wow123 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I have read some articles online that say if you are not over a break up in 2 months time then you should seek therapy. I am at the 2 month mark and 2 weeks NC and still feel horrible. Is it time to go to therapy? Link to post Share on other sites
PinkToes Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I don't think it's as cut & dried as that, and it's totally normal to be where you are after 2 months -- especially if you're only 2 weeks NC. It's still relatively early and the grieving process can feel agonizingly slow. Of course, if you feel therapy would help, there's nothing wrong with making an appointment with a recommended counselor just to see what he/she thinks about the situation. But it's definitely normal to be feeling what you're feeling. So has anything changed for you since the breakup? Are you seeing random moments of light and hopefulness, or is everything really dark all the time? Link to post Share on other sites
e.clipse Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 nobody can tell you when it is time to go to therapy. that is something that you have to decide for yourself. absurd articles that say, "if you're not over your ex after 2 months, it's time for therapy!" are wastes of time. just like are ridiculous ideas that it was takes X as long to get over someone you were Y days/years/months with! there is no formula. and there is no other real remedy other than time. some people move on really quickly, others take years to "forget." the same goes for therapy, some people need it to help them move on with their lives, others do not. it does get easier with time. i know what sounds empty right now that you are hurting so much because i used to feel the exact same way. in fact, i used to roll my eyes at people who would tell me the very words i am telling you. in my case, it's been about a year since we officially broke up. it still hurts. some days more than others, definitely. but i haven't died from heartbreak. and i don't intend to. at least, not anymore. in times like these, the best advice is the one we don't want to hear: it takes time, but you will feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wow123 Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 Pinktoes, I just feel like she was the one and my mistakes (no lying or cheating) messed about the best thing that ever happened to me. I have begun going out with friends on weekends. While I think about her while I am out, I still have somewhat of a good time. When I am at work or at home she is on my mind constantly and I feel like i cant escape it. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkToes Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Being able to have a good time when you're out is huge, even if you don't feel like yourself quite yet. So there is hope for you. ;-) The rest is totally normal, it really is. It sucks, but it's normal. If you're having a hard time breaking away from the train of thoughts, there are ways you can try to actively distract yourself. Some of the thoughts running through your head are part of the process of letting go, but you don't need to dwell on them. Try saying to yourself (out loud, if possible), STOP and then intentionally concentrate on something else. Your thoughts will drift back to her, but you can keep doing this as long as it takes. Something else I've done when I started to dwell on my ex is just tell myself, 'I don't need to think about this right now....' It's all just a big ugly process, but where you are is completly normal. Try not to be too hard on yourself for the breakup, we all make mistakes. In the end, it takes two people to make it work. Hang in there, it will get easier. Link to post Share on other sites
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