I don't know how to cope...

[mafia1]

Now.... i just need to post a new topic here.

 

Long story short - had a relationship for 4 years with ups and downs, multiple break-ups and stuff. She left me for her ex in the first year and i walked away but then she came back begging me to be with her so i decided to forgive. She told me that she understood what she did was not right and won't do it again, ever.

 

Now 3 years later tables have turned and before we broke up again i felt that her feelings for me became cold but i blamed it on other reasons.

Today i found out that she left me for another guy she had a crush on from the past. They tried back then but things didn't worked out because they had so much different lives. They still do now though.

 

I feel like i've been living a lie the whole time because now i'm not actually sure that she even loved me the whole time. I keep wondering did she thought about him the whole time. She did tell me that she won't do it again but she did. I asked her recently if there is another man and she told me no.

 

She lied to me again. I feel betrayed.

 

I don't know what the heck is she thinking because back then the things between them didn't worked out because they have a very different lives. Now that don't seem to be changed and from what i saw and heard he do not want her, not for a relationship. I don't know how could you left your soulmate for 4 years for another man that do not even want to be with you?

 

I've been 5 days of NC and got slightly better but today i found out for sure that she left me for him and i lost it all again. She never told me for him actually, i figured it out myself.

 

Help me to cope because i don't know what to do, what to feel, how to move on with my life.

I was just fine yesterday but today i'm a complete mess again, my whole body is shaking, i am nervous, sad....

 

Back then she broke NC to contact me after things didn't worked out with him (i found out later) and we got together again. What if she do it again?

[spiderowl]

I'm sorry to hear what happened and you are right to feel betrayed. Not all women do that, believe me.

 

I too have had bad experiences with people who turned out to be untrustworthy and whose behaviour was shocking but mostly cowardly. It does hurt and maked you question everything about yourself and them.

 

Generally, trusting someone who has already broken your trust once is not a good idea.. There is bound to be a raised risk of them doing something similar again. You gave her a chance and she was not worthy of it.

 

I know you are feeling physically shaken and hurt now. It is a most painful feeling just after a breakup shock but it will wear off. Be kind to yourself, give yourself time to recover. See your doctor if the shaking symptoms don't go soon.

 

Whatever has happened, you were not at fault. You loved a girl and she let you down. You are a good guy, prime material for someone who is worthy of your love and affection. You will go through a stage of disentangling your emotions and feelings from this woman, and I can't pretend it will be easy, but then you can move on and find someone genuine. Do not give cheating people a second chance. Do not stay with people who break serious promises. Respect yourself and your character and integrity and don't accept a woman who is unable to be as honest and decent as you are.

 

This is an experience to learn from in order to have something better next time. Just because you met one unreliable woman doesn't mean it will happen again in future. There are women out there looking for decent guys like you. Once you have got over this shock, you will be a better judge of character and know what you are looking for.

 

All the best

[Reels]

You have got enough reasons to hate her, so you already know what to do.

[Zahara]

What if she do it again?

 

She won't do it again because YOU WON'T LET HER DO IT AGAIN. Quit with being pussy whipped by this woman. Stand strong as a man and stop letting her dictate your choices.

 

Your choice is to block her on every form of communication. Your choice is to move on and heal. Your choice is to never allow someone to treat you this way again.

[Liverpool Bloke]

Don't let her change You.Trust and be prepared to love other girls when you meet them,that girl was not the norm.However trust your gut instinct next time straight away if You feel something isn't right.You sound like you were a victim of the worst kinda girl out there,me too.There has yet to be a word invented to describe just how hideously vile girls like that are.I went straight out & looked for another girl,armed with my belief that my gut instincts will save me from any wronguns.Met one,massive upgrade,early days,may work out,may not but enjoying her company and has stopped me thinking about the `creature` who tried to destroy my soul.