My Break Up Stories

[callmegm]

I've experienced a total of 4 break-ups in my life time so far (and I hope that's it because I'm happily married and I don't know what I would do if I experience another one).

 

Two of those, I was the dumper, and the other two I was the dumper.

 

My first boyfriend broke up with me because of my issues with myself - I was insecure and I always tested him to see if he would express jealousy - and I guess I pushed too far. He broke up with me, and after a year he moved on with his best friend. We're still friends and though he doesn't seem to be happy with his marriage now - he loves his kids. We email every now and then, and it's always nice to hear from him.

 

My second boyfriend, I broke up with him because of issues again with myself. He lived too far, I said to myself. I don't know whether it would work because we just didn't get to see each other enough. So even though he tried his best, I wasn't impressed and soon lost interest. I still feel bad about that and I think about him every now and then. He hasn't talked to me since we broke up and I don't know how he's doing.

 

My third boyfriend, I was with him for 7 years. We were in the same university together and I was so scared of being alone at the time, because everyone around me seems to be coupling up. Not me though. No one seemed to be interested in dating me at the time and I kept thinking that maybe I messed it up with the other two boyfriends that I had and now I'm gonna be alone forever. So when he asked me out - I jumped on it and it lasted 7 long years. The first few years was alright - I was in love with being in love. But then I had to move to a different country. This was different from my second boyfriend - I wanted to work on this. I was stubborn - I can't throw away all those years. It was when my parents started talking about marriage - I freaked out. I realizes that my third boyfriend and I had nothing in common. We had no similar interest other than sex. Eventually I ended it - and to be honest, I think we both wanted it. He dated a new girl a month later and I had moved on after a month as well. I think my parents were more upset that that relationship ended than we were. He's married now and his wife is pregnant. We're not strictly friends but my parents and my younger brother continue to be in good terms with them. It's not a big deal because I might not enjoy spending time with him - but he had become close to my family.

 

My fourth boyfriend broke up with me. We met when were both transient people in a foreign land. I had just come out of a long term relationship. I thought I'd try this whole casual dating thing. Tinder and OKCupid were my friends. After six months - I met him. We agreed we'd be monogamous but with an expiration date. We had many things in common, but we handled our problems differently. He likes to withdraw for weeks and I felt like that was punishment to me especially since I knew we didn't have forever. It would be over when he or I left the country. Towards the end - our main problems was sex (and how I was starting to want more from the relationship). He just lost interest in having sex (with me because he continues to watch porn). One night, I wanted it and he was interested. He just decided to kick me out of his apartment and broke up with me through text the next day.

 

When I broke up with someone, it hurt but not as much as when they broke up with me. I suppose that's normal. But the fourth ex was the most painful break up I've ever experienced. I cried every time I woke up for weeks and weeks. I'd wake up with the heaviest weight on my chest. Every little thing would remind me of him, and even things that have nothing to do with him would make me cry because I would think about him in a roundabout way.

 

It took me a year to get over him. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that we remained friends, but I never did show how much he hurt me, except for earlier on when I asked if he could keep his dating life to himself, I didn't need to know it. We remained friends because we were friends before we dated and it just made sense to continue to be friends afterwards.

 

When I started dating my now-husband, I kept a low profile about it. And it was easy because he lived back home. I was making plans to leave the transient country and I met him through a D&D forum. We became more and more serious and I started spending more and more of my free time with him, which now cut into the time I would spend with the 4th ex. My 4th ex heard me Skype-ing with my now-husband and later that evening, I received a long message about how he wished I kept my new dating life to myself because he kept his from me as per my request.

 

I apologized and we never talked about it again.

 

I'm back home now, and my husband and I are very happy. I still talk to two of my exes - the one that broke up with me - on a semi-regular basis. Just to catch up and see how we are - nothing romantic. We never even talked about our past dating.

 

I actually don't know how to end this. I'm not really asking any questions or anything. I just wanted to talk about it.

 

I hope that's okay?