anzep Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 The question is pretty straightforward, is any of you grateful to your ex for dumping you? I'm asking this because there is a part of me that recognized that her dumping me, broke me up, but laid grounds for a new version of me. I started taking care of myself, working out, being more confident, changed my looks, and I sorted out issues I had within me, which can be traced back to my childhood. I know that "grateful" is a strong word, I myself still am insecure about starting a new relationship with anyone, but at some level, are you grateful? Or you just hate her/his guts? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliBabe Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Yes, I was very grateful my ex from 3 years ago dumped me. I grew so much and really evolved. I am so so grateful. It is a really good thing when you can see that yourself, good for you! I was dying at the time but I now realize it was the greatest thing to have happened. My life would be miserable today if we were still together. "let it go; something beautiful is trying to grow in its place" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 First off, my answer is "yes"... I am VERY grateful that I was dumped by a woman I was engaged to. I have the luxury of looking back at this incident from 22+ years ago, though. After she dumped me, I took my life in a different direction. I stopped focusing on trying to be a husband and a father and focused on Real Estate flipping and having fun. Fast forward 22+ years, my life was a fantastic adventure of nomadic successes. I've been places, done things and dated very interesting women. None of which would have ever happened if we stayed together. She never would have allowed me to do the speculative/high risk Real Estate investing and moving around, that I did. Moreover with the money I made, I've been able to retire 10 years early, which is going to allow me tour the South West United States and have even more adventures. There is no way any of this would have happened if I was married and possibly had children. Based on my personality, I would have been a sad, disgruntled shell of a human being if I got married to my ex-fiance'. I am very grateful, no regrets and extremely happy with the life I have led!! I know my type of nomadic life is not for everyone, so feel free to disagree. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ardeerd Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 The book I'm reading talks a lot about this, how a breakup can give you the chance to grow into someone new, better, happier. I'm hoping I can execute on that! I talked to my best friend about it today and he just kept saying I probably dodged a bullet, etc. which has also helped me feel a little grateful. It's still super fresh for me (not even a full week has gone by), but I'm trying to focus on stuff like this. I think I will be grateful later on, yeah. I already know that I became a better person for our relationship because I worked really hard on myself to "not mess it up." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
toomanyquestions123 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 I think that yes i am grateful that he broke up with me. Marrying a guy with OCPD would be hell for me and my kids ( if i had any ). I need a normal guy with the least mental illnesses. I think i dodged a bullet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Never greatfull!!! There were times after a while, which I thought in my mind that it was the best for me. But it was my mind who knew that. My ego never let me to feel greatfull from the inside. I know that's one of my flaws... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Young mind Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 I feel that as well, 5 months in, your brain starts to reward you for going through this tough time and still standing strong, you only look back and say well I loved you and breakup happen and you live with it. Our heads start to clear and there is no more hate, that's why NC is efficient, you can't see or know anything about them, thus they can't hurt you anymore and you can't be angry anymore. Keep tracking your improvement, we don't come out the same but we certainly come out of all this differently 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author anzep Posted February 7, 2018 Author Share Posted February 7, 2018 Never greatfull!!! There were times after a while, which I thought in my mind that it was the best for me. But it was my mind who knew that. My ego never let me to feel greatfull from the inside. I know that's one of my flaws... Sometimes I feel that too, I'm trying to focus on the good things the breakup brought. And surely sometimes my mind wanders around and likes to think of the old times, but I keep that under control. I hope that's for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 I'm sure my first ex is grateful - last I checked he's a proud father of 4 kids! Just to be clear, I have no regrets. I'm engaged to the love of my life. My ex and I were extremely incompatible; I also certainly did NOT want to be a mother of 4 at 30!! By letting him go, I freed both of us up to seek a much more compatible partner and have a much better relationship with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Jagged100 Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Absolutely yes. We were incompatible and our relationship had become too toxic for either of us to be happy anymore. I'm a better person for having known my ex but my life is more peaceful now. Link to post Share on other sites
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