NC but I still have some of ex's stuff..now what?

[sammiexo]

I have a bag of my ex's tools and a lock from when he came over 3 months ago to unsuccessfully install a new lock in my apt. This was after he cheated- we had separated but were still being friendly. Fast forward to today, he has made no attempt to come get the bag. He still has my memory foam pillow which I have been trying to get back for months and last time I asked him he said "fug your pillow." The last time I asked him about the bag, I was frustrated and said I was not Manhattan mini storage. His reply was the stuff there was to help "my ungrateful ass in the first place."

 

So now idk what to do. I do not want to break NC to hear more bs excuses nor can I ask his friends to help me, they don't want to get involved. I could sell it but 1. I'm afraid it might be bad karma and 2. it has expensive stuff in there. the lock alone cost him $350. The tools are worth just as much, hence circling back to bad karma if he finds out I got rid of it- he would be furious.

 

Whats your advice?

[blindnlost]

Ask yourself an honest question, Are you trying to return the items back to him just so you can see/talk to him.

 

or you just want to return the items to him. Just send him a txt message arrange a time and place, dont discuss anything about the relationship.

 

If that doesnt work, just store it somewhere you wont see.. he will get in touch eventually if its really worth anything to him. if he doesn't after a few month, you can probably sell it.

 

and about retrieving your belongings, is it really worth it? for all the emotional suffering for a pillow? just let him have it..

[Simon Phoenix]

This sounds like a ploy to establish contact to me. If he wants it back, he'll let you know. So either keep it, or just mail it to him or drop it off at a time he won't be there.

[Ducky71]

Tools? Mail it to me, just for spite! I'll pay the shipping!

 

 

Eff him in the ear!

 

 

Don't use this as an excuse to talk to him. No need for him to speak to you like that!

[sammiexo]

I just want his sh*t out of here, to be honest. I feel like he hasn't taken the bag back out of spite and is an excuse for him to hold on to me/control me, somehow. I've given up on the pillow. Before NC I've tried to arrange a time and it's always been an excuse on his end. So if he really cared that much he would have taken the tools back..I want to get rid of them but afraid of bad karma like I mentioned (but also feel like keeping his junk here is bad karma as well, sigh)...so it's a no-win situation, imo. I really do not want to talk to him or see him. Progress since NC for the most part has been good and I don't want to ruin it.

[Zahara]

I think you make excuses -- to break contact.

 

I can't imagine a man cheating on me, talking to me like I'm crap -- then sitting and worrying about bad karma.

 

Box it all up and drop it at his front door when he's not there. Or ask a friend to do it. You're making it harder than it has to be.

[sammiexo]

I think you make excuses -- to break contact.

 

I can't imagine a man cheating on me, talking to me like I'm crap -- then sitting and worrying about bad karma.

 

Box it all up and drop it at his front door when he's not there. Or ask a friend to do it. You're making it harder than it has to be. -- story of my life

 

 

It's true though, he seems to be living happily ever after. Bad karma attaches itself to me for some reason.

Simply, I want to get rid of his bag. No friend is going to do him a favor by returning his belongings, nor do I want to. I would have liked him to come and get it but now that we are in NC I just want to know what the *right* thing to do is, like would I be a crappy person for giving it away.