get him/her back guides?

[ex-cat]

is there anybody bought any get him/her back guides? lots of them there and i've already paid so much money to somenoe :S If one of these guides really work, i will buy? Any advice?

[d0nnivain]

I'm sorry to hear you paid money to someone. You were scammed.

 

None of these guides work. Save your money.

[ex-cat]

nope i hadn't buy anyone, just asking if there is there any good things but i paid someone for advice via phone Thanks for alert. İ think they both use our emotional gap.

[Always Pondering]

I hope you're able to get a refund on your money.

 

As d0nnivain said, they don't exactly work. Well they might but only on boys/girls (not adults) and even if then, it's not worth it.

 

They're made with the motive to prey on the broken-hearted looking for a quick-fix out of their situation.

[Zeurich]

Is that not you to decide if he or she wants back or not? Why do you need a guide for that? Sorry me I don't do things from some ones guides I do what I feel right and not wrong things only. But I do read tips and guides from Dr Phil and not only that I read lot other stuff but regarding getting him or her back oh boy noway... don't waste your money.

[ex-cat]

Thanks both of you.

I think key sentence is "not you to decide if he wants back or not"

But you know there is already NC rule. What are you think about that? Is it an illusion to get him back?

Edited August 18, 2014 by ex-cat

[Always Pondering]

Thanks both of you.

I think key sentence is "not you to decide if he wants back or not"

But you know there is already NC rule. What are you think about that? Its a illusion to get him back?

 

Do you mean the NC rule mentioned in these online guides? If so, some of them have truth in their words but for the wrong purpose. I've often seen the guides state that NC is used to make the other person miss you and come crawling back. It's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder but using NC as a tool for manipulation will only backfire in the end.

 

You should use NC to improve your life as well as to recover to move onto new things. It's possible that years down the road, you two run into each other with different lives and are able to spark a new fire or become friends but it's also possible to win the lottery, get struck by a lightning bolt, etc.

[ex-cat]

You should use NC to improve your life as well as to recover to move onto new things. It's possible that years down the road, you two run into each other with different lives and are able to spark a new fire or become friends but it's also possible to win the lottery, get struck by a lightning bolt, etc.

 

Thanks i've already begin to change myself for myself.

[start2014]

Hi.

 

I doubt that there is a manual of how to get ex back. i think there are many parameters which decides whether ex wants to come back or not (his/her personality, hod did you broke up, does he has a tendency of coming back to ex, what was your relationship, is he/she really stubborn or has too much pride,...).

 

i think it's waste of money...and i doub that there is manual for getting them back...sometimes they do get back...but usually only for a short time...and than breaking up again is next step.

 

i would recommend you, to try to move on with your life and accept that it is over.

 

if there would be a manual to buy, there wouldnt be this website, and people wouldnt be broken all around the world every day.

 

i feel your struggle, your pain....but the time will make it more acceptable..and one day we will move through this...

[Always Pondering]

Thanks i've already begin to change myself for myself.

 

I read your story in your other thread and if I'm reading it right, I can't believe your consultant told you to "b**** mouth" your ex as advice. That's terrible advice and I don't see anything positive coming out of that. You two should keep contact ONLY limited to business if business comes up and nothing else.

 

This clarifies NC fairly well: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/470829-all-new-2014-no-contact-guide

 

If you're looking for advice, this forum is a much better place than those guides out there as well as that consultant.

[ex-cat]

I read your story in your other thread and if I'm reading it right, I can't believe your consultant told you to "b**** mouth" your ex as advice. That's terrible advice and I don't see anything positive coming out of that. You two should keep contact ONLY limited to business if business comes up and nothing else.

 

This clarifies NC fairly well: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/470829-all-new-2014-no-contact-guide

 

If you're looking for advice, this forum is a much better place than those guides out there as well as that consultant.

 

Yes that terrible advice made us completely broke-up and he deleted me from FB and want to meet me just for sex. I dont know how to fix it up But thank you so so soo much Always Pondering. You enlighten my way. Thanks.

[ex-cat]

Thanks start2014

[No Limit]

All those guides are feeble attempts into teaching someone how to manipulate their ex into getting back with them.

 

They work even less than they sell. Best to just move on, and find someone who "clicks" with you too.

[OwMyEyeball]

You can find those guides in the same aisle as the "Grow you penis 6 inches", "One secret to losing belly fat that doctors don't want you to know" and "Earn $4,875/week from home by doing absolutely nothing".

 

They're pseudo-psychology BS drafted by con artists looking to bag a quick buck from the desperation and misery of others.

[Ordinaryday]

I have browsed through a few of the free online ones and they are all useless. they offer a mixture of useless platitudes and "advice" which is nothing but mindgames -

 

for example, they commonly suggest going for strict No Contact for 30 days after the immediate breakup and then "casually" texting the dumper to say hi and ask if they want to meet up for coffee. they then say the dumper will say yes and you can then show them how much you have worked on yourself since they dumped you and they will then want you back!

 

useless advice, misleading and worse, it gives some dumpees false hope!

 

when I was MUCH YOUNGER I tried this "advice" and texted the dumper and she flat out ignored the text!

 

this kind of advice might work in VERY FEW SITUATIONS but they dont say that in their guides, they make it seem like it will work for everyone! and then if it doesnt work it will set you back and make you look like a doormat for the dumper, but the writers wont care cos they got your money!

 

in short, they are not only useless they are also potentially dangerous as they can give dumpees false hope about 'winning back' the ex, which delays their moving on.

[Arient]

Today there seems to be guides for everything, and I also spent a considerable amount of time (lucky for me it was not money) on those guides. But I started to realize that whether 2 people going back or not is up to them, not because of those guides. So when I'm here searching for "how to win my ex back" guide, my ex might be sitting there searching for "how to keep away from your ex and recover fully", there's no points It's all our decisions. But at least, it brought me some insights Now I'm just digging in guides on how to use the BU as a life motivator to change myself for the better, and guides on how to cope with the BU. It really helps, and they are free. Loveshack is a good place too

[ex-cat]

Thank you both.

actually i found a nice guide. Guide to become a new better person...maybe someone who needs to give a chance to their relationship, want to read this all before:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/272674-getting-ex-back-laws-attraction

[chados]

let me put this down for you. first of all if you want guides you can download it. second, nothing is for certain. what they basically saying is something me and many others here can tell you.

 

1. agree with the breakup meaning tell the person that youre okey and you understand what went wrong. why? the reason is very simple. its not because youre on the same page. its because "sometimes" you can actually make the person doubting what they did because they didnt really leave you. you agreed to it, meaning you make them feel jealous that youre going for someone else. this works often if youre young but the problem is that if they want you back you will take them back instantly making both of you go back to where you left off. the problem here is that nothing has changed and the attraction the person had for you will fade once again.

 

2. be busy, wait a long time before answering and make them think that they are not on your mind anymore. same reason as number 1.

 

3. pretend to be happy and make them feel like you didnt loose anything but they did. because even if they dumped you they might still have a hard time. get a haircut, new cloths. make yourself look like a new person and a more confident person. cause she doesnt want the old one for now.

 

thats pretty much it. you see the big problem is that youre lying. and you have to put on a scene that might make you feel uncomfortable if they dont give you the attention. you can also get the feeling that they care when they dont cause youre so in to this getting her back. worst thing for you is if this dosnt work out. then youre gonna walk around for an even longer time feeling depressed and sad.

 

if someone leaves you its not your job getting them back. there are others out there and even if you dont want to hear it its true. work on yourself instead for yourself. and maybe they will come back, maybe you can forgive her. and maybe you got what it takes to keep that person and vice versa. but most likely you'll be over them when you start feeling good again.

[Always Pondering]

Thank you both.

actually i found a nice guide. Guide to become a new better person...maybe someone who needs to give a chance to their relationship, want to read this all before:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/272674-getting-ex-back-laws-attraction

 

The gist of it (from what I skimmed, I didn't read it entirely) was to love yourself and move on in life which is good. I've read several books on the Law of Attraction and while I agree with most of this post, I don't necessarily agree with this part:

 

5) AFTER YOU'VE SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED ALL OF THIS, GIVE HER A CALL AND SUGGEST LUNCH OR COFFEE.

 

If they want to make a reconciliation they will make it known to you. You could end up meeting them only to find out they're still not interested or are currently in a relationship. I'm not trying to sound pessimistic, it's just what I've seen more of compared to success with these meet-ups.

[MissBee]

No guide can help you get your ex back. Sorry to say. These people simply prey on the vulnerability and desperation of the heartbroken.

 

I would rather focus on guides that help you to process a breakup and how to not embarrass yourself or do anything rash during it than getting your ex back guides.

 

 

Many breakups are better off that way. I've experienced it. I came to LS initially because of a breakup and I SWORE my ex and I were meant to be and I needed to get back with him (he broke up with me), that was about 5 years ago and I absolutely do NOT want to be with him now, he got married to someone else maybe a year or so ago and I don't care and I'm in a new relationship. But back then, I was just so convinced I needed him back. All that to say it's often a normal feeling but I'd focus on not getting caught up in those feelings.

[mtsuper]

Unfortunately I was one of those vulnerable stupid people that bought a guide o how to get your ex back and he gist of them though is basically to do NC for 30 days and convey that your completely fine without them althoguth I wouldn't say I wasted my money because there were insights in them to make myself a better person that I hadn't learned before to make myself better if she does come back or doesn't so I wouldn't necessarily say its a ease of money if its for self improvement as well but they say ignore her for 30 days work on yourself make youelf a better person things like that I go with some of those things but I'm not gonna contact her in 30 days I will wait until she makes an before because sometimes a month of NC just doesn't cut it and although she threw little things in there after 2 weeks of NC I did say that I am fine after she wanted to see if I was okay I would just say go with your heart honestly and don't listen to everything these guides say and do what you feel is best for you because if its real they will come back don't look for guides for them to come back lol for guides to make you a better person

[chados]

I have to agree and disagree with the last posters. There are definitely steps that will work better in the majority of relationships. But that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. They are right though that ever relationship is different. But I think we can all agree that chasing is almost always a way to push then away. Best you can do is to focus on yourself and if they come back make them work hard for it. If you're easy to get they will most likely break up again. Getting someone back isn't always that hard. Keeping them is.

 

By the way. If this would work. Would you improve yourself for your partner even if you haven't done anything wrong?, or would you do it to make the next relationship easier? Think about that for a moment. Your answer might not be the same now as it will further on.

Edited August 20, 2014 by chados

[ex-cat]

I don't necessarily agree with this part:

 

 

 

If they want to make a reconciliation they will make it known to you. You could end up meeting them only to find out they're still not interested or are currently in a relationship. I'm not trying to sound pessimistic, it's just what I've seen more of compared to success with these meet-ups.

 

Completely agree with you Always Pondering. Maybe that said because if improve yourself no need to want your ex back anymore but your comments and notes really show me what was mistakes that i'd done.

 

It also made me realize how i was looking in the first time that he liked me.

Confident, independent,...

It might be seem a big reward to gain that kind of someone's love.But time passed and seen my smooth hearth, without walls, like lovebird, and changed for himself, and give whole control of my life. These made me descend. And loop begun. I tried to gain his love by begging, that made me more descend,so on....that guide and of course your comments open my eyes.

 

So NC is okay if you try to get yourself back and add good things, or try to be a better person. But actually they must name it : eternal NC

 

And sure agree Chados. chasing makes us guarantee. I guess key point is, if you give your power of life to someone and love him/her more than yourself, you'll ruin everything. Because they have you, because they dont need try to won you.

 

About changing...articles dnot mean "be ex's ideal woman/man", it says improve yourself for YOUR ideal...

I stick NC (2weeks passed) for him...Of course i still want him back(sooo much). And this changing seems to for him AGAIN,... but in the core of this improvement, i know, when i take me back from him, when i take the power again... whether i change for him or for myself,it will be the best thing for me...

After this period i know i wont forget him(as like as mtsuper) but i know wont hurt as before...Then maybe i will send mail, but when that time comes who will care that mail Although i want to send an e mail sorry for my mistakes and say goodbye to him. I dont know, maybe it will be a mistake again but i need to go on my life somehow. you know “Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.”

 

thanks both of you again, and sorry for my English :S

[chados]

youre english is fine. even if there is and i havent noticed any bad grammar. language doesnt matter as long as y cn undrstad wht im saying right?

 

 

who cares if you want him back. weve all been there. forget about listening to everything other people says. it doesnt work like that. if you wake up one morning and think im gonna call him. theres little we can do to stop you. listen. if i would be in your shoes and especially if i never been in that situation before i would go make my self look awesome. buy some nice cloths and get a haircut. be different. if he/she would have seen me i would smile say hello and continue walking.

 

thing is. you feel better this way then sitting home wearing the same cloths eating icecream if you know what im saying. the egoboost is amazing too. just to know that you look different and happy makes them wonder. what the heck was that. but dont shove it in his face. if you see him you do. dont stalk him or go somewhere because he's there.

 

then if he comes back. if time goes by youre gonna be done with him trust me. if not at least let him work like crazy for you. control the relationship. not saying tell him what he can and cant do. just know what you want and stand up for yourself.

[ex-cat]

youre english is fine. even if there is and i havent noticed any bad grammar. language doesnt matter as long as y cn undrstad wht im saying right?

 

 

who cares if you want him back. weve all been there. forget about listening to everything other people says. it doesnt work like that. if you wake up one morning and think im gonna call him. theres little we can do to stop you. listen. if i would be in your shoes and especially if i never been in that situation before i would go make my self look awesome. buy some nice cloths and get a haircut. be different. if he/she would have seen me i would smile say hello and continue walking.

 

thing is. you feel better this way then sitting home wearing the same cloths eating icecream if you know what im saying. the egoboost is amazing too. just to know that you look different and happy makes them wonder. what the heck was that. but dont shove it in his face. if you see him you do. dont stalk him or go somewhere because he's there.

 

then if he comes back. if time goes by youre gonna be done with him trust me. if not at least let him work like crazy for you. control the relationship. not saying tell him what he can and cant do. just know what you want and stand up for yourself.

 

omg i always take attention to my looking(always praised )

tomorrow morning i'll go out for work with nightdress or pajamas, it will be different

 

but you're right about happiness. My face is cold as ice :S I saw him many times. He was cheerful and smiled to me ( i turned my face not because of feel angry or careless but sadness). In a short time later he came to our office place for work and checked out if i was looking at him... but i refused eye contact again :S but he deserved that...yes i'll try to be fun,energetic etc. and not interested one. if he wants to change his mind, he will, nothing about what i say or write, will change his mind. btw i dont want to be the one who says hello first, but if not say so, he thinks i am still in care and blue. If i will , then he thinks still have chance to join my life whenever he wants. I am confused better to runaway from him