She dumped me out of the blue!

Beatnik · 16th December 2005, 8:47 PM

Me and my girlfriend of 6 months have been doing great, we never fight, we have great sex, we always have fun together, etc. Then all of a sudden she says she's having emotional problems, she was diagnosed with depression and is getting tested for bipolar. she says that she wants to break up to try and figure things out. I dont understand, I love her, she told me she loved me. shes pushing me away to try not to hurt me buts by doing so shes hurting me alot. I miss her so much, she still wants to be friends and hang out and go out, but not a relationship. I'm so pissed off and sad and confused. I know she cares about me and I care about her, so why the hell cant we stay together? I've always be there for her. I dunno, I need advice, she tells me she doesnt know when she'll be ok again, so she doesnt want me to just wait for that day because she doesnt know if its days, weeks, months or even years. I dont care, I love her and I dont want her to just push me away because shes scared.

lost/found? · 16th December 2005, 9:05 PM

that's a tough one buddy, i would have to believe that she is scared with how she might act and she is looking out for your best interests, she doesn't want to hurt you, and she has to come to grips with her depression on her own terms.

penkitten · 16th December 2005, 9:53 PM

i agree
i also think if you push to stay together it will make her move further back.
give her some time to come around with all this new stuff going on .

Art_Critic · 16th December 2005, 10:08 PM

You need to follow her lead.. If she wants you gone.. leave
If she wants to stay friends do that..
With mental illness and/or depression they might just need space..

Candystick · 17th December 2005, 6:09 AM

i just posted a thread about the same thing. My gf who I was with for 1/12 years, broke up 2 days ago. she was also diagnosed with depression, and had the same excuse! And I feel the way you do! It was really strange reading your post! I couldnt belive her dumping me 2 days from my birthday, bt she said it wasnt her foult, she couldnt cntrol when she get sick! We usually sent eachother txtmessages all the day. havent heard from her since thursday! fell dpressed myslf

travellingman · 17th December 2005, 7:45 AM

While she might really have it, the depression issue is an excuse.

Reality is she just isn't into you anymore, and is trying to let you down easy, or she feels like she needs more space. Either way, only thing you can do is back off.

Once, when my wife and I first started dating, she gave me the needs more space speech. Now I give it back to her everyday.

RecordProducer · 17th December 2005, 9:02 AM

I've read too many "I"s in this post. Where is your compassion for her depression? She wanted to hang out with you so there's your opportunity to show her that you will be there for her. But for some reason I think you only care about yourself.

She is fragile now and she needs to be surrounded with people who are gentle and caring to her. For some reason, she doesn't think you're one of them and wants a break from you. You should think about it and ask yourself why.

In any case, if it turns out that she is bipolar, moody behavior is expected on her part. She might break up for no reason or switch from one emotional state to another. If you want to be with a person who has a mental disorder, you should be prepared to bear the pain she will be causing you.

Beatnik · 17th December 2005, 6:54 PM

Thats not true at all, I've always been there for her, always gave her space, everything was going so good, it doesnt make any sense, she would always just randomly call me and ask if she could come over because she missed me, and would tell me she loved me, even just a few days ago. it simply doesnt make any god damn sense, and i apologize, im not normally like this im usually a very easy going guy, but it just hurts when your dropped by someone you love.

Sami_D · 17th December 2005, 7:03 PM

If she's been diagnosed with depression, and you were never aware of that, and it was never discussed between you... then I'd say you and her were never on the same page.

Like RP, what I see here is a lot of 'I's... you're wondering about yourself. And a few of the blokes here are thinking the same... 'excuses' 'what about me'... blah blah.

If there has been a diagnosis of depression and you don't see it and don't put her first.. you're a useless waste of space in her life and a drag. And she's better off without you.