strangeways Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 I've been feeling good for a while now, pretty much felt that I'd moved on, but today I just feel incredibly lonely. It's been 6 months since me and my most recent ex and I split but I'm thinking about her all over again. Here's the reason: My wife (who I'm separated from and not my most recent ex) is going for a job interview over 200 miles away next week (she's never failed to get a job she's interviewed for) which means my kids could be moving. Currently they live round the corner from me and I have them two nights a week and every other weekend. Not sure how I'm going to cope if they move. Her SO comes from that area but is living in London so I don't know if that's anything to do with it. I know there's various issues surrounding the security of her current job as well. I've never had a problem with my wifes partner (they practically live together) or any issues with a partner of hers "taking over" as the father figure to my kids but that's because I see them so often and I know that I'm a great dad and have a great relationship with them. But the thought of only being able to see them a few days a month is killing me. I guess it's times like these you miss someone to talk to, someone close that understands and is there for you and has your best interests at heart. My friends have been great but it's not the same and after a while you feel like you're burdening them. They've got their own lives to lead. I so want to talk to my most recent ex right now but I know I can't. It's not her problem anymore. I know nothing about her life anymore; where she lives, what she's doing, who she's with. I wanted to reactivate my facebook and unblock her just to see her page. I defriended and blocked her and deactivated my account the day after she ended it 6 months ago and haven't looked since. I won't do it of course. Just have the urge to. Luckily, meeting up with a couple of friends tonight for a drink. Hopefully that will distract me. I know some parents have it far worse than me in terms of access to their children and the reality is that people move all the time for work and hey, that's just how life is. But I'm just very anxious about it at the moment. It's so f***king annoying. I was doing really well. Now I feel like s**t. Just venting. Sorry for the length and sorry if it's a bit all over the place and doesn't make sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Fern Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Poor Strangeways. You know that this isn't about your ex at all - it's about your kids. Plus you don't even know if your ex-wife will get the job. No point stressing about it until it becomes FACT. This is a hard economy - your ex-wife will have tougher competition than she has in the past. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that she completely FLUNKS it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangeways Posted March 4, 2011 Author Share Posted March 4, 2011 Poor Strangeways. You know that this isn't about your ex at all - it's about your kids. Plus you don't even know if your ex-wife will get the job. No point stressing about it until it becomes FACT. This is a hard economy - your ex-wife will have tougher competition than she has in the past. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that she completely FLUNKS it. Thanks Fern. Always nice to hear from you. I understand its not about the ex per se. She just happens to be my last "object" of comfort and intimacy. And yes, I need to wait and see what happens. While I'm pretty laid back most of the time, uncertainty over seeing the kids does tend to unsettle me somewhat. Deep breaths and beer I think. Link to post Share on other sites
melenkurion Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 It's totally understandable that you are feeling bad about having less contact with your kids, they are the most important thing in your life. You also get it in your mind that it's not really going to help to get in contact with your most recent ex. It's pretty much guaranteed that that would make you feel worse, and you aren't deluded about that. Have lots of fun tonight, I hope it all works out well for you. You sound like you are doing really well. This is just a small setback, and with very good reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Author strangeways Posted March 4, 2011 Author Share Posted March 4, 2011 It's totally understandable that you are feeling bad about having less contact with your kids, they are the most important thing in your life. You also get it in your mind that it's not really going to help to get in contact with your most recent ex. It's pretty much guaranteed that that would make you feel worse, and you aren't deluded about that. Have lots of fun tonight, I hope it all works out well for you. You sound like you are doing really well. This is just a small setback, and with very good reason. Yes, it's one of those things. She pops into my head when I get emotional about other things in my life. To be honest I've been doing really well recently with only brief thoughts of her. I would NEVER get in touch with her about problems in my life. How weird would that be. It'd be like going up to a stranger in the street and unburdening myself on them. Link to post Share on other sites
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