lakerman34 Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 There is always that urge. You want to see what your ex is up to. You want to know what your ex did Friday night. You want to know if s/he is doing OK, if s/he is struggling about the breakup. You want to see if s/he is putting sad lyrics down on Facebook because you want to know that s/he is feeling just as hurt (if not, more so) than you are. The BEST advice you can get (aside from NC) is this: Don't drink, don't snoop. The sooner you realize that the ex is no longer in your life, the quicker you move on, the faster you can move on to better things and cultivating healthier, more meaningful relationships. -BLOCK them from all social media websites -TOSS everything that reminds you of them -STAY AWAY from her hangouts -STAY AWAY from her friends -REPLACE booze drinking time with gym time I write this post because last night, I snooped and learned something I wish I didn't find out. My ex, as per usual, went out with her friends last night, but she didn't come home. Now, usually that means that she crashed at one of her friend's, but that couldn't have been the case b/c her friend's car was no longer in the front of my house. My ex was probably in bed with another guy. Why do we inflict pain on ourselves? Why MUST we know if they are moving on? The reality is, they are trying to move on JUST like you. Her/his one night stand may be JUST because they feel it'll help them get over you. Focus on yourself. Don't allow her/him to live in your head rent free. Don't snoop, allow her to live the life she wants to live. Realize that getting over each other is not a race. Move at your own pace, but make sure you're moving. S/he is going to sleep with people after your breakup, that's human nature, but you will too. Remember that one time you went down on her and you were grossed out by the smell. Remember that one time she farted. Remember the little mustache she had. Remember how you got her to cum every single time and she could never get you to. Remember that weird thing that lived between her breasts. Remember her at her grossest, and then laugh about this new guy. Just because there may be someone else doesn't erase the fact that you guys dated. It doesn't erase the fact that you guys enjoyed each other's company, that you have the ability to care for and even love another human being. That's HUGE. It doesn't erase the fact that you used to have sex with her. Any guy/girl that has sex with your ex after you, your new attitude is "eh, I hit it already. It was OK." Objectifying women is wrong. Objectifying exes is highly recommended. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Exitleft Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 So true, idk why we do it but nothing good ever results. Great post Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Bottom line, despite your strong feelings, you were not right for each other, and she knows it. Be glad one of you did or you'd be going through this 10 years and three kids from now. Link to post Share on other sites
sammiexo Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 There is always that urge. You want to see what your ex is up to. You want to know what your ex did Friday night. You want to know if s/he is doing OK, if s/he is struggling about the breakup. You want to see if s/he is putting sad lyrics down on Facebook because you want to know that s/he is feeling just as hurt (if not, more so) than you are. The BEST advice you can get (aside from NC) is this: Don't drink, don't snoop. THIS. *insert applause icon here* Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 Well put. I can't tell you how many times I stopped myself from snooping just to see what she's up to. What makes it difficult for me is that she literally grew up two streets over from me and was still living at home when we broke up. Now I don't see her pass by hardly ever anymore and it kind of hit me...wonder if she moved out?? I don't know why it kind of tugs at my heart as it shouldn't, she's just not nearly as good a woman as the one I ended up with. I was fine for a long time, but lately its been difficult at times...go figure. Link to post Share on other sites
sammiexo Posted October 29, 2014 Share Posted October 29, 2014 I want to add, drinking gives you liquid courage. You'll all of a sudden feel brazen, adrenaline starts pumping as you snoop, you'll THINK you can handle whatever you'll find, but the truth is you'll pay for it the next day when you soberly think about all the crap you read and now you are back to square one feeling miserable all over again. Don't ruin your progress. The loser isn't worth it- stop letting him/her control you! Link to post Share on other sites
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