waitingforlove Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Hi everyone, My ex-bf dumped me about 4 months ago. After crying and begging a lot over the months, he finally told a friend of ours that he has moved on and is now interested in another girl. He said he didn't want to talk about it anymore because he has already moved on and he wanted me to move on too. I've always thought he wasn't somebody who could change his heart so easily .... maybe I was wrong. Surprisingly, this is the time I finally can start to let go. I realize that there's really no hope anymore, and now that he has a new "target," I should be happy for him -- if only that's true. I wonder if he said that just to make me move on, but it really doesn't make a difference anyway. If he didn't want me to move on, he wouldn't say something like that. Obviously, he really doesn't want me anymore. I sent him a email congratulating him and told him that I secretly wished he would find a new girl soon so that I could move on. I told him that I was worried about hurting his feelings if I moved on first. So I said I was glad that finally we could both move on and accept our new relationships. I hope he doesn't see me as totally worthless .... I really don't have any hopes anymore .... just a little bit of heartache left ..... I certainly wish a bit that he just said he wanted me to move on so that I would leave him alone (he's the type that REALLY avoids problems and I know he feels pressured whenever I tell him that I still love him) ..... I wish he would come back .... but I know the chances are almost non-existent. Do you guys think it's true? Link to post Share on other sites
MacGyver Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 If i could hug the people on this forum, god damn it i would! Let go of any hope you have left. He has moved on, and so should you! Be strong sweety. I promise everything will be ok. *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
spinnelli Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 I'm sorry, that must really hurt. In cases like this, what you don't know won't hurt you and that is the argument for NC. If you are not in touch with him, you won't know what's going on in his life, and you can even pretend that he's at home crying over you. While the fact that he has a new target doesn't necessarily mean that it's over for good between you, I mean, THEY could break up and he could come back to you years down the line or something but this girl could also be the one for him or he could meet some other girl after her and that other girl could be the one. So you see that is not the kind of hope you need to be clinging to, it doesn't help you move on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Winfield Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Why did you send him the e-mail congratulating him, when you're really not all that happy for him? Was it a last ditch attempt to win him back? An ex did this to me once (wishing me all the best, etc, when I told her I'd met another girl) and that's the impression I got. Why did he have to find a girl for you to move on? You were worried about hurting his feelings? Remember, he dumped you (hurting your feelings), so all the more reason for you to seek new happiness before him! You were waiting on him to tell you to move on? Why couldn't you make that decision for yourself? Remember, he dumped you, so, his loss... And you still tell him you love him, even though he doesn't reciprocate those feelings? I'm afraid you're wasting your time with him. Through his actions, I reckon he's made his feelings crystal clear. Use the energy you're putting into this "dead horse" situation (from what you've written, it isn't going anywhere) into pursing a new relationship with someone who equally respects you! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
whir Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 please is there som1 who can help this girls..i hope there is guru out there who would put a thread for girls..like "what to do if HE dumps you" Link to post Share on other sites
tearful_soul22 Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 I truly sympathize with your situation and i hope it will get better for you soon. We all experienced heartaches and heartbreaks in our lives but, it doesn't nescessarily mean it's the end of the world. True, it will hurt for a while, there will anger, resentment, and other emotional feelings that will try to bring you down..but you don't have to take that, nor do you deserve to be lost in that experience ever again. After all the pain is gone and done with, you have to learn to nurture yourself again. You need to focus on YOU and how you deserve not to be hooked by the pitfalls of that same relationship again. You need to establish healthy boundaries next time to protect yourself both mentally, emotionally, and physically. Follow your instincts and intuitions. Establish relationship with a partner that is supportive, caring, affectionate, accepting, and wherein you can retain your individuality and personhood as well. In the meantime, you have to move past that and learn from the experience. If he has moved on, then you should do the same. In due time i'm sure, you will meet someone worthy of all your love and affection. Be strong and keep your chin up. Take care of yourself and i wish you all the best that life has to offer! Link to post Share on other sites
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