turokturok5 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 It was a 2 month relationship and its been 1 month since break-up. Out of 28 days i've been NC for atleast 20, the other times i saw her in person were pretty much un-avoidable. If i leave it any longer, if she hasn't already, she'll moved on. I don't really feel that going into NC and improving yourself physically and mentally is the right way to et an ex back (although its not the reason you go into NC) because if they do come back, they won't be coming back for the love you had before and you can start again with someone else, as a changed person and not have that past experience behind you. And ultimately i do want my ex back, so NC obviously isn't the right path for me. She dumped me for apparently being too clingy, so yes, going NC may benefit me, but thats just who i am and im not going to change the fact that i like to show affection to my partner. I really thought that she dumped me because of two events that happened a week before our break-up, i got a little angry, she got a little pissed off, but i've had 1 month to think about it and realised it wasn't just because of this. I think her vision of clingy comes from the fact that i frequently texted/called/messaged her when something went wrong and i over-reacted to situations and i know i've changed in these fields. If im wrong and she dumped me for being physically clingy (wanting to hold her and such) then it's her loss. Im going to ask her out somewhere to talk. She may not accept, as i did this 2 days after we broke up and pretty much begged her to take me back, but the reasons i was apologizing for were part of a bigger picture and i was kind of desperate. If she accepts, ill just tell her that i know where i went wrong, that i've changed, that if she doesn't have feelings for me thats fine ill move on, if she does still have slight feelings for me then maybe we can work something out. If she doesn't agree on meeting me then shes moved on, if she does, but says it can't happen then shes moved on and ill move on myself, as the reason of me being too clingy will still stand and it will be her loss. AFTER i talk to her, ill go into strict NC, ill go to the gym be more out-going, pretty much change myself physically and mentally, and then if she comes back i'll tell her to go play with herself, as she wouldn't be coming back for ME she'll be coming back for a new person. All i need now is a method to contact her. I was thinking a text, but she has no credit, or when i bump into her at uni, ask her then or would it be alright if i re-added her on facebook then asked her on chat (i deleted her a few weeks ago) Link to post Share on other sites
GreenPolicy Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Closure is something only you can get for yourself. You are lucky. Your ex was kind enough to tell you EXACTLY why you got dumped. Most times when a woman dumps a man, it's because he either slacked off and got too comfortable in the relationship and she wasn't getting her emotional/physical needs met, or he smothers her and gets needy and clingy. Your ex told you you were clingy, and that is a very common reason guys get dumped. The reality is, your ex has lost attraction to you and it's highly unlikely she will feel that way about you again. Only by going NC and showing her you don't need her do you have any chance of reversing that. But most likely what will happen is you will end up using NC to heal and then you'll meet somebody else who will knock your socks off. If you can handle a friendship with her and seeing her with another guy, then you don't have to do NC. But if you can't handle seeing her date other guys, then you have to go NC. Meeting with her is not going to change anything at this point. It's hard, but but you've got to move on. You at least have been given a roadmap for how to improve your next relationship. Be grateful to your ex for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author turokturok5 Posted March 3, 2011 Author Share Posted March 3, 2011 actually she didn't tell me squat as to why i was dumped, she just told me she didn't feel the same. Her friend told me that it was because i was too clingy, so atleast if i hear it from her it'l be easier Link to post Share on other sites
GreenPolicy Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 actually she didn't tell me squat as to why i was dumped, she just told me she didn't feel the same. Her friend told me that it was because i was too clingy, so atleast if i hear it from her it'l be easier Either way you know the reason. Go ahead and meet with her, but it won't accomplish anything. Link to post Share on other sites
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