hey kiddo Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 -I love him -he is my best friend -he is still single -he was my first love -he understands me like no others -he cares about me a lot still -we 'get' each other's humor -he asks me how I am doing regularly on a weekly basis still -he gives me good, thoughtful career advise and support whenever i need (we both are workaholics). -i haven't met another guy that i can fall in love like the way I love him yet, and I would consciously or unconsciously make comparison. -there was no real convincing reason for the seperation to my understanding. (no closure? or just me being ignorant?) I tried to do NC many times..the longest was 2 weeks. Either he'll contact me or I'll contact him first. I'm waiting for the day when he tells me that he finds a gf so my heart can break heavily one last time and finally move on, is it a silly thought? I want him so badly but he doesn't want a relationship, yet he is still very much in my life everyday and want us to be bff. I love him and I feel hopeless...I want to be stronger, [slap in the face] , no more excuses! my heart aches - tears Link to post Share on other sites
sammyd Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 I'm afraid that if you don't want the hurt NC is the way to go. Until your feelings for him return to genuinely just friends, you won't be able to look at him as just a friend. You want more. He doesn't. It's really hard, and i know how you feel. How long ago did you split up? Maybe you should talk to him about the seperation? Seems like you're just in limbo with this. ((hugs)) Link to post Share on other sites
Author hey kiddo Posted February 12, 2011 Author Share Posted February 12, 2011 Thanks sammyd. I've begun to go NC starting this past sunday, and it's been 6 days now... Link to post Share on other sites
gator12 Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 Stay strong kiddo, NC is also how you go about getting him back, you can't get friendzoned until you are 100% moved on. Since no contact is good for both things you have to stick too it, and I mean really stick to it. -Gator Link to post Share on other sites
Duckduckgoose Posted February 12, 2011 Share Posted February 12, 2011 There are several excuses to keep in touch with him. But one very good reason not to. You are not together anymore. If ripping your heart out and stepping on it isn't a compelling reason to never want to see that person again I don't really know what to tell you. Link to post Share on other sites
soleharmony1123 Posted February 13, 2011 Share Posted February 13, 2011 The most compelling reason for doing NC is to get in touch with YOU and what YOU want and need. It's not about getting your Ex back. Even if you believe that you want your Ex back, you cease contact with your Ex (go NC) so that you can heal emotionally and mentally. When NC is done correctly and for the right reasons, it is very successful. When you have reached the point where you're healed and are emotionally independent from your Ex, this may be the time (not guaranteed) your Ex may decide he/she wants to come back. It's at that time you would decide whether or not you want him/her back. NC is not a tool to be used to get your Ex back (manipulation). You will not be successful, and if so, only for a short period of time. It will be just a matter of time before your Ex leaves again. There are many threads here on LS about how to implement NC effectively. Wishing you much success, Sole Link to post Share on other sites
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