Expectations

[JohnHesse]

I've been broken up with my g-friend for a month now, and i've come to realize that alot of why we broke up is a difference in expectations. I was wondering if anyone had thoughts on this.

 

For example.

She is a very dynamic, pretty, talented woman of 35. She's always expected her partner to challenge her, make her feel special, be financially decent, all of that, i would place her expectations of her partner at say a 90 (scale to 100)

 

I'm alot of those things, but perhaps fall short on some of those things. Say i'm a 75, with potential to stretch to be 85. I'm willing to stretch for her as i think i'm falling short of my potential, don't know if i'll ever be a 90 though.

 

The problem is that i am willing to accept her as less then a 90. She's a 90 in my eyes, but in the eyes of another guy who IS a 90, she may be an 80.

These inequalities of expectations are why i believe alot of people break up.

If we're not willing to love someone no matter what stage in their life they are in, give someone a break, and know that NO ONE is always a 90 say, and as long as they are comfortable with a range of say +/- 10 i think that the relationship can be successful. (plus you have to have an innate passion for each other)

That's why i think hollywood relationships always end, you can be a 90 in someone's eyes if they are novel and new, but once you see the imperfections, you have to be willing to live with some compromises.

I guess it may be just which of the compromises you can live with.

[RealBroken]

Yep, some people are looking for that 'movies' perfect relationship. They then get older and panick, realising it aint all that.

 

Ive just come out of a relationship, we both agreed we'd never been so in love. But she used to say, im not that experienced in relationships and have not much to compare it too.

 

She also came from a very broken home, and I guess this made her idolise the most perfect relationship too.

 

We were great, and she always said it. But in the end it wasnt enough.

 

Sucks huh.

[JohnHesse]

i'm curious, what didn't work about your relationship, did you ex find what she was looking for?

[Brittanyjean06]

You are right, it all has to do with everyones perspectives on things.

 

Sometimes in a relationship there is no wrong or nor right, both parties simple just don't see eye to eye

 

what you think is perfect, might not be perfect in someone elses eyes

 

that doesn't meen all relationships end that way, but it really usually is the main core of the problem, misunderstandings and different opinions and other expectations