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Ex is keeping tabs on me.... ?


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Old 24th November 2009, 9:36 AM   #1
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Ex is keeping tabs on me.... ?

Ok short version: Ex left me for a friend and co-worker of mine. They are still together. It's been 4 months. I put a tracker on my myspace blog, which I use to express myself. I found out she has been checking up on me periodically through that. What does this mean and what should I do? I'm still madly in love with her. I miss her like air in my lungs after being punched in the stomach. There has been NC since August. Any advice?
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Old 24th November 2009, 9:49 AM   #2
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Stay NC. Block her from MS/FB. Block her number. Delete your friend's number, ms and fb. You need to move on, and if you have all these things in connection with her/them you need to sever them.
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Old 24th November 2009, 9:53 AM   #3
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She is blocked on FB, there is no contact at all. I just know she is checking up on me. Why would she do that? I don't understand? Oh, he is no longer a friend either. I'm actually thinking about moving to DC because of him. But I can't help but think that if she is checking up on me, even now...there has to be something there still inside her for me.....not true?
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Old 24th November 2009, 10:03 AM   #4
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Incorrect. The thing you have to come to grips with is this: Even though she loved you before, she does this out of habit. You are no longer BF material. She has someone else. So what she does now is simply for her own ego boost.

The only thing left in her in regards to you MAY indeed be sympathy, but who has sympathy for the devil? Not I, nor anyone I know. I personally deleted my FB/MS and all that sh*t along with it because I knew my ex was keeping tabs on me, and it kept me clinging to false hope.

Let's be honest here, she went with you for a reason, which still exists. You split up, also for a reason, which also still exists. You need to realize she isn't coming back, things will never be as they were, and you will feel like sh*t for a good while because of it.


But you'll be ok. In fact, you'll be better for it in the long run.
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Old 24th November 2009, 10:11 AM   #5
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You are probably right. Just sucks because it was so good. It was almost perfect. It was everything I've ever wanted. Letting go like that is the hardest thing to do. Part of me wants her to shove her sympathy right up her ying yang. The other part wants to believe the sympathy is really the love we shared. I need to give up. Some days I do...other times, like today, the hope creeps in.
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Old 24th November 2009, 10:13 AM   #6
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When you say ego boost....what do you mean? She enjoys seeing me in pain or that she feels she is better off than me?
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Old 24th November 2009, 10:21 AM   #7
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She wants to see that what she did is having an impact; which it is. It makes her feel a bit more empowered to have a man pining over her. I've heard this sh*t right from the horses mouth before.

Everything always seems perfect. That's no different. Rarely do I read these forums without reading the following:

"She never looked at me like anyone else ever did"
"It was so different, perfect"
"It was everything I have ever wanted"

I even said that sh*t when I came here... But guess what? It's all the same. Really. You'll see. In time this will all be a laughable shadow of the past; but you need to do for you and heal first.

One thing that was hard for me was doing exactly the opposite of what I felt. Man, that was hard, coz I wanted to call and text and check up... But really it gets you nowhere. It just sets you back.

In this situation there is no logic.... It's kind of like the world flips upside down and inside out... But you will be ok. You just need to take time for you, do what YOU want, and ignore those self sympathising urges to call/text/check up on your ex. To them you are an ego boost. To you, they should simply be an obstacle (For the time being) to overcome.
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Old 24th November 2009, 10:22 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cdt76 View Post
I put a tracker on my myspace blog,
Quote:
Ex is keeping tabs on me.... ?
Who is keeping tabs on who ?.. sounds like you are keeping tabs on her too

You might want to look into that.. if you stop tracking her then you won't be bothered by her..

Simple
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Old 24th November 2009, 10:29 AM   #9
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Well, there was so many lies and falsehoods coming from the two of them I doubted that she ever really loved me to begin with. I mean who could say they love me and would do anything for me, but already be sleeping with my friend? So, I put that tracker on there to see if she ever thought about me and what she did to me. I got my answer. Believe me. Other than that, there is no contact. None. Not even with the A-hole I work with. I see him but haven't said a word to him. He knows better than to say anything to me. But I wonder why people say one thing and do another? Why dump me for him then still check on me? The why is what I don't understand because there is no pining over her. What I have written on MS is typically about what is going on in my life...doing things for me and taking the advise of LS folks here. I'm living my life and trying to find my way but usually it has nothing to do with her or what happened. So it should not be an ego boost to her. I'm just confused.
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Old 24th November 2009, 10:45 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by Art_Critic View Post
if you stop tracking her then you won't be bothered by her..

Simple
I hate quoting my own posts.. but oh well...

this is really your answer..

Pull the tracker off your page dude..let her do whatever it is that she does and just forget about her..

By scrubbing your tracking logs you are really only hurting yourself.
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Old 24th November 2009, 11:23 AM   #11
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hmmm. maybe i can talk on this for a moment. I had a bf two years ago, who i left because he had two other girlfriends while dating me. However, that didnt change the fact that i loved him. After breaking up with someone, all the feelings you have dont diminish instantly. I was still keeping tabs on him and getting upset when a girl wrote on his facebook wall and all that. BUT THAT DID NOT MEAN I WANTED HIM BACK! Infact he has been begging me for two years, i still dont want to go back. So dont mistake the fact that she keeps tabs on you for anything else. move on with your life
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Old 24th November 2009, 11:30 AM   #12
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hmmm. maybe i can talk on this for a moment. I had a bf two years ago, who i left because he had two other girlfriends while dating me. However, that didnt change the fact that i loved him. After breaking up with someone, all the feelings you have dont diminish instantly. I was still keeping tabs on him and getting upset when a girl wrote on his facebook wall and all that. BUT THAT DID NOT MEAN I WANTED HIM BACK! Infact he has been begging me for two years, i still dont want to go back. So dont mistake the fact that she keeps tabs on you for anything else. move on with your life

But there is nothing on there about any other girls or her. Nothing. So call me a cave man but I don't understand.
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Old 24th November 2009, 11:37 AM   #13
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Dude, trust me. I thought any scrap of attention I got was positive when the ex left me. Get rid of the tracker. Get rid of her. Move on. The question of why they are doing something will only lead to more questions.
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Old 24th November 2009, 11:41 AM   #14
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I'm guessing you didn't get a second chance with your's either then? Yeah. That little thread of hope is a hard thing to cut.
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Old 24th November 2009, 12:01 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by cdt76 View Post
But there is nothing on there about any other girls or her. Nothing. So call me a cave man but I don't understand.
i was just trying to explain that it was not a positive signal. he should move on with his life
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