sammiexo Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 By checking their social media, etc. It's like a habit/addiction for me. I don't talk to my ex anymore but I still look online for what he and the girl he cheated on me with are up to. I don't log into his email anymore..plus? Sigh. But checking her instagram and such is no good, I know. How to stop? Link to post Share on other sites
Arient Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 The answers lie in how you feel after checking. You must feel bad, feel sad, feel angry... all the negative feelings. Such bad feelings should be the motivation for you to stop. First, if you don't believe that you can control your urge well, you should make it impossible for yourself to check on him, block everything possible, cut it all off, deactivate your accounts, etc.... Second, you have to use the bad feelings as a fuel to stop checking. Think to yourself everytime you want to reach out and check, "what will happen after I check their accounts", "Will I feel good or will things change if I do so"... No, only bad outcomes will come. You're stuck with your ex, and can't push your life forward, while they are out there and don't care one damn thing about it. Do you want that? No! Kick them out of your head, proactively. Reclaim your life and yourself. I am also a frequent checker of social media, but heck, nothing good comes out of it. I even felt more stuck, so I decided that I really should DO something here if I want to save my own life. Just think about the consequences after checking, try your best! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RedButton Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 I agree with above, before you go looking, think to yourself 'What do I hope to gain from this?'. Think about what possible benefit there is to it. I sometimes get tempted to see what's happening (even though I unfriended them and mutual friends) and then think 'What are you hoping to see?' and then realise that I don't need or want to know what their profile picture is, or if they posted a new photograph or dyed their hair or whatever. It's also a personal challenge to myself, I think 'No, Red Button, you said you'd be strong and give yourself time. It's so easy to do, why break it now? You're stronger than that, come on.' Really think about it, it's easy to quickly check their account, but it's even easier to not do it and just do something else and move on with your day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WillLoveAgain Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 I have done this and even broke no contact to tell my ex i've seen the photos online. He took them down but the fact that he was with the new girl still remains...I just felt rejected and sad all over again. I blocked him since that incident. Link to post Share on other sites
dclan Posted November 25, 2014 Share Posted November 25, 2014 By checking their social media, etc. It's like a habit/addiction for me. I don't talk to my ex anymore but I still look online for what he and the girl he cheated on me with are up to. I don't log into his email anymore..plus? Sigh. But checking her instagram and such is no good, I know. How to stop? Go to your room Look for your old phone... Yeah remember that thing? The one without internet? The one without all the cool stuff? No whatsup, facebook, mail, instagram, etc. Only text and calls. Use that for a few months. Done 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sammiexo Posted November 26, 2014 Author Share Posted November 26, 2014 You are right- Arient & RedButton- 9 times out of 10 I feel like absolute crap. The only time I actually felt glad/satisfied was when she posted a selfie with her new haircut and she looks even more horrid than before. But really what does any of this matter anymore? But I feel so obssesive and stuck, sigh > Hoping I stay strong, starting with today.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arient Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 You are right- Arient & RedButton- 9 times out of 10 I feel like absolute crap. The only time I actually felt glad/satisfied was when she posted a selfie with her new haircut and she looks even more horrid than before. But really what does any of this matter anymore? But I feel so obssesive and stuck, sigh > Hoping I stay strong, starting with today.... Exactly. You know what, I committed the mistake of checking social media and breaking NC a few times, and for all time, I had to spend a few days after that just to regain my good mood. I mean, by making this mistake, we are pushing ourselves into the sticky puddle of despair again. I always felt so nice when I received replies from him, or a FB like from him, but then, it only made things worse as I realized that I would get nothing more than that. So stay strong, for your sake and sanity. Hugs!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ducky71 Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 Go dark Unplug I read on the interwebz that there is this whole other world out there with live people, trees, grass and fresh air. Link to post Share on other sites
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