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Is a Happy New Year text ok after 3 months of NC?


bustertypsy

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Is a Happy New Year text ok after 3 months of NC?

I am thinking of sending my ex a Happy New Year text tomorrow night.We are split up 3 months and I have been in total NC.Does it seem a good idea or am I going to set myself back in the healing process? What if she is hoping I send her a text and I don't?

Any opinions would be very welcome

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Is a Happy New Year text ok after 3 months of NC?

I am thinking of sending my ex a Happy New Year text tomorrow night.We are split up 3 months and I have been in total NC.Does it seem a good idea or am I going to set myself back in the healing process? What if she is hoping I send her a text and I don't?

Any opinions would be very welcome

 

my suggestion would be to not send a text - something to motivate you, after three months of not communicating, one text and you start all over again ;) get my point. good luck.

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You come this far, don't do it! If you don't get a response back, it's really going to set you back. Start the New Year off good and not depressed.

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No, it's not ok. And no, she's not hoping to get a text from you on new year's.

 

Start the new year off by resolving to LET GO of your ex. If she wanted you, she'd still be with you.

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No. I didnt text or call my ex on christmas. And guess what?? She never did anything either. So let it go. Dont do anything. The new year is a great time to make a committment to move on and put the ball in their court so you can start over.

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Is a Happy New Year text ok after 3 months of NC?

I am thinking of sending my ex a Happy New Year text tomorrow night.We are split up 3 months and I have been in total NC.Does it seem a good idea or am I going to set myself back in the healing process? What if she is hoping I send her a text and I don't?

Any opinions would be very welcome

 

You're gonna feel like crap if you do this. Its over cowboy. 3 months of NC and you wanna set yourself back to your break up day?

 

 

No Foolin

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Who did the breakup?

 

Before saying NO, DON'T DO IT!!! What is your motivation for such actions? Really what are the reasons?

 

Just to say Happy new years is not a good reason.

Just to say anything is not really a good reason.

 

If you dumped her and want contact to reconcile and risk it; then by all means do it. Do know you are taking a risk...

 

Have you two improved on yourselves, any changes for the better? If you are lonely and seeking a reason then don't contact her. Plus a SMS text message is kinda weak.

 

I'm not giving you any hopes but second chances rarely work, not impossible but rarely work.

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I would send the text just to say happy new year! Ive had grudges against people, had break ups and if s special holiday like x mas, birthday, or new year came around I would at least say that much. Even though its no contaact no one likes to love knowing that they have eenemies in the world and know that someone out there hates them to the death.. at least I dont. You never know they might say happy new year to u first.. and if they do will you not respond!

 

I say send it!

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AriaIncognito
No. I didnt text or call my ex on christmas. And guess what?? She never did anything either. So let it go. Dont do anything. The new year is a great time to make a committment to move on and put the ball in their court so you can start over.

 

I am soooooooooooo with Niceguy on this one. I didn't contact my ex on Thanksgiving or Christmas, and guess what? He didnt' contact me either.

 

Let her go. You're better off. Contacting her will more than likely ruin your new year and set you back from the start.

 

Start the new year on the right foot, the foot going forward, not the foot desperate to go back.

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After three months of no contact, I think you shouldnt mess it up.

 

How are you doing though? After the past three months..

 

I wish i could help you out but I have never done the no contact thing with my ex. Well I tried, anyways... We still talk ocassionally though. However I dunno if i should send him a "Happy New Year" text tomorrow when the clock strikes twelve either..

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I would send the text just to say happy new year! Ive had grudges against people, had break ups and if s special holiday like x mas, birthday, or new year came around I would at least say that much. Even though its no contaact no one likes to love knowing that they have eenemies in the world and know that someone out there hates them to the death.. at least I dont. You never know they might say happy new year to u first.. and if they do will you not respond!

 

I say send it!

 

Hey Candy thank you for the positive reply,I do truly appreciate it.I do fully understand your view on holding grudges.I am lucky in so far as I was brought up to never hold grudges.

 

But I am looking at the other replies and I think logically and for MY good they are saying don't do it.I think they are right.If I sent her a text it would be in the hope that she replied positively and in that case I am leaving myself vulnerable to hurt.I have to put me first for a change and refrain from doing it.Afterall she ended the relationship,so the ball isn't in my court.I do thank you for your positive support though.

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Bustertypsy,

 

 

I think you should do what makes YOU happy.

 

At the end of the day, the replies on here are all based on all of our past experiences.

 

I think things could go either way. It COULD be good or it COULD be bad.

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After three months of no contact, I think you shouldnt mess it up.

 

How are you doing though? After the past three months..

 

I wish i could help you out but I have never done the no contact thing with my ex. Well I tried, anyways... We still talk ocassionally though. However I dunno if i should send him a "Happy New Year" text tomorrow when the clock strikes twelve either..

 

After 3 months I am doing okay,but am still suffering.I think I am particularily emotional because of the time of year.I know once I get past the New Year I can look forward to better times.

It's hard for me to say you should text him at midnight cos I don't know your circumstances,but as advised here,you're probably better off not doing it unless you sincerely mean it,rather than hoping it will lead to a reconciliation.

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Yeah its definitely hard for everyone this time of year. We all have time off school, work etc.. and so we HAVE the time to dwell on the past and let it bring us down. I think I should be fine after university starts again aswell.

The thing with my ex and I is we are kinda close still so everytime one of us doesnt text eachother or talk to eachother for a few days, either one of us will be like whats going on. Whats going on with the NC for ----- days. Im hopeful for a reconciliation ofcourse. I think i always will have that hope.

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Yeah its definitely hard for everyone this time of year. We all have time off school, work etc.. and so we HAVE the time to dwell on the past and let it bring us down. I think I should be fine after university starts again aswell.

The thing with my ex and I is we are kinda close still so everytime one of us doesnt text eachother or talk to eachother for a few days, either one of us will be like whats going on. Whats going on with the NC for ----- days. Im hopeful for a reconciliation ofcourse. I think i always will have that hope.

 

The thing is does he know you are hopeful for a reconciliation? The most important advice I can give you is to let your feelings be known.At least then you can walk away with no regrets.Once they know your intentions it's up to them to decide/react to your admission.Believe me you will never regret it,but you may regret never laying your heart on the line.Just some advice from somebody whose been there,done that.

Edited by bustertypsy
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I mentioned to him that I will always have hope for us to be together again one day.. But I let him know vaguely. But he knows I love him and I miss him and such. I still tell him all the time.

The problem is that hes the kind of guy who always thinks hes right and even when he has realized that he was wrong in saying something, he wont admit it. He thinks hes all macho and stuff. :confused: Thats just the way he is.

I feel so helpless sometimes. We never even broke up for a GOOD reason; Nothing that couldnt be talked out.

But hes been hurt a lot by his exs so i guess i dont blame him.

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brothermartin

I say sure. My ex sent me a birthday ecard, it was nice. But I don't think it set me back in my healing process. What set me back was that I sent her an email right after asking her what was new in her life. She hasn't returned a response.:( To make matters worse, we both have two mutual friends and they forgot my birthday too. But it's cool, I'm still having a great time and enjoying being single again!:D

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I mentioned to him that I will always have hope for us to be together again one day.. But I let him know vaguely. But he knows I love him and I miss him and such. I still tell him all the time.

The problem is that hes the kind of guy who always thinks hes right and even when he has realized that he was wrong in saying something, he wont admit it. He thinks hes all macho and stuff. :confused: Thats just the way he is.

I feel so helpless sometimes. We never even broke up for a GOOD reason; Nothing that couldnt be talked out.

But hes been hurt a lot by his exs so i guess i dont blame him.

 

I think the best way to sort out a macho man is to stop feeding his fire.A dose of NC may be just what the doctor ordered.They have to stop focusing on how wonderful they are and see you instead.Then,and only then will they see that the world does not revolve around them.

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I think the best way to sort out a macho man is to stop feeding his fire.A dose of NC may be just what the doctor ordered.They have to stop focusing on how wonderful they are and see you instead.Then,and only then will they see that the world does not revolve around them.

 

How are you so sure it' ll work?

:)

Ive NEVER been able to maintain NC. I guess I could TRY if you think it could work. I have nothing to lose(Ive already lost him). So its definitely worth trying anything.

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How are you so sure it' ll work?

:)

Ive NEVER been able to maintain NC. I guess I could TRY if you think it could work. I have nothing to lose(Ive already lost him). So its definitely worth trying anything.

 

You nailed it,you do have nothing to lose.I feel by going NC it will make him realise that you don't need him.This will wake him up and take away any smug feeling he has that makes him think you are his,when it suits.

It may or may not get him back but it will not put him off you in any way.

 

By being constantly around him you are not allowing yourself time to move on,nor are you allowing him to see what life is like without you.

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I say don't send it. Let her wonder what you're doing, who you took to the fabulous party you're no doubt at. It's way better to let her wonder!

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Unless you're the dumper and want to reconcile I say no.

 

Last contact with my ex wife (who left me)... together 7 1/2 years.. was at the beginning of December. I did make sure that last contact was pleasant and the last memory was good but that's that.

 

No Merry X-mAs .. from either of us. X-Mas was damn hard enough withtout wanting to add to it.

 

There's no way I want to start the new year with any of the feelings I've had to go through this year or any setbacks. Let's face it, in almost all cases there's really no going back....

 

I'm entering 2008 showing 2007 my a$$ and not the other way around...

Edited by sumdude
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You nailed it,you do have nothing to lose.I feel by going NC it will make him realise that you don't need him.This will wake him up and take away any smug feeling he has that makes him think you are his,when it suits.

It may or may not get him back but it will not put him off you in any way.

 

By being constantly around him you are not allowing yourself time to move on,nor are you allowing him to see what life is like without you.

 

Yeah thats true. I kinda had a moment of weakness last night. :( I texted him saying "Happy new year.I wish you were here.."

HOWEVER Im going to TRY the NC for a while. Maybe a month or two. Its going to be hard but atleast I have everyone here on LS.

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