princessa Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 So it's been about a week since I initiated NC. But we haven't really been together months prior to that already, so the breakup stuff has been haunting me for a while already. I know I'm past the withdrawal stage because I can't even remember the last time we had sex or even kissed. Still I'm confused as to what stage I am in and what I should be doing. I'm not miserable 24/7, and I don't cry all the time any more. I am able to be rational and stick to my decision, because I am convinced that it was the right one. Nevertheless, I am still very sad and overly sensitive about the whole issue so I find myself avoiding social situations. Most people say that after a break up it's best to get out and keep busy as much as you can, but I really have a hard time socializing with people that aren't close friends of mine. I'm still too sensitive, and I am afraid that any innocent comment from a guy asking me if I have a boyfriend and why I don't can put me in a really bad mood. Plus, it's hard enough keeping the happy face at work from 9 to 5 and pretend that you have it all together, that I really don't want to force myself to do it at night on top of that. Some guy that I am acquainted with just emailed me, inviting me to join him and his group of friends (should be a large group) and hang out. I'm planning to decline the invitation..... What do you people think? Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 Just go... Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 By your post it seems as if you may not be ready to date, if someone asks you if you have a BF and that puts you in a bad mood, maybe the time away will do you some good, you are not over this yet and if you get into something too early you may carry some of those things from your previous relationship into the next. Link to post Share on other sites
Author princessa Posted January 15, 2007 Author Share Posted January 15, 2007 By your post it seems as if you may not be ready to date, if someone asks you if you have a BF and that puts you in a bad mood, maybe the time away will do you some good, you are not over this yet and if you get into something too early you may carry some of those things from your previous relationship into the next. No no, I'm not talking about dating at all!!! I'm talking about just platonic socializing in a group of people. I'm just trying to say that when somebody you don't know asks you about yourself in a social setting, you naturaly try to put your best foot forward because you don't want to depress them, and talk about the good things in your life. I find this hard to do and I'm tired of forcing myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Texan Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 princessa, I think I know exactly what you are saying... I'm slowly coming out of that stage myself.... The best advice I have been given was to just take it slow... if you're not up to going out, just don't. Don't beat yourself up over it. It takes time to heal and I think a lot of people throw themselves back into the social scene way too early. Platonic or not, it just doesn't seem healthy to me to force yourself into a situation that you don't feel you are ready for. That's my two cents... wish you all the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 RE: Short Answer: Accept the invitation. Go out. I believe you are simply afraid of failure -or making a clumsy attempt at being normal, a staged appearance of yourself to the world that might entail cause rejection. Think about it. IF you stay indoors, limit yourself, choose close-minded approaches, the pain and hurt will not disappear. The change will not occur within seconds [ -rarely, slim to none]. You will only go deeper in this self-hating-whirl-wind-of-heartbreak. IF you go out with friends/acquaintances, you may progress more gradually. So what if someone triggers your tip? You may end up crying. That is a healthy thing. You may be surprised that expelling those suppressed emotions will be very fulfilling and beneficial. It is your choice. In the end, it is about you -do whatever you feel comfortable with. Regards, Sand&Water Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 I say go. You never know what might come of going out. Is there a chance that this is a one time only invitation? I'd go. try your hardest to psyche yourself up. You've already invested quite a bit of emotional energy in your relationship, dont miss out on more because of it. Link to post Share on other sites
notmakingsense Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 That's the advice I would give someone in your situation. Or, in other words, practice makes perfect. It might not be very fun for you at first, but you will quickly learn that interacting with others on a social basis -- as long as they mostly have the same instests, etc. -- is harmless, fun, and helps reconnect you with the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Author princessa Posted January 15, 2007 Author Share Posted January 15, 2007 "Fake it till you make it" Hahah it's funny I just said the same thing in another thread. I guess I should follow my own advice in this case. Heh, easier said than done. Link to post Share on other sites
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