one year later and still coping

[btvdts]

last year around this time I was in a dark place in my life. I had just been dumped, moved to another state and had no idea what the hell I was doing. I felt like I was in a terrible nightmare and kept hoping to wake up. I will admit, I was down for quite some time. I'd be lying if I said I never saw the break up coming. I knew something was wrong, yet she wouldn't tell me. for the last month I was with her, things were intense. it wasn't that we fought. I guess she had just changed her mind about me and hadn't been able to tell me yet. many people would later on tell me that she may have been making sure that the other guy would take her before leaving me. that hurt me. not what people said, but that she couldn't talk to me. I by far was not a perfect boyfriend because there is no such thing, but I sure has hell tried to be the best! nowadays I rarely think of her. I think the one thing that eats me up the most is how horrible her previous relationship was per say from her, and how she would tell me how great I was, yet she never gave me a chance, yet her previous relationship, he got a decade of chances. I guess sometimes you just love someone more then they love you. another thing that made me sad was how I never heard a peep from her. I know many say that's a good thing..it helps you move on faster, but man that was killer for me not to contact her...I guess I can only hope it wasn't terribly easy for her(at least at first) to not contact me. A year from now...who knows maybe she won't be a thought at all. we had some great times...actually she was so far the best relationship I ever had. I truly loved that girl. I know that even though in time she may become just a distant memory, but I know she will be the reason for one of the biggest scars on my heart for the rest of my life. its saddens me that I can't picture her face anymore, remember her voice, or how it felt to hold her hand anymore. she wasn't perfect...she was human...she did what she thought was best for her...I have learned to live with that. I just hope my heartache was worth it to her. I just hope no one ever breaks her heart like she broke mine.

[Reels]

Of course so much happens in our life, there are disappointments in just every path of life. It just depends how seriously you take them, and how much you were attached.

[Justaguy30]

I am sure she still thinks about you from time to time as well. Its always easier to leave someone else when you already have another one lined up which shows how insecure she is. Getting dumped or leaving someone and then being alone and dealing with the pain and learning to get over it takes a very strong person. Cheers and I hope you find someone else amazing. I also get the voice thing, I love my ex's voice oh man!! haha