Forever Learning Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Anyhow, I am having a bit of a rough day. I googled an old love. I suspected he had gotten married, and he had. I saw their pictures. He has done well, she looks to be a very nice, fun, and beautiful lady, from the pictures I saw. I was with him off and on since I was 19 and he was 25. I am now 45, and he is 50. I feel a bit sad. Wondering if I should have given him the chance when he wanted to marry me. He was the best lover I ever had. I enjoyed so much about him. He taught me so much, more than any other person on this Earth, he gave me food for thought, especially about things of a spiritual and mystic nature. But there were things that I had my doubts about. I wonder if I was too fearful in not giving him a full chance. Was this an error on my part, my lack of 'going for it' when we had the chances to be together. I don't think so, I don't think it was meant to be. But I sure miss the great sexual chemistry we had. And the other fun aspects of being around him as well. He has a great sense of humor. Such a different person than anyone else I have ever encountered. I was very attracted to him. I guess I am bummed. He belongs to someone else now. Will they be happy? Will I be happy with someone in the future? I guess I am wondering if I will ever have that type sexual chemistry with another man. I hope so, but I just don't know. I know there is much more to life than sexual chemistry of course. I didn't mean to make this all about sex. It's just that we had great chemistry in that area especially. Ah well. I am happy for him. I am also a bit worried this will get me a bit depressed having seen their pictures. I am trying to shake it off. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 I get the trying to shake it off FL, just try and not look at it as a regret. I had a similar experience once with a different outcome as your search. In the late 80's I lived with a girl for a year and we were the best of friends, did everything together and got along great, we camped, boated and just had a ball... Well... we broke up.. she moved from my house to a friends and later on ( years) had 3 kids (a set of twins) from a couple of other guys.. We re-connected and tried again.. it didn't work.. a week after trying I told her goodbye for good, there was just too many hurt feelings and water under the bridge that made it so a future would never be there. Well I googled her one day after I went thru my divorce and up popped a newspaper article from her hometown in a different state, she was being interviewed. The article was about the mission in her home town cooking Thanksgiving meals for the unfortunate and here she was being interviewed as she was there eating her Thanksgiving meal and she said to the reporter "If it wasn't for the mission cooking these meals for all of us I'd be at home right now warming up a hot dog". I felt like shiot for weeks after reading it and wished I had never googled her, I found out she was poor, not homeless but couldn't afford to have a Thanksgiving meal in her home, I wondered about her kids too but there was no mention of her children who would be in their teens by the time the article was written... SO Forever Learning... don't be upset about what you found out, at least it didn't make you feel like a heel for breaking up with him.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 It's easy to second guess our decisions. Two things: We do our best with the information we have at the time.It sounds as if there were valid reasons for your reservations, FL. Who knows what the future holds? We can't predict the future, but you're upbeat and positive. You'll probably meet someone who knocks your socks off. Still, I know how you feel. I've second guessed a couple of my dating decisions too! We're human. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Forever Learning Posted April 16, 2014 Author Share Posted April 16, 2014 Thanks guys for the great insight!! Well sometimes all it takes is a good night's sleep to have a great new perspective and I do feel much better today than I did during my somewhat melancholy little pity party yesterday I remember moreso many of the reasons that I was hesitant to dive into a full blown relationship with him, and those reasons were valid. So it's all good. Thank you both VERY MUCH for the very thoughtful anecdotes of your personal similar experience (Art Critic) and pep talk (Angel Eyes). I really appreciate it! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Hey, FL! "what might have been" is 100% normal and common and you wouldn't be human if those thoughts never crossed your mind Glad to see you didn't dwell on it or let it bother you too much. Good to remind yourself that the past is often viewed through rose-tinted glasses, who knows if he's any fun or sexually healthy nowadays. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted April 16, 2014 Share Posted April 16, 2014 Glad you're feeling better today! I had my own pity party on Saturday. Thankfully, it passes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 Glad you're feeling better today! I had my own pity party on Saturday. Thankfully, it passes. Yep, sometimes you gotta indulge in one though, no shame Link to post Share on other sites
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