Evaluating the relationship

[Zard0z]

I look at where I was in my old relationship (first, 14mos. long) and where I am now and Im happier with the person I'm becoming. I think the break-up shocked me out of some sleepwalk i was in. I wont say Im over her yet, and I have faint hopes for reestablishing a connection, but im getting better week by week.

 

My ex was a very westernized korean, and I relied on her a lot at the beginning of the relationship. She introduced me to all kinds of food, and really helped me to adjust to life here. The ideas for dates usually came from her.

 

Plus, shes a rare case and had a wide apartment all to herself. Id go there every weekend for a few months and we made love like we were in a rocket ship crash landing into a volcano.

 

Because of this situation and the fact that she was taller than me, she held a lot of power in the relationship. At least when we were out dating, in the bed I was like a sensitive Tarzan

 

That isnt to say I only took and didnt give anything. I got her free tickets to a lady gaga concert, came up with some group vacation plans for us and my coworkers, she slept over a lot more at my (much smaller) apartment on the weekends during the last half of the relationship, and I gave her solid emotional support during some tough times, etc.

 

But still, toward the end of the relationship, if i'm honest with myself, i wasnt happy with where it was going either. She planned a trip to thailand for me, and insisted that I go. She kept telling me what to eat and even showed me maps of where to go. I appreciated it, but it made me feel a bit needy perhaps over practical things if not emotionally. I started to question if I was to passive in the relationship, and just about then is when she broke up with me.

 

It felt like the carpet had been pulled out from under me but Im starting to realize now that it was for the best.

[Reels]

If you have realized that it was good to break up, that's really good.

[Zard0z]

If you have realized that it was good to break up, that's really good.

 

theres no doubt in my mind now that it ended when it needed to. and if we had reconciled only weeks later it wouldnt have lasted.

 

This week my longing for her has dropped of significantly. Seems to have coincided with an unsent letter I wrote her.

 

Still, we had a history, one of mutual support, growth, passion, and fond memories, but undeniable stagnation (but continued intimacy) toward the end.

 

And its because of that history I'd like to to send out feelers for reconnecting in some way.

[Reels]

Nicely put.

 

If there was history of goods, I guess you already know that what you really prefer and also in what amount.