EX Emailed me! Help what do I do??

[Super89Rex]

Well, I just recieved an EMAIL from my ex girlfriend. Here are the circumstances surrounding my situation, I have another thread on it completely but basically, she cheated on me, left me for another guy; wanted to be friends and I couldn't so I told her we should go our seperate ways.

 

Anyways, I sent her parents an EMAIL the other day thanking them for everything they have done for me; stating that I only wanted what was best for her and always strived to be my best for her and generally hope she is happy with her decision to leave me. Anyways, today I recieved an email from her saying thank you for sending the letter, some general stuff about picking up my mail, etc. She also went into details about how she missed me and cares about me and hopes we can be "friends" but also understands that if I dont want to be.

 

Now, I have been doing N.C for about 2 weeks since I have last seen her; generally avodigin answering the phone due to a lack of caller ID, etc. We have been officially broken up since the 27th of Aug (following a 3 week break of torture where I waited for her decision) Should I respond to the email?? Her birthday is coming up on Thursday and I had told her the last time we spoke that I was going to call her on her birthday. I honestly dont know what I should do; I still want her back and everything in the world says that I shouldn't after what she has done to me.

 

Should I continue with the N.C?

Doing what at this point will improve my chances of EVER getting her back? I dont want to be just friends as I don't think I can handle it. But I keep thinking if I hold on as a "friend" I might be able to somehow compete with this new guy??

 

I am so insanely confused, please help L.S!!

 

Thanks guyz

 

Matt

[francis]

she cheated on you for another guy, you are the 'good guy' here, sending her parents an email coz you genuinely care, and also to score some brownie points with her if you are blatantly honest with yourself.

 

don't make the mistake of worrying what the best tactic is to gain a better chance at getting her back. she is not going to get back with you/not get back with you because of something you do or say. she is going to get back with you if her feelings are so strong for you that she cannot ignore them.

 

so far, it sounds like she's happy with her latest guy, wants to relieve some guilt coz you are a nice guy by wanting to be friends, it just eases the situation for her, her end. 'would like to be friends but understands if you don't want to be'.

 

she doesnt see you are boyfriend material. the BEST thing you can do is go live your life, independently of her. act like you can totally survive without her. you've got to toughen up and harden yourself. act like you don't care. i promise.

 

if she sees you as a wimp, or a big softie, she will run a mile. women want powerful, strong men who are in control.

 

act nonchalant, powerful and strong. walk away now. and NC, despite your excuses to get in touch, such as her birthday. get a grip.

[Super89Rex]

Yeah dude I guess you're right, Ive been doing pretty good for the last 2 weeks. She wasn't even supposed to get that letter I had sent, it was for her parents only. I just keep thinking that the only way she will regain feelings for me again is if I am around; clearly that is not the case.

 

Thanks for setting me straight!

[Super89Rex]

Anyone else have any comments? Im looking for a much advice as possible..

 

Thanks!

[johan]

My opinion is that she isn't offering you anything worth having. She isn't saying "if you'll be my friend, then I'll get back together with you." She's just saying "I like the fact that you felt that way about me, but if you'll settle for less, you can have that. Why don't you come watch me get on with my life?"

 

If a girl I broke up with felt that strongly for me, I wouldn't have the heart to contact her at all, let alone lead her on with friendship. And then leave her with with all the pain that having to watch me move on will cause her.

 

I agree with francis. You were already your best self with her. She knows you're a great guy. She has all the information she needs from you in order to make a decision whether to be with you. Maybe life will give her some more that makes her want you back. It's better if you don't torture yourself trying to influence something that you most likely can't. Hang in there!

[morrigan]

Doing what at this point will improve my chances of EVER getting her back?

 

There's really nothing you can do--she cheated, chose to end the relationship and to see other people. Getting on with your life is the best thing you can do for yourself.

 

But I keep thinking if I hold on as a "friend" I might be able to somehow compete with this new guy??

 

She may have suggested being friends in hopes you would feel less upset about the breakup.

 

In all honestly, you'll either end up as the friend she confides her relationship problems to, or you'll be the 'backup guy" she keeps around when she isn't currently dating someone. I'm not trying to be hurtful here, but this often happens when a person stays friends with the ex with the idea they'll get back with them again. If you can't accept being friends with her and nothing more, I wouldn't do it.

[francis]

She's just saying "I like the fact that you felt that way about me, but if you'll settle for less, you can have that. Why don't you come watch me get on with my life?"

 

Johan summed it up perfectly, enough said.

[Wherethesunshines]

I would say "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out?" Get on with what you have to do? Life goes on. People are starving out there in the world. Go to a cancer hospital and see if they give a S%gt about this. They would move on.