He drained me

[LoneSoilder]

I was his everything. He was my whole world. We fought Yes but the love we shared was so strong. We started as friends and ended as lovers. He cheated, lied, and used me throughout the entire relationship. He said he loved me more that anyone he has ever loved. I miss him dearly and even though we ended bad and he wants me to now leave him alone I can't help but love him even after all the nasty things he has done to me. I plan on doing no contact because I need to get my head back right but I can't believe how awful he has been during the break up. How can someone who has claimed to love me so treat me so poorly like I am a random person off the street? I want him to feel my absence and potentially want me back but most of all I want my heart to heal. Advice is appreciated but mostly I am looking for support. I know I have to let him go I just need help and was hoping I could come here and get the support needed and maybe people can give me insight on how to stay strong for I feel like I am I just feel that he is apart of me and I can't let go.

 

He says that he still loves me but I make him angry not sure what that means I am the one who left him and I hear from his friends that he isn't doing too good but whenever we talk he hurts me seems like purposely. Help me detox and get him out of me I'm desperate I want my mind and soul back!!

[Reels]

Why you broke up?

[todreaminblue]

Healing yourself isnt about the other person feeling your absence by no contact......it isnt about getting them back or hurting them in anyway...its meant to help heal you...people do and say things in break ups they wouldnt normally say......you have to let it go...let him heal let you heal and move on with your life ....dont waste time thinking about how to potentially get him back you arent concentrating on healing when you do that....

 

to move on you need to forgive all the awful things he has done..forgive him...you hurt the ones you love the most.....both of you need to stop hurting each other now its over.....its a form fo self torture and obviously he is suffering from what you have written probably just as much as you are....

 

 

realize the odds of you being with him again are non existent and work on who you are as a person without him in your life....you will have a wonderful life...but not while you hold on to the hurts and regrets of your past....and i speak from experience....let go.....for him and for you.....deb

[lacey2187]

Oh Lone Soilder, I feel your pain. My ex and I broke up almost a week ago. He is yet to collect his things and its so painful seeing all his suitcases packed. I come home and see them there but I feel relief, theres still a link to him. I don't know how I am going to deal when those suitcases are no longer.

 

 

"I was his everything. He was my whole world. We fought Yes but the love we shared was so strong."

 

 

I could have written those words. I made my whole life revolve around my ex and that was purely my fault. I stopped going to exercise classes, seeing friends and family. I had no desire to see anyone but him. I would become upset if he wanted to do something away from me. I felt rejected and this was a cause of problems in the relationship. The more I clung the more he wanted space.

 

 

"He cheated, lied, and used me throughout the entire relationship."

 

 

I do not think my ex cheated but he was a compulsive liar. He would lie to get money from me. He would lie about where his money was "I left my wallet at work". I constantly footed the bill and he would pay be back but then borrow again. He owes me at least $400 but I will never see it.

My ex used my caring nature and abused it. I use to bring his meals to him in bed on a tray, I would lay clothes out for him, make his lunch for work, wake him up for work. He was like my baby. The baby that had a penchant for meth amphetamine and gambling. I knew he was using me but I was addicted to him.

 

 

"I can't help but love him even after all the nasty things he has done to me."

 

 

My ex lied to get money for drugs, he would lie about where he was and I would end up finding out he was never with work friends. He made me think his lies were not that big of a deal and that he didn't have a drug problem. He would admit he was bad with money but nothing changed he would spend it all on himself and hardly anything on me. I never got an apology for the lies. I broke NC last night and sent him so many abusive messages. I got no reply. This morning I felt like a fool and apologised. I am so angry I contacted him and now he knows how psycho I am about the breakup.

 

 

"I plan on doing no contact because I need to get my head back right"

 

 

this is the hardest part. I just want to know how he is, whats he been doing? does he miss me? is he truly done with me. I miss having my best friend. We spent all our time together. Now I am filling it up with people I didn't even speak to when we were together and that makes it all the more glaringly obvious that im alone and I am trying to fill up my time. that makes me feel even more alone and craving just a hug and a kiss from him.

 

 

"I just need help and was hoping I could come here and get the support needed and maybe people can give me insight on how to stay strong for I feel like I am I just feel that he is apart of me and I can't let go."

 

 

Time is the only thing that is going to heal us. Perhaps you should write down some of the truths on your relationship to give yourself some perspective.

 

 

what caused you to end up at the point of breaking up?

how did you feel in the relationship?

were you anxious? were you worrying?

did he do his best to meet your needs?

 

 

Me personally I was always anxious and had a gut feeling that something wasn't right. You have to listen to your gut. You can try and ignore it but it wont go away and its trying to guide you in the right path. Your heart is not wanting to go through the withdrawls..it wants to be happy. Just try and picture you getting back together and nothing changing. Because that's exactly what would happen, the same issues will be there.

 

 

the only other thing I can advise is exercise, I currently need to lose 10 kgs and I am motivated to look my best now, I want the next time he sees me to think oh wow she looks incredible and then have his mates saying oh your ex is so hot you should of tried harder with her buddy!!