Mary Oak Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Does anyone else have imaginary reconciliation conversations in their minds, or am I just crazy? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
STM206 Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Yes. I think a lot of us have that fantasy that plays out in our head. Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Yes and I assure you its a waste of time. Is there anything you can say that will change their minds? If they were a strong enough character to walk away, then they are probably determined that their view is correct, and therefore its unlikely anything you say will alter that view. And usually to fall out of love takes time or another person. I'd imagine 90% of the time its another person. Someone new is going to be more exciting than the old, its why materialism sells so well. I honestly think if you can move on, forgive and forget them. But it all depends on the circumstances. Some people may need to have contact and have a big argument to see there is no chance of reconciliation. But if you're going to do this, do it sooner, so you can move on. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Oak Posted May 2, 2014 Author Share Posted May 2, 2014 We have both already said everything that needs to be said. I see no further communication necessary or advantageous. Today is just hard for some reason, harder than the others. I am 43 days LC, and today has been so much harder than the rest. Not necessarily in wanting to break no contact, but just the whole situation sucks! Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 yes, we all get those days. Get out, do something, take your mind off of it. Even if its watching a comedy. Get humour back in your life. Good luck. Day -999999999999999999999999 of the rest of your life (not technically accurate ) Link to post Share on other sites
realfriends Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Sometimes, late at night they pop in my head (I've been sleeping to music lately to get them out). I would realize though in my conversation, I would bring up the old, and not leave the past in the past. It made me realize that I'm not ready anyways if it was to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
STM206 Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Sometimes, late at night they pop in my head (I've been sleeping to music lately to get them out). I would realize though in my conversation, I would bring up the old, and not leave the past in the past. It made me realize that I'm not ready anyways if it was to happen. Get out of my head. I realized the same thing when I was going for a walk today. I had this image of us having a dinner and discussing everything that happened and "working through" it all. I realized I had walked a block before I tried to shift my thoughts elsewhere. Sometimes it's easy to feel like we've loss out marbles doesn't it? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 Yes, but think about it. Would you really want to be back with them? For whatever reason you split, there would not be an equality in the relationship any more. You would always be worrying whether what you were doing would cause a split. You will meet somebody new if you want. For now, do things that would attract you. E.g. If they improved their physique, had finished a course or got a better job, would you be more attracted to them? Whatever it is, you do that. You will improve yourself and become more attractive, but more importantly, you will have less time to think about them Link to post Share on other sites
Jiivy Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 I still dream about reconciling, still imagine the conversations - I play out all the scenario where she walks back in to my life, lays down in my bed and holds my hand the way she did for the past 7 years. You're not crazy. Not by a long shot. You're in love with someone who stepped out of you life. I don't think moving on means forgetting. You don't forget something so important...but one day with enough time, I think it'll happen naturally. They'll just become somebody that you used to know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lamis Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 I fantasize about my ex (who is the one who ended it) trying to get back with me, but telling her all the reasons why I could never be with her again after everything she did to me and how badly she has hurt me. Probably also not healthy, but at least I'm not longing for reconciliation, I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Always Pondering Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 You're not crazy and none of us are, it's a very normal thing I'm sure. It can keep happening for a very long time but you and I both know that it'll eventually go away. Nowadays, I will admit I have imaginary scenarios where we sit next to each other on a bench at the park and stare into the water, laughing at how ridiculous we both were and agreeing to be friends with a deal that one of us would say something and we would back out if someone had feelings again. But, that's fantasy and won't happen. I still fantasize about us talking casually, but not anymore about holding hands/relationship reconciliation. On the bright side of things, we all here know things will get better and I just keep that in mind for motivation when I start feeling down. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FredJones80 Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 On the bright side of things, we all here know things will get better and I just keep that in mind for motivation when I start feeling down. What if it isn't and it's like ground hog day for the rest of our lives Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 (edited) Sure did. But it was never more than that; a fantasy of how things could have been, could have turned out better if people would have behaved differently and above all, communicated. But that's just not the way things are, and in the end, we'll never know what would have been if. Edited May 4, 2014 by No Limit 2 Link to post Share on other sites
camelbakx Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 I did/I do. He's my first love, so there's always that "what if?" and those questions, and sometimes I fantasize that we get back together in the most dramatic way but that's all they are is fantasies. There's bigger and better out there. Link to post Share on other sites
redbaron005 Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.. These conversations are just part of the healing process. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Always Pondering Posted May 5, 2014 Share Posted May 5, 2014 What if it isn't and it's like ground hog day for the rest of our lives I wouldn't want to live on that planet whichever one you're talking about... I'd probably go looney-crazy by now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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