Loneliness and depression my perception.

[ralfgarnett]

Dear friend, if this past few months has taught me anything it is the empty pain of loneliness, it's all consuming, a dark damp blanket of cold endless pain shrouding everything, every move, every thought, causing a stifling vacuum that makes you feel as if you are drowning in your own mind and thoughts, loneliness is icey cold, sinister black, empty, all consuming, indiscriminate of age, of anyone, young or old, big or small, male or female, it engulfs the last rays of daylight and darkens the anticipated relief of the following dawn taking that privilege from you, loneliness is destructive, disruptive, silently violent, and affects ones daily routine as a disability disrupts ones ability to move, it is invasive, painful, all consuming, suffocating, smothering, once that door is closed loneliness is your unwanted companion until such time as you can try to escape it's boney grabbing clutches, but there is no real escape, this invisible grinning sinister enemy has you where and when it wants you and violates your mind body and soul with it's evil form, it stalks you as a hunter stalks his prey waiting to pounce to smother, slash, and stifle, it knows it has you where it wants you and calls time and time again to violate you with abandon and there is no defence against its suffocating advances, day after day regardless, it lurks waiting for the time to come to invade again those many spaces that it makes it's unwelcome home, so as we yet again approach the season of greed and gluttony, please try and stop for a second and think of those people not so fortunate, those people for whom their only companion is loneliness, old people, young people, scared people, the weak, the needy, all have one thing in common as all they will consume is loneliness, their only gift is loneliness, and when the glittery trinkets and baubles have long since been forgotten and put away for another year, their old friend loneliness will still be around 24/7, 365 days a year to make their lives a living hell come rain or shine without discrimination from winter to winter and beyond.

 

You have an empty feeling that comes from within

You long to share your feelings but no one will listen,

 

You reach out for open arms, but no one is there

Your tears start to fall but nobody cares,

 

You pick up the phone, again, no one is there

You feel overwhelmed again nobody cares,

 

 

You hide in your bed to escape from your pain

So you don't see those who aren't there for you again,

 

 

The cold flames spark inside you and heat up your fear

Your thoughts are so dark, your days are so drear,

 

 

Emotional fires burn up in your head

Fires of love, and pain, of loss, and regret,

 

 

Consumed in your blackness, bit by bit you slowly start to fade away

Your once bright blue sunny skies have turned to clouds of darkness and grey.

[d0nnivain]

Yours is a very moving & vivid description.

 

 

Many people have been there, me included. You do have to remember that as dark as it may be now, there is a sunrise coming. Hang in there!

[JDPT]

Very dark indeed, however, as stated previously there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. It can get very cold and eerie and gloomy but I'll like to think that it's mostly a state of mind and I've proven myself plenty of times that it can be a state of mind. But I do need something that'll spark me right back up and just take advantage of that positive momentum. I have yet to find what that spark is.

[ralfgarnett]

Sorry didn't mean to scare or upset anyone I just wanted to say how I am feeling in order to share and listen to other peoples experiences, thank you both for your replies.

[todreaminblue]

when i feel like all the skies are grey,

when my blue skies have storm clouds in the way ,

ill wake up my inner child,

and say hey your turn for a little while,

 

 

paint me a picture and while you do,

help me paint over the grey and help me see through,

all that is cold and cruel and all i dont understand,

help me to see beauty in people and love for the land,

help me read poetry and listen to songs,

help me turn right all that is wrong,

give me your yes inner child child of mine,

help me through this lonely time,

and out she comes from a deep sleep,

and i rest knowing my heart she will keep,

for often we lose sight of beauty, reason and rhyme,

thats where the hearts of children should be loosed all the time,

to see anew afresh, a dance, a dervish in summer rain,

a dance to renew our hopes again and again

 

childs eyes are filled with wonder and peace,

when you feel blue,to your inner child release,

to quell those fears and storm clouds to cease,

shine the light in your heart let the world see,

an inner child who has from grey skies, set free........from my inner child to you.(she likes poetry) hugs to ya

 

 

 

your poem was haunting......but beautiful....as you are....deb

Edited December 21, 2014 by todreaminblue