Marco Valerio Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 (edited) Hi everyone! I've just found some pictures from my last relationship. We broke up over a year ago, she was the dumper and she was a horrible gf. I got rid of the pictures and other stuff a few months after the break up, it was too hard for me to keep them. But now, I don't know what to do with this whole album. It does bother me a bit, but I don't know if this album escaped from my "inquisition" for a reason. What do you think I should do? Edited January 20, 2015 by Marco Valerio Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbowlove Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Burn it. Smores anyone? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 You should delete them permanently/tear them up and throw them out/put them in a box and store it away somewhere you never look. I'm so happy I always delete pictures of exes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
batt Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 I burnt all the pics of one of my exes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marco Valerio Posted January 20, 2015 Author Share Posted January 20, 2015 When I did it the first time, burn letters and throw away pics, some of my friends said that I would regret in the future not having them as memories. The first thing I will do tomorrow morning will be throwing them in the bin, yeap. Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 I may be a little different, but I saved the images (all digital) and emailed them to a secondary email account. I used to look at them a lot for about 4 months after the breakup. However, haven't looked at them for over 3 months. One day I'll be able to go back and look at them without any feelings. She was a little hottie and sent some... ahem... suggestive pics. Nice to look at once I'm completely indifferent. May not be the norm, but that's just me. NOT looking at them for the last 3 months has helped immensely, though, so I see why others burn/delete/trash. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 i have many years of my life gone because i rip up photos that have me in them.....I wouldnt suggest doing that burning or ripping up photos i really regret it...especially photos of me as a girl.....i have photos of my ex ....they are away in a box in my cupboard so my girls can look at them anytime they feel like it.....our break up wasnt the best...but they are memories...of some good times we had together.....i dont feel the need to look at them....and when i do look at them i dont feel anything...sometimes i even smile...its been years though since we broke up...deb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 Put them in the bin. Live in the present. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
blackcat777 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I buried the folder of digital pics of me and my boyfriend a million levels deep on an external hard drive where it would have been too much of a pain to look. **Getting them out of sight and out of mind was the best thing I ever did.** You might think, oh, the ex will never know if I look at these or not, the pictures carry such an emotional weight, there are so many questions, like how could they throw all these precious memories away, but... It feels so much better just to let. it. go. As for physical reminders, I gave ALMOST everything back to him immediately, about three days post breakup. It was like the stuff in my room was burning, I had to throw it out. There were a few items I couldn't part with (the really awesome metalwork jewelry he handcrafted, all our concert stubs/wristbands, his blood donor stickers because I thought he was such an altruistic sweetheart)... I cried over them like a fool for a while, and felt so much better once I made the funeral bag and locked it away for good. We ended up getting back together, but honestly, the old pictures still give me an incredibly weird feeling. I dug them out once I trusted that we were really back together, and I don't like looking at them. We started fresh and my boyfriend was willing to take things seriously and to a completely different level than before. He also used to have very long hair, that he cut sometime during NC. He came back a different person. The guy in the old pictures wasn't serious about me and he did break my heart. So, yeah, I'm still all for living in the present. The new pics are so much better. I worked out like a maniac during NC, helloooooooo upper body strength. If you don't have the guts to throw everything away, put it somewhere YOU CAN'T TOUCH and won't be tempted to touch. Not for a very long time... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I've always felt burning pictures, was a weak attempt to "edit" our personal histories. Life happens. Those people in the photo, they mattered. Why dishonor that memory? Because it hurts too much? Because we lack the self awareness to accept that things end? I keep all the old mementos, photo's and letters. They are part of the journey that brought me to today. I wouldn't take back those relationships. Why pretend they never happened. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbowlove Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I've always felt burning pictures, was a weak attempt to "edit" our personal histories. Life happens. Those people in the photo, they mattered. Why dishonor that memory? Because it hurts too much? Because we lack the self awareness to accept that things end? I keep all the old mementos, photo's and letters. They are part of the journey that brought me to today. I wouldn't take back those relationships. Why pretend they never happened. Because sometimes it feels good to burn stuff. There's no reason to hang on to any of it; especially if she was s horrible GF. Burning it doesn't say it never happened; it says I'm taking my power back and goodbye. I tossed out everything that belonged to my X. She happened, I learned my lessons and I accept its over. There's no reason to keep her letters, her photos, and her gifts. Are we suppose to hang on to it forever? Will there come a day 20 years from now that I'll want to look at her stuff and say...she use to love me? Nah. Moving on. Burn it. Trash it. Turn the page. Now, if it was a good relationship and we remained friendly, that's different. Otherswise, let it all go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 I wouldn't necessarily burn them, but I couldn't help but really like the s'mores comment, haha. I think you could honestly store them away somewhere. With my one ex, I labeled a shoe box 'sadness, do not enter' and wrote other poignant words on it and drew tears and various things so I knew what I'd be asking for if I went there. I kept it closed for a long time. However, recently I came upon photos of him saved to one of my thumb drives and looking at them wasn't painful. Just memories, you know? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bigtrouble Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Hi everyone! I've just found some pictures from my last relationship. We broke up over a year ago, she was the dumper and she was a horrible gf. I got rid of the pictures and other stuff a few months after the break up, it was too hard for me to keep them. But now, I don't know what to do with this whole album. It does bother me a bit, but I don't know if this album escaped from my "inquisition" for a reason. What do you think I should do? Some people tend to burn them.... Or keep them in a box and forget about them... Some are just plain creative... I knew a person who grieved after BU. When to his backyard. Dug a hole in the earth. And buried all the pics, gifts etc. from her Ex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marco Valerio Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 Thank you very much to all of you. It's true they are part of my life, memories, but the past is the past, I can't built a new house having left the old foundations. I should say, there's no good feelings left for her, so no point of keeping them. Link to post Share on other sites
bigtrouble Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Thank you very much to all of you. It's true they are part of my life, memories, but the past is the past, I can't built a new house having left the old foundations. I should say, there's no good feelings left for her, so no point of keeping them. To each his own, honestly I keep most of them... I just care less and less as I move on... Taking them out... Tempts me too look at them and read them... I just best leave them where they are... When wounds are still fresh... Its painful... Link to post Share on other sites
sober and dry Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 bigtrouble, it's true that when the wounds are still fresh it's painful and you would probably read it all or at least look at it when you are trashing them, but I believe that this will happen just the same no matter how much time as gone. I also think that keeping it in your life is just a stone in the shoe, so out with that I would say, the sooner the better. Link to post Share on other sites
bigtrouble Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 bigtrouble, it's true that when the wounds are still fresh it's painful and you would probably read it all or at least look at it when you are trashing them, but I believe that this will happen just the same no matter how much time as gone. I also think that keeping it in your life is just a stone in the shoe, so out with that I would say, the sooner the better. Yes its true, its painful, but hey I still have the pics from my other BU. The Girl left me for another man, now I have to sets. Darn If I took them out it would be depressing. Aaargh... I just remembered... Twice cheated on, replaced and left in a ditch.... Love is sweeter the second time... Breakups are much bitter the second time... I will get through this, just need to keep telling myself... NC NC NC ... Link to post Share on other sites
sober and dry Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 (edited) Yes its true, its painful, but hey I still have the pics from my other BU. The Girl left me for another man, now I have to sets. Darn If I took them out it would be depressing. Aaargh... I just remembered... Twice cheated on, replaced and left in a ditch.... Love is sweeter the second time... Breakups are much bitter the second time... I will get through this, just need to keep telling myself... NC NC NC ... Can you see how this remains of other ex(es) are somewhat affecting you till this day? This new ones will just do the same sometime later! Sure I didn't trashed everything from all of my exes, but I'm talking about minor, minor things and maybe 1 or 2 at maximum and not from every ex I have. But surely not pictures of "us" because it makes me remember the RS and not just the person. Sorry to be so blunt maybe but, it's not just saying to yourself and imposing NC that will get you through this, you actually have to make it real, you know? Trashing your's exes stuff is one of the things you can do to make it real. Edited January 22, 2015 by sober and dry 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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