Jump to content

Logically moving on vs emotionally moving on


Recommended Posts

Hey everyone. This is my first post here on the forum. After reading some other people's posts it's comforting to know I'm not alone when it comes to feeling this pain and the dread of the Christmas holidays coming up.

 

Anyway, I was in a 4 year relationship which was on and off and caused us both a lot of of pain. There was no cheating or abuse but each time we broke up it caused us to drift further and further apart and I don't know if either of us could get over the fact that there were many times we were both 'single' when we broke up and could never get that fresh start that we once had.

 

It's been about 6 weeks since we broke up, 2 weeks NC and I'm really struggling to keep my emotions in check. I know that logically, if we were to try again then it would most likely end in another break up, and this horrible feeling all over again, but it seems so difficult for logic to win over emotion. I can look at all the facts, the arguments we had, the reasons we struggled, and know that it would be better for both of us to move on. But in my head she is the most incredible girl I have ever met, the most beautiful, and I'm never going to find anyone like her again. If someone else was writing that or saying it to me, I know the advice I'd give . . . of course you will find someone else, there are 7 billion people on the planet! . . . but it's hard to believe it yourself. I really do feel like I'm being hijacked by my emotions sometimes, and I just needed to vent more than anything.

Link to post
Share on other sites

You answered your own question. You know it won't work but deep down you wish it would even though you know the result would end up the same.

It was a relationship that was toxic and had repeated been ups so it was more then likely intense at times.

After you break up and get back togeather more then twice it isn't going to work even though you want it to.

Why did you break up?

Link to post
Share on other sites
heartbrokenlady

I know exactly how you feel. I'm several months in and am having the same logic over love struggle. The difference is I'm an older woman and I am also deeply tired of the tumult of emotion wrecking my life. I don't want the rest of my life to be chaotic, the way it has been.

 

It feels like being out in the ocean. The only swimmer, trying not to go under. He is the shore but it's not safe to land there.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel you. I had a similar relationship, while we never broke up, we would get in massive fights that would always end up with someone saying maybe we should break up. It was toxic, and I knew it at the time in the back of my mind something wasn't right.

 

But now, I'm 2 months in, and I'm constantly finding that I want her back. It's harder now than it was at the beginning. When we first broke up, I felt like it was a new lease on life and a new beginning. But now, now I can only seem to focus on the good times and not the bad.

 

I've been through this before and I came out fine, which is what I have to keep reminding myself. I thought that girl was the one and only as well, but I was younger then. Now I know better.

 

But I'm not sure there is much to do to help keep the emotional part in check over the logical. Lately, I've started meditating which seems to help keep the millions of thoughts in check.

 

I think at the end of the day, depending upon the person, the emotional side is going to win out. But I would love to be wrong.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...