Your Take On Common Friends...?

[AaronSG]

Hello folks, first off I hope everyone out there is doing as good as good can be.

 

Next, as the title goes "what's your take on common friends"? Last night around 10:30pm I got a phone call from a friend of mine that I have had now for 6 years. This friend and his Wife used to be "right on the other side of the wall" next door neighbors to me right here in my apartment complex.

 

So the phone rings, I see who's calling and of course answer it, I won't bore you with every detail of the conversation, but what I will bring up is the fact that my friend once again brought up my ex-faince, but as he has a couple times before, he raises things to another level, a level that I've asked him to not do before, like 2 times before, before I can get one word out about the fact that I would rather not talk about my ex-fiance or any part of the breakup anymore, because I'm trying to heal and move on, he blurts out that she changed her relationship status on Facebook and now it say's she's in a relationship, even boasts about how there is now pictures of this guy on her page.

 

"Are you kidding me"? I told him, please, like we've already discussed, please don't do this, it is counter productive to my commitment of the "no contact" process! But before I could launch any more of my words at him in regards to this situation, for I really wanted to dive in, and once in for all get this guy to understand "no contact" and let him know how I just felt about what he did, he says that he's got another call on the other line and will talk to me later!

 

Folks, this will now be the third time I will have talked to this guy about the premise of "no contact" and the fact that it isn't just a process that I have to live by, but my friends, who also might be friends with my ex-faince have to, out of respect, have to live by as well. This will be the third time I will have had to talk to this person in regards on how this breach of "no contact" makes me feel, I think people think that the process only applies to the person who is going through it, not any of that persons surrounding people.

 

I got two options here, and feel free to jump in and throw some more into the works here if you think it's needed. #1 I can just do as I did back in the middle of August and in the beginning of October and that is to remind this person about "no contact" and the yada....yada....yada.... about it. I can also remind him how it makes me feel, and the counter productiveness to it all when the process is breached by outside information, such as was given to me last night about my ex-fiance. #2 Or I can contemplate dissolving the friendship and moving on from not just my breakup situation, but move on from a dropped friendship as well.

 

I like this guy, I really do, we've had some good times together, but with him, like his Wife they are pretty lose and casual and free in life, information exchange included in their nonchalant and cavalier way about being free and liberal with information, such as what was brought to my attention last night. I've talked to this guy twice, if I do it again it will now be a third time. The last one I took about an hour to properly discuss things, I thought I was clear, I though he understood, but I guess I was wrong!

 

My friend and his Wife have been the only two friends of mine to keep my ex-faince as a friend, not just in real life , but on Facebook as well. All my other friends upon my request and some out of their own choosing "unfriended" and "blocked" my ex-faince from their Facebook accounts. These two can see everything she posts, every picture, every relationship status change, every post, every "like" and so forth!

 

What would you do abut this if I was you? Talk to them? Keep them? get rid of them? What?

 

All I know is that it doesn't make me feel good to hear anything about her from anyone, I'm trying my best to heal and move on and live life again! Every time I hear something "official" about my ex-faince it sets me back a couple steps, I don't know, I'm just confused on what to do here!

[RockyCruz]

Get rid of this so called friend. He's not no friend. Toxic. Remove any contact from him. Block his number, block your email. EVERYTHING.

 

You make the choice to let people make you feel like this. If they don't respect your values, your terms, then dissolve the friendship once and for all, and do it now.

 

Or you will be in that same place, stuck, frustrated and always having to deal with this kind of nonsense.

 

You cannot salvage this friendship. It's time to burn this bridge. You're sending a message that you are a dumping trash, he has permission to treat you this way, and you're not strong enough to say no by TAKING ACTION!

 

People don't believe in words but action.

 

Well, now act! No more picking up phone when said friend called or when withheld number. No more communication. Remove all communication from this point on. Whether phone, email, social media etc.

 

You got a choice.

 

Make it and move on.