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Its been over two years still miss him think about him all the time


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

Old 24th November 2011, 1:51 PM   #1
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Its been over two years......

What is wrong with me? I still think about him everyday and miss him. We broke up about 2 years ago and stopped talking for about a year and 3 months now. It was all by my choice to stop talking. It still bothers me and often I wish i could talk to him and be on friendly turns. The truth is I still love him and miss him all the time. Here is the sticky part... 1 month after i stopped talking to him he met someone else. 2 months after that they got engaged. now they are married. I feel it wouldn't be right for me to contact him under any circumstances. But i don't know if i need closure or what it is.. but it still hurts. I cant believe he got married to someone so quickly. It was a complete turn around for him. I remember him telling me after we broke up being single isn't what he thought it was going to be. I think i created such a void that he seeked to fill quickly. What does everyone think?

I also feel a lot of guilt. I look back on some of the things i did and feel awful for them almost like i want to apologize. I have reflected so much on this that I started looking to what i did wrong. The self anger over letting him get away and letting all this happens is painful

Last edited by Confused728; 24th November 2011 at 5:02 PM..
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Old 24th November 2011, 5:13 PM   #2
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For me it has been more than a year that my ex-bf and I broke-up and a year of no contact.
Like you I also cut all contact.
I couldn't bear the way he treated me as a friend and acted like we didn't belong together or any other reason.
Yes, I also still miss him and even thought about him on my pillow before I went to sleep.
But this time, it didn't hurt quite as much, I accepted that he was not with me anymore.
He has another girl that is maybe comforting him.
Secretly, I hope he thinks about me too.
So basically, it's normal that you're feeling that way Confused.
If our exes were still together with us, would be miss them like we miss them now ?
We want what we can't have. And now some other woman has them.
Okay, your ex is married and mine might be thinking about marrying also.
But I'm prepared for that day.
We decided to let them go and yes we do feel a lot of guilt.
But that's part of growing and making choices.
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Old 24th November 2011, 7:02 PM   #3
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It's approaching 3 years for me. I am ok, but have recently reopened the wounds.
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Old 24th November 2011, 7:56 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused728 View Post
What is wrong with me? I still think about him everyday and miss him. We broke up about 2 years ago and stopped talking for about a year and 3 months now. It was all by my choice to stop talking. It still bothers me and often I wish i could talk to him and be on friendly turns. The truth is I still love him and miss him all the time. Here is the sticky part... 1 month after i stopped talking to him he met someone else. 2 months after that they got engaged. now they are married. I feel it wouldn't be right for me to contact him under any circumstances. But i don't know if i need closure or what it is.. but it still hurts. I cant believe he got married to someone so quickly. It was a complete turn around for him. I remember him telling me after we broke up being single isn't what he thought it was going to be. I think i created such a void that he seeked to fill quickly. What does everyone think?

I also feel a lot of guilt. I look back on some of the things i did and feel awful for them almost like i want to apologize. I have reflected so much on this that I started looking to what i did wrong. The self anger over letting him get away and letting all this happens is painful
have you had relationships since this breakup?
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Old 24th November 2011, 10:46 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Confused728 View Post
What is wrong with me? I still think about him everyday and miss him. We broke up about 2 years ago and stopped talking for about a year and 3 months now. It was all by my choice to stop talking. It still bothers me and often I wish i could talk to him and be on friendly turns. The truth is I still love him and miss him all the time. Here is the sticky part... 1 month after i stopped talking to him he met someone else. 2 months after that they got engaged. now they are married. I feel it wouldn't be right for me to contact him under any circumstances. But i don't know if i need closure or what it is.. but it still hurts. I cant believe he got married to someone so quickly. It was a complete turn around for him. I remember him telling me after we broke up being single isn't what he thought it was going to be. I think i created such a void that he seeked to fill quickly. What does everyone think?

I also feel a lot of guilt. I look back on some of the things i did and feel awful for them almost like i want to apologize. I have reflected so much on this that I started looking to what i did wrong. The self anger over letting him get away and letting all this happens is painful

He wouldn't have maintained any post-relationship interest in you at all had he not wanted to be back in your arms. Once you finally 'convinced' him that you seemingly wanted nothing to do with that, he then directed his attention 'out there' in the world and found somebody else...
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Old 24th November 2011, 11:03 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by SincereOnlineGuy View Post
He wouldn't have maintained any post-relationship interest in you at all had he not wanted to be back in your arms. Once you finally 'convinced' him that you seemingly wanted nothing to do with that, he then directed his attention 'out there' in the world and found somebody else...
Hmm.. Not so sure about that one..
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Old 25th November 2011, 3:33 AM   #7
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Have not had a relationship since. No one interest me nor do I feel same for anyone that I did him
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Old 25th November 2011, 3:50 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by BigDumbFoot View Post
Originally Posted by SincereOnlineGuy http://www.loveshack.org/forums/imag...s/viewpost.gif
He wouldn't have maintained any post-relationship interest in you at all had he not wanted to be back in your arms. Once you finally 'convinced' him that you seemingly wanted nothing to do with that, he then directed his attention 'out there' in the world and found somebody else...

Hmm.. Not so sure about that one..
Is 'no contact' also valid as a way of giving the signal to your ex that you don't want to reconcile ?

And when they do 'move on' with another person... isn't it saying like 'look, i have moved on...'.

What would happen if you make contact again with them ?
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