above have happened over the last 4 years and I've always tried to push it aside and make it work. Every time I walked away, she'd come running back with tears in her eyes and I'd fall for it...thinking it was going to be different. Boy was I a fool. This last episode has really bought some things to light and I told her that I was only here for one reason.....my endgame was us together in marriage. She'd given up, (longer back sorry, if you can find "Second Chance.....More Like 10th!!!!" you will get a better sense of what I've gone through) due to her depression and everything else, she just didn't really see a reason to keep trying. She said she always has to worry about everyone else and making sure they were ok due to her own issues and I told her I didn't want to be a burden on her any longer. So I ended it. If she has given up....so will I. I can no longer subject myself to the up/down status that has become us. I'm a loving and caring man and would have done all I can to take care of her, but that is over now. In a sense, I'm relieved. I've broken a cycle that's lasted too long. But at the same time, it hurts so bad. I love her immensely. I miss her and I miss us. I've never loved someone as much as I love her. So dealing with this is going to be extremely hard. One day at a time though right? I wish I could take giant leaps and be over this already. Sigh. Thanks for reading. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Heatemyheart89 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Best of luck with your recovery . You are right , one day at a time . Eventually , you will be okay . Link to post Share on other sites
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Yes....it is extremely painful to end a long term relationship that was toxic most of the time but had loving, fun and tender moments at other times. I had to do this six months ago...it was one of the most toughest decisions I think I've ever had to make in my life. To my knowledge, my ex had never cheated on me as yours has done, but he had a serious character disturbance and had two serious addictions which - even though I tried (and offered) to help him through it - eventually took it's toll on my emotions, my soul and our relationship. What made it so difficult for me to let him go was the fact that he had such a beautiful heart and a kind and giving soul, plus other facets of his personality that had endeared me to him. The only thing I can tell you is what I have learned through this VERY difficult and heartbreaking process: * You absolutely MUST employ the N.C. Rule (No Contact of ANY kind - EVER. If you do NOT allow contact from her, then you will NOT be subjected to ANY tactics from her attempting to get back with you) * Employing the N.C. Rule WILL allow your heart, your soul and your emotions to HEAL from the heartbreak and devastation you have suffered because of this break up * Do NOT - I *repeat* - do NOT date ANYONE during your period of healing! If you do, all it will be is a REBOUND; and that's NOT fair to the person you're rebounding with and it's NOT fair to YOU * Do NOT stroll down "memory lane" and view photos, videos or momentos of your ex; it will IMPEDE your healing * Keep yourself BUSY during this period of healing; concentrate on your work, your family, friends, hobbies and anything else that brings joy and contentment to your life * When you are trying to go to sleep at night or when you are NOT busy and have quiet periods or a lull in your day or evening, if you are overcome with emotional sadness, LET IT OUT. Do not cry too long but, take a few minutes to let out most of your grief, disbelief, resentment, sadness and heartbreak. *NEVER* hold these types of feelings inside! It is THERAPEUTIC and CLEANSING to allow your emotions to escape from inside of you * Do NOT use alcohol, drugs or food to numb your emotional pain. You will find that it'll work for the short term, but not in the long run * And lastly, repeat the above steps until you reach the final stage of healing: INDIFFERENCE towards your ex. Once you are able to think about her without breaking down or feeling any sadness or anger, and once you reach the stage where you do NOT want her back and wouldn't take her back even if she begged you - THEN, and ONLY then, will you KNOW that your heart has finally HEALED!!!! God Bless, Stay Strong & Take Care of Yourself. You WILL get through this! And one day, you'll look back on this moment and you will feel complete and utter RELIEF that you've made it out to the other side and, you will realize how much happier and more content that you are with your life! And maybe by this time, you will have a NEW love in your life who will treat you with LOVE, RESPECT and who will be FAITHFUL!! . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 It's entirely unoriginal and entirely true: You can't love someone who doesn't love themselves. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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