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how do i bounce back from breaking NC


Coping Learning to deal with one's emotions and loss.

Old 8th July 2009, 11:19 AM   #1
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how do i bounce back from breaking NC

Ok so after not contacting or seeing my ex for almost 2 weeks, I sort of caved. He texted me yesterday asking if I was goign to go to his moms in rhode island. In my head i was like is this kid crazy? After cursing me out and insulting me and only saying sorry through a text, hes asking me to go to rhode island?

I sent him a text saying NO. He texted me back saying ok i was just wonddering because my mom asked. Then i sent a text back saying Ok. Then he texted me back saying ok sorry to bother you have fun at work. I texted him back ( i realize i shouldnt have right after i sent it) im not busy, i just dont want to talk to you. He responded saying way to be rude. and i said yup goodbye. I then felt like an idiot so i apologized for being rude and said i was just annoyed with him. he asked why and we started texting back and forth explaining why we were annoyed with eachother.

he was at work and sent me a text saying, im busy now you can call or text me later if you want. so at about 10 pm i was ready to go to bed but kind of wanted to talk to him.. or at least wanted him to call me. so i texted him saying did you wanna talk? no answer. then i texted saying ok i mgoing to bed then. no answer. then i called. no answer. i was getting mad and an hour later just to feel a a bit better i sent a text saying : watever theres not really a need to talk. i already said what i need to say. we had our chance n it didnt work. life goes on. hope ignoring me got u off. goodnight.

woke up this morning with a sick feeilng in my stomach. why was he ignoring me? maybe he left his phone at work or fell asleep? idk its just annoying cuz i thought he wanted to talk and finally i was feeling open to it..and my calls and texts went unanswered.

i was supposed to have a date last night and the date canceled so i think i was feeling vulnerable and lonely to answering his texts.

how do i bounce back from this? i was feeling better and just fell for his trap. i felt like i had a little mroe power in the situation by ignoring his texts and calls the past two weeks and now i feel like i dont have a handle on the situation. if he calls or texts today apologizing for not answering my texts or calls do i ignore him? or act nice and like i dont care? advice, etc welcome
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Old 8th July 2009, 11:33 AM   #2
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I think this could be a good lesson. If he tried that again, you'll know exactly what will happen if you write him\call him back.

Keeping NC is a damn hard thing to do especially when your ex contacts you. You should be proud that you managed to NC him in the first place, many friends of mine are in bad shape because they refuse to NC their ex's.

I think that the fact you still take it so hard points that you are not yet ready to restore communication with him, so I suggest you NC him again, for now.

Good luck with whatever it is you decide to do, and don't beat yourself up about it
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Old 8th July 2009, 3:03 PM   #3
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thank you sweetheart.

i dont knwo whats wrong with me today. i feel so sick and nauseated. i feel like im going to cry.i dont know if its just because im feeling anxious about him not responding to me or if im sick. i just felt like when he said he wanted to talk, it would be a good talk and he would tell me he missed me and we could work things out. i just got my hopes up. i guess i need to keep no contact and if he wanted that hed find some way to reach me.
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Old 8th July 2009, 3:11 PM   #4
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I can relate to the way you feel. Hope can be a cruel thing.

I'm glad you decided to keep NC. Time will heal, and you deserve someone who won't pull stuff like that off with you
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Old 8th July 2009, 3:51 PM   #5
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Why would he think you would be going to his mother's house? Did you have plans with her? If so, it was her job to contact you, not his.

As for him, the only message to which you should respond is, "I'm sorry, I love you, and I want you back." Everything else is noise and not worth your time. Hopefully this exchange will inspire you to DELETE his number!
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Old 8th July 2009, 3:57 PM   #6
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I know exactly how you feel. I HATE when my ex ignores my texts or calls. It hurts so much. It gives me anxiety and only makes me want to call and text him even more. its going to be 3 months since our break up next week and we are actually going to see eachother next weekend. we are going to dinner and a show. of course i invited him to show but he wants to do dinner too. i hope everything goes well because if it doesnt this might be the last time i see him. we havent seen eachother in over a month. i text him yesterday when i was bored at the airport 3x and he never wrote back. i was so hurt as my flight was delayed for 8 hours and i was traveling alone and all i could do was think and want to cry. i wanted to uninvite him to show but that would mean i couldn't see him next week. so i sent him a text today asking if everything was ok as i never heard from him yesterday and wanted to make sure he still wanted to go otherwise i could find someone else to go with me or sell the tix and he wrote back that he is def going and that his battery died yesterday. so he was obviously talking and texting someone NOT me yesterday. but whatever i can't let him see me get that upset over things anymore so i let it go. i will see him next week. and hopefully that won't be the last time
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Old 8th July 2009, 5:31 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EmptyPromises View Post
i was getting mad and an hour later just to feel a a bit better i sent a text saying : watever theres not really a need to talk. i already said what i need to say. we had our chance n it didnt work. life goes on. hope ignoring me got u off. goodnight.
That sounds like you made the most out of a bad situation. Give yourself some credit; your ex was texting you - you were provoked, and you responded. But you got in the last word in a way that reasserted the finality: "We had our chance & it didn't work." Nice.

Let it go. As said above, you've seen now what can happen and how you feel if you respond to contact from an ex. It's a learning experience - and sounds like one you don't want to repeat.

If you don't want to delete his number, for instance if you think he might contact you again and you want to recognise that the call/text is from him, you could edit his name to remind you of your commitment to NC. You could preface his name (let's say it's Bob) with NO or NC or X!! so that if that number pops up, you have a visual reminder not to respond.
NO!!! Bob
But it sounds like you're on the right track having learned from this experience. Hope you're doing well; sounds like your ex was keen to play a game (involving Rhode Island?!??!), but he'll just have to go play with himself.

Last edited by WhyYesThankYou; 8th July 2009 at 5:34 PM.. Reason: typo in original
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Old 8th July 2009, 5:34 PM   #8
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The waiting for texts and calls is a horrible thing and near the end of my relationship my ex was ignoring me or not bothering to reply constantly. the anxiety is terrible. My stomach was in a knot.

I really hope you can get back to NC empty promises. its only a slight slip up. It sounds like he was playing games with you which is a cruel thing.

jqb05443 i d'ont know the backround to your story but are you holding hopes of getting your ex back and are you trying to be friends with him? it sounds to me like your still very much in love with him? Are you sure this show is a good idea?
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Old 9th July 2009, 2:48 PM   #9
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aww, im sorry. breakups suck. the only way to bounce back is to start all over again on square one and not contact him anymore. there was really no reason for you to call and talk to him. if he wanted to talk to you, he would have called YOU. you're broken up and its over, no reason to reminisce and talk about why. it will only hurt you, it's not hurting him.
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Old 10th July 2009, 1:01 AM   #10
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kladsjfkladsf ive really broken no contact. weve been calling and texting eachother for the past day. i let it slip that i was supposed to go on a date the other day and hes all of a sudden interested again. i told him if things were different i would want to be with him...but he keeps bringing up the date and implying that its skanky to be seeing or talking to someone else..i keep goign back and forth with the i dont want to talk to you and i do want to talk to you. i told him if he doesnt have nething nice to say to not bother calling me.

idk in some ways i miss him and want to be with him.. IF THINGS WERE DIFFERENT. then i look at other couples and how cute & lovey dovey they are with eachother and i get jealous...

i know i shouldnt be talking to him..im just venting
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Old 10th July 2009, 12:41 PM   #11
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It sounds like he's become very jealous over this date you were going on. You actually have an opportunity now to give him a taste of his own medicine and let him hurt for a change. If you get the chance again to go on this date then go and go NC on him again without telling him. let him see how it feels like if you ignore his phone calls and texts for change.
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Old 10th July 2009, 1:09 PM   #12
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Thanks..I didn't go on the date I was scared it would make him decide to let go of me for good. Should have gone.
Just started another thread..his gma passed away this morning..idk what to say or if I should go to the services...
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