headinclouds Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 I'm just wondering if anyone has any ANY words of comfort for me, a young woman, who was just told that the guy I fell in love with is gay. I don't even know where to begin...what to think....my head is in the clouds... Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 Who told you he was homosexual? How did you manage to spend time with someone and not know that they are gay? Did this young man hide his sexual preferences from you? or did you not see the signs? OMG, I feel soooo bad for you. The exact same thing happened to my mother. She fell in love with a man whom she was "dating", held off on telling him her feelings for almost a year and when she finally told him - he replied with...."I could NEVER love you! I'm gay!" This man was using my mother to provide cover from his family and friends whom he did not wish to know that he was gay. My mom was quite devestated for some time. She to this day gets a sick feeling in her stomach when she thinks of him, not because he's gay, but because he fooled her. It took a long time for her to heal; but did manage to do so. Take care, Bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 I think the very same thing has happened to Liza Minelli, as well as her mother. So, you're in good company. I also think it was the premise for the entire show of Will and Grace. Somewhere over the rainbow... Smile and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author headinclouds Posted September 13, 2003 Author Share Posted September 13, 2003 Thank you guys for replying. To answer more questions from Bubbles....HE told me he thinks he's gay.... and now he has a boyfriend. He's still in the closet and I feel touched that he could tell me but at the same time, I was a TOOL. He used me to find out if he was capable of loving a woman. Not only that, but him and I had a thing 3 summers ago too where he ended up telling me that he just wanted to be friends. He's totally a great guy...and I just happened to be around again and he used me. I have come to realize that if I was indeed a TOOL, then I guess I'm happy because he now knows what he wants in life and can finally BE HAPPY. This is hard though because I was really moving forward in this relationship and I thought he was too. But he is now discovering himself. I can't even talk about this with my family or friends because no one knows. But thank you to those who have replied. Much much appreciated to know that i'm not alone. -headinclouds Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted September 13, 2003 Share Posted September 13, 2003 I have wondered sometimes if my role on the planet is supposed to be to be an instrument for others in terms of helping out, advising, assisting, etc. After all, somebody's gotta do it, I guess.. Link to post Share on other sites
Oxydol Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 And it happens more often than people think. Many women tend to fall for gay men because they can offer so much the companionship, interests, and sensistivity that women enjoy...except for the sex, of course. Unrequited love happens on all sides of the rainbow and sometimes it even crosses it. However, this does NOT excuse gays, or the gay-curious from deliberately deceiving women as to who they are or using them as a cover to deflect any homophobic rumours. Playing with people's hearts is always a damnable offense. A word of advice to all...any guy who is confused about his sexuality and thinks it can be resolved by becoming involved with a woman is fooling himself. If he is claims he's confused or doesn't know what he is....it just means he does know, but is fighting to accept it. Headintheclouds, you're a good person and you've a good sense of the situation and hopefully you can accept that what he did was not about you, but about him. Sadly you were the one who got hurt. If in time the two of you are able to repair things that would be great. You'd have a man in your life who cares about you for you and is no longer trying to bed you. And as he enters the Land of Oz, he's going to discover that the Yellow Brick Road is full of potholes. Plus, there is the added satisfaction of eating chocolate together and discussing just what b@stards men really are. Link to post Share on other sites
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