Your ex does not have a personality disorder

[Chin Up]

It's normal to think this way after a breakup, but reign those thoughts in.

 

Your Ex Doesn't Have A Personality Disorder

 

I've been there myself, and it's so easy to chalk things off as a disorder on the other persons part (tho my recent ex did fess to being a commitment phobe and his father, a therapist, warned my dumb a*s but I chugged on anyway, lol my own fault) but we're more than likely wrong! wrong! wrong!

 

Men tend to sum a woman up as being BPD, and women tend to sum men up as being commitment phobes or narcissists. While either may be true, more than likely they are not. They're acting like a person that is conflicted with caring for you and wanting out and are expressing that conflict. Face it.

 

Tough loving on its way. But the sooner you learn to cope and deal with the fact that things just weren't right, or the other person behaved the way they did because they were miserable/unhappy/etc and just plain ol wanted out, the sooner you can work on YOU.

 

Just because someone wants/wanted out and behaved badly in the process, doesn't mean they have issues. They're conflicted and will behave so.

 

Sorry. Reality check kicking you square in the pants so you stop labeling someone as nuts so you dont' have to deal. Lamb-baste me all you want, but it doesn't change anything. They weren't happy, the signs were there, that doesn't mean they have issues. It's done. They don't want you. plain and simple. Face the hurt and get over it. slandering someone as "screwed up" because they aren't happy with you is a testament to your own issues.

 

I've learned this the hard way and its been an invaluable lesson. Just because things don't go how you planned or how you wanted, doesn't mean the other person is "messed up". Stop trying to dismiss and devalue the other person as having a "problem" as to why they left you and accept that even though they may (very, very slim) have a disorder, the more likely and bitter truth is that they were unhappy with you and wanted out at any cost and seemed strange in the process. sorry.

[StalwartMind]

It's just so easy to label things and others and most humans are guilty of doing exactly that all the time, even when they don't realize it, because it has become second nature to just perceive something in a specific way.

 

Truthfully there can always be many reasons as to why something happened or didn't happen, why two people go wrong of each other, and so on and so forth, and the most natural instinct to most, always seems to be "blame others".

 

The single most ignorant action any human can do, is believe we are perfect or that we can't become even better than what we currently are. I do consider myself to be a very understanding, open minded and considerate person of others, especially of people whom do not share the same views as me. Despite that I in no way believe I'm better than anyone, or think I'm flawless. Fact is that none of us can ever stop improving ourselves and even at the very best, there will always be conflicts at hand that may not have any ideal solution.

 

I feel it's a very valuable trait for anyone to have, if they can question everything including themselves. It is universally impossible to please everyone, and just because you can't do that doesn't mean that there is inherently anything wrong with any of us.

 

In the end all we are, do and think comes down to present day general social perception and standards that the majority of humans have "agreed" upon, but that doesn't make any behavior more wrong or right.