Coming to terms?

[Megakurth]

Ive posted a few times now (story was, dumped 2 weeks before finals after a year and a half with lots of other turmoil going on in life, had a free summer, but now back in school, she lives on same floor, constantly around, works at same place, etc).

 

Anyway, as of Sunday, we will have been broken up for 6 months. I feel like its a big step, for it would have been our 2 year anniversary, but at the same time, as that day draws closer, some of the feelings seem to be rushing back, and as much as I want to let go, I can't, and I don't know why. For some reason, she never seems to escape my mind still. I see her often, whether its just on the elevator or something of the sort. I don't talk to her other than an acknowledgement like a hello or whatever if we see eachother. Shes changed as a person, acts more as my roomate puts it "girly", seems occupied with her life, drinks more, etc. I know this tends to happen. Ive moved on for the most part as well getting more involved with myself and my own things.

 

Still though, I get my moments of sadness. I haven't had much luck as far as women goes after her (haven't dated since or anything, haven't really seen the opportunity arise).

 

Ill find that as I lay down at night sometimes, the thoughts of her rush back. I get this feeling sometimes that my life is going nowhere, even though my schoolwork reflects otherwise. Im doing good, have good internship/job opportunities coming up, and im very involved. At this point I guess ive come to terms with the fact that we weren't made for each other and that things happen and whoevers fault in the end, it doesn't matter, its a learning experience. Whether there will be others or not, only time will tell. It is just a small piece of me that won't let go and I don't know why. Is it because shes so close right now yet so far? Is it because I still want her? Is it because im alone and I yearn the need for someone? I don't know, but at the very moment, im feeling quite weak when it comes to it. I feel like when I cross the 6 month threshold on Sunday, it may get easier, but at the same time, I don't know... help..?

Edited October 22, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Double D]

I think you've answered all your questions already.

 

In about a week will be a year since me and my ex broke up and it has got easier but to be honest a year later she's still the first and last person I think about in the day. Deep down in my heart I know we werent meant to be at that point in our lives and I guess I just feel sadness that it ended and ended worst than it had to.

 

What I would say to that you continue focusing on your future, as sad as it is to say she is now part of your past and someone who will stay in your mind forever. Take what you can from the experience and be patient with yourself. Take your time. It sounds like you have stuff coming up, which is cool and dont forget to be kind to yourself and smile