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Talking and hanging out with my ex again


BlindRage

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So to the people that remember me I I started talking to my ex again. I made it clear to her that my intentions were only platonic so she started talking back to me. This went on for a while and then we decided to meet up and since she lives far I told her she's welcomed to stay the weekend. So she did. What happened is we slept in the same bed and cuddled the weekend. When she left we kissed. i didn't read much into it. Then the weekend after that we decided to hang out again and she spent the weekend at my house again, (I told her she was welcome to again). We again cuddled and kissed that weekend. So it was a good couple of weekends I admit. Let me include this she also added onto when we cuddled one night thats it woul be cute to have a baby so it can have my dimples etc etc?

 

On the drive to the train station we hold hands and she starts talking about about dating other people. Which made it highly uncomfortable for me and I released her hand and just kept saying "yea" to everything in an emotionless tone.

 

The next day she texts me telling me she forgot her iPod at my house so we talk about her coming again in a few weeks. Then I text her jokingly "why did you leave?" and she responds with "do ou miss me?" and I truly did so i said yea. To which she didn't respond. So I wait a bit and sent her a text asking her the same question and she just says "i suppose so. But I like to live in the moment but it was nice hanging out anyways". It confused me and it seems that she just shuts down from me completely. I dont think I want to hang out with her of see her again anymore. I'm tired of girls and how they seem to Be so indecisive when it comes to me.

 

I suggested that if she wanted her iPod back it's no problem with me to just ship it to her but she declined to that saying we will hang out soon so she can just get it when she comes here. I'm dreading it but don't want to be rude since I agreed to her coming again earlier

 

 

 

I'm lost yet again. Im also confused as to how even take this situation. Does anyone have any idea on what could be the best solution ?

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Philosoraptor

So she needed a confidence boost and made sure you wanted her, without giving you the same. You want her but she doesn't want anything serious with you. Right now you need to protect your own emotions. You can't control herr actions, but you can make the choice to be with a more mature and decisive person.

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The phrases 'yanking your chain' and 'she has you firmly simmering away on the backburner' spring to mind.

 

Be upfront and direct.

 

Put the ipod in a thick envelope, write a letter and say the following:

 

"I'm sorry, I thought i was over you more than I am. It's uncomfortable being with you, feeling the way i do.

I need to really get my head around the fact that you are off-limits, unavailable, and very firmly ny ex-.

I'm going no contact.

Please find your iPod enclosed.

It was a mistake getting back in touch with you.

there can be no friendship - platonic or otherwise - while there are still feelings there.

 

Please don't reply, as i don't want to be rude by ignoring you."

 

If she can be glib, dismissive and off-hand with your questions, you have every right to lay it down flat for her.

 

DO IT!!

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People and their pathetic games. As I'm sure you remember this is the same person who treated you so badly you ended up in the hospital... don't get suckered in again buddy after all the healing you've done.

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I'm lost yet again. Im also confused as to how even take this situation. Does anyone have any idea on what could be the best solution ?

 

I agree with TaraMaiden. I would ship the Ipod back and be done with her.

Go NC for good.

 

It is the same old story with an ex wanting an ego boost and when they get it, they have no use for you.

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If you're going to state that your intentions are platonic, then stick to it. You're the only one playing games here, and with yourself. If you know you can't stomach being close to her, then don't set boundaries that you know you cannot keep. You state platonic, the you break your own rule and then you're upset when your feelings are not reciprocated.

 

Remove yourself. If you are still emotional, don't try to talk yourself into believing that you aren't.

 

She's very clear in where she stands. You weren't. You have to decide if you can keep pretending that it doesn't hurt you or you can be upfront and tell her it's not what you can bear right now. Speak up and be honest and cut the cord.

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Thank you all for the responses.

 

They are the logical kick I needed.

 

As I've mentioned my intentions were strictly platonic but it is just hard to resist the touch of the women I loved. It's starting to take its toll on me. I'm considering every respond I have received and take them in to account in what I do next. I will post as soon as something happens to give an update

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