youngbutoldsoul Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Breakup 1.5 years ago, been in NC 1 year 3 months. Just thought I would share this to everyone on a strange, yet novel way I finally let go of him: "Today, September 15th 2014, I took a detour on my drive home. The curves and angles of every street I drove through still carved crisp like our memories. It was a much contemplated decision, but one I knew I had to take. On one hand, I painfully yearn for the past. On another hand, I have to fulfill my purpose in life, this reality and the realities that have yet to unfold. This gaping hole consumed me for the past seventeen months since you've been gone. To achieve the interface between these two dilemmas, I chose to revisit the place we used to meet half way. I relived every street turn, every blinker, and every gasp of surrealism that I was approaching closer to seeing you again. So there. In front of this train station like many years ago, I parked. Waiting. Watching every passenger that leaves the station, knowing deep down that I'll drive away alone, but still choosing to falsely tug this string of hope. I still feel excited like a little kid, heavy with joy in my stomach, the same feeling of anticipation, tipping the peak of euphoria as I feel your presence heavier from the distance. But...you're just a ghost now. My face grew hotter and wetter until I could no longer see from sobbing. But somehow amidst my grievance, I found peace. It was almost like standing on the border of the past and present world and finally making sense of the two. I whispered goodbye a few dozen times as I finally mustered the strength to leave the station. I love you. So so much, far beyond my human capacity to understand. I only want the best that this world has to offer you, even without me, even if I'm just some vague memory to you. Always, yours" 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Wow. Yes!!! Freedom. Big life awaits...go grab it!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Nicely written. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 (edited) I, just like you am currently at 1.5yrs post breakup or within the vicinity. I did something a week ago that that put so much into perspective. In reality its something that I've been meaning to "accomplish" for a very long time since day one post breakup. I'm still debating between this discovery leaving me with pain or mere discomfort in bringing myself up to speed and keeping up with reality. Truth is, I have moved on, I have proactively contributed towards my recovery and accomplished so many goals in this past 1.5years. I have done so much for myself and did not remain stagnant. I think now I'm making the conscious decision to end this vicious cycle and let it go once and for all, I'm exhausted, I don't want it anymore. There is more to life than this. I want to put the past to rest once and for all and move on with my life and be the person I used to be, full of life, smiling at everyone and happy to wake up just another day, I want that again, I want to rediscover myself. It's still a work in progress even after 1.5 years I stand where I stand for a reason and that's perfectly fine. I'm in charge and chose to move on with my life, no need to waste time trying to remain attached to something that no longer exists, to something that ended 1.5 years ago. It's time for me to continue on with my journey and not look back. Edited September 17, 2014 by JDPT Link to post Share on other sites
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