FixItCris Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Not on purpose, I was travelling home from her side of town after doing a job there, and saw her on the motorway. She didn't look the way i remember. Against all my better judgement, I text her "Too busy texting to wave?" Then deleted it and chucked my phone aside. I realised it was a dumb thing to do, but i'd been feeling like contacting her a lot lately. To my surprise she actually responded, we had a normal conversation, just small talk and stuff, I said some things I'd been wanting to say, and made my peace. Thanked her for the good memories, she apologised for the bad ones, and that was that. I feel sort of relieved now. Like it wouldn't be so awkward if i run into her. I have read so many posts of this happening, and then the dumpee crashing and regretting it and such, but to be fair, I didn't have any hopes, I was not looking for anything or even expecting a reply. Hopefully I won't be back here later regretting it and wahhing on about NC.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FixItCris Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 Nope, Had a date tonight, and still don't regret contacting her. Link to post Share on other sites
Pier Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 (edited) ........................ Edited January 22, 2015 by Pier Wrong post Link to post Share on other sites
Author FixItCris Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 Not entirely sure it was the best idea in the world, But lately I have begun to believe it is much better to regret something you've done, than it is to regret not doing it. There are so many things I regret not doing when I was younger, and I think this is part of my new mindset, don't leave anything undone or unsaid. Whats the worst that could happen? Nothing. Hope that makes some sort of sense to somebody. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FixItCris Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 OK so now she's back in my head again. Not pining or wanting her or any of that, just thinking about her a lot again :/ I had all but stopped the thoughts until I saw her that day. I'm not back at square one, and I know the thoughts will stop again. Just sharing my experience I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 You do know that talking to yourself is a sign of 'crazy-mind', don't you? Sorry. Texting. Bad mistake. See? She's living rent-free in your head again.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FixItCris Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 You do know that talking to yourself is a sign of 'crazy-mind', don't you? Sorry. Texting. Bad mistake. See? She's living rent-free in your head again.... I never professed to be anything other than crazy But yes. I should be known better Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 well, it's OK. Now you do. next time you see her on the motorway - keep driving. Shouldn't be texting and driving anyway... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FixItCris Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 Just a quick update. DO NOT DO THIS. Saw her while I was out today, massive panic attack. I had been doing fine until I had the genius idea to text her the other day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bigtrouble Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Just a quick update. DO NOT DO THIS. Saw her while I was out today, massive panic attack. I had been doing fine until I had the genius idea to text her the other day. We understand, thank you for advice... Hang in there... Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Just a quick update. DO NOT DO THIS. Saw her while I was out today, massive panic attack. I had been doing fine until I had the genius idea to text her the other day. FixitCris, get a grip, honey. This is not her. YOU are doing this. You are permitting old emotions and memories to govern and control what you feel and what happens to you. It's all self-generated.... This has nothing to do with what you did. This is all inspired and engineered by how things USED to be. It's history. Don't set yourself back with foolish beliefs and lies, you tell yourself. You need to shake this off, and refuse to submit to Mind-crap. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FixItCris Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 I think I get what you mean. I think I just need to stick to no contact, I have anxiety problems which I have never had before, and it's kinda scary. I know this is my own fault. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 No. 'Fault' is a "bad" word. It just loads your shoulders with more self-inflicted guilt. But you ARE responsible for what goes on in your own head; nobody else can access that, and certainly never without your permission... remember to breathe. Stupid advice, huh? But honestly, the moment you feel anxiety rising, stop. Half the reason panic arises is because we hyperventilate, and deprive our system of oxygen. So, drop your shoulders, close your eyes, loosen your jaw, relax your arms by your side, and take three, deep "into your belly" breaths. Hold each one for a count of four, release to a count of six. While you breathe in, think "Calm" and as you breathe out, think "Let go". if you need to continue the exercise, do so. But it works. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 Hey Cris, Just wanted to say that you shouldn't beat yourself up for texting her. It's only natural to have given into temptation at some point. It seems to have strengthened your resolve to stick to nc from now on, so I think you needed to do it to get it out of your system to know that it's best for your healing to not go there in the future. We've all slipped up at one point or another. So we live & learn.... such is life. Also, the panic/anxiety.... totally normal. Not fun, but normal. Just allow yourself to feel the varied emotions. The only way out is through.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jesuischarlie Posted January 24, 2015 Share Posted January 24, 2015 I have panic attacks so completely understand. I actually feel physically sick.... When we see each other we stop and meet. Then I just end up crying. Later I wonder why I feel so terrible and it really is crazy making. Hard to keep your head. When you still care for someone it's so hard ignoring them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FixItCris Posted January 24, 2015 Author Share Posted January 24, 2015 Thanks for your words everyone. I think For a while I won't go to those places anymore, just so my head doesn't do this again. NC was definitely working before, so I know if I stick to it properly I will come out OK. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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