I don't get it

[Dagger76]

Should my ex still be so uncomfortable or unwilling to be around me almost two years after she cheated and left ? For our kids Soley,im more than done now even though its incredibly heartbreaking.

We do not talk unless its about them. She does not look at me at drop off. I don't bother her anymore after a very short period of blowing up her phone when it happened

I was blindsided.

Thought she was happy she says she wasnt for years. Old story. Lots to it but needless to say i was shocked. We werent even fighting . ****ed another guy to end us for good. Moved on almost immediately with a bunch of other guys and started dating and partying . Wanted the youth she never had having kids at 20 and falling in love and starting a life with me i gues?I have done the emotional rollercoaster and have not always been civil or reasonsble. But ive tried my best to move forward like shes done because she is. Divorcing amicably but im doing it and filing and paying because she had no intention of doing it. But no intentikn of coming bsck. Im doing it to move on

But have tried as best i can considering we share our kids 50/50 l(my oldest is my step kid bit have raised her since she was 6 months old 8 now) i see her at drop off. We don't talk we dont really co parent. She ignores me in public. Wont talk about what happened with me or as far as i know with anyone. Has gone as far as to show up at a place i was working, ignored and pretended she didn't know me and told someone she 'dated a guy working here and now its awkward'. To someone she knew i know!

Our marriage and i didnt exist and she wants nothing to do with me. Left and thst was it and we should kust all accept it. But acts like i did something wrong and seems to not understand why i might still be angry or not be over it. I feel like im the one who cheated!

I have done my best to keep it civil for the kids. I m a very involved dad. 50/50 and pushed to get that legal. Agsin paid for and did the paperwork. try to go to everything and see them constantly . Love being a dad and am lucky i some way my ex prefered being a part time mom. But i think that is something she now regrets but too late.

. After two months she found a new man to pay and provide for her because basically i pretty much cut her off and do nothing for her . Again something i think she cant stand and is mad at me about but i cant be expected to be psssed by in a car like im a stranger and not talked to for weeks and then asked if i hsve any kids asperin or take the kids becsuse she doesnt feel well . I didnt fawn over her enough and this other guy she can dump over and over go grab another guy for a bit then he'll not only ask her back but will pay for a trip as a reward.

Im rambling but the real point is why does she still ignore me? Not look me in the eye? Say shes over it but can't text me without being prissy or argue over **** that isnt even my fault .

I know She doesnt show up to our oldests gymnstics if its just me there and today she tried to make every excuse in the book for me not to be at our daugthers first dentist appointment and when i just tried to explain its impotant to me she flips and bails so now im just going. Of course im tge bad guy becsuse me being there would be a disruption so shes not going to go so im going. Part of me thi ks i got duped into doing something she didn't want to do but in reality its she just doesnt want to be around me.i dont care to see her bur im there for my kid.

She told my oldests dad she moved but couldnt be bothered to tell me. Or tgst she got a roomate. My 8 year old informs me. I told her when i did as a curtisy so she knows where her kids are. But its none of my businesses whst she does with her life now.

I just wonder what her deal is. Yes ive been angry and argumentative. React badly to a lot of the above and its took awhile to get to a point that i dont care. She wants nothing to do with me and im giving her thst mainly for me so i can jusy get on already. It seems to be a problem

Or even friends or barely civil for the kids but when i dont answer every text communication and co parenting is a big deal when before it didnt matter. I dont want to have anything to do with her so im immature.

She wanted out of our marriage. She obviously didn't respect or care enough to do it clean and didn't waste any time moving on. She did everything she could to cut me off and wall up. Bare minimum only for our girls. I know she loved me so mich but that changed.

Now after almost two years and an impending divorce(which i filed because in her words she didn't think we had to for not even financial reasons. She didnt want to change her name ) im there. Hope is done . I dont contact her or talk to her ever. Even over kids stuff as im perfectly used to and capable doing my part on my own. Not dating anyone specific but not a priority right now.

I cut myself off of conversations that begin to become arguments. I do go down tge rabbit hole when she cant understand why the past affects us and why i dont want to communicate or co parent anymore and why i act like 'im the only person on the planet whos ever been cheated on' yeah....

I might have answered my own question but when she left and our youngest wasnt even two and she gave me 50/50 snd then signed a custody agreement making it official, did she not think we would run into each other? That events would come up we'd have to be in the same room together.for a decade minimum. ? If you were tge one to leave but made sure your ex was dtill deeply involved in tge kids life even for sekfish reasons woukdnt you try to be at least nice? Especially if the hurt party tried to?

I get guilt shame blameshifting and her defensive anger over it i suppose but it seems theres more to it. Or on her end better? Im at a faily indifferent point .how can she still be holding a grudge?

Shes been with multiple people since. Gave more of a **** about attention from t the AP than how hurt i was. Bern with her boyfriend on and off for a year but has never tried to come back my way in tve middle or ever because she found someone to replace me and have as a backup. But she keep him far from me and ive never met him even though he is in my kids life. Not that want to but its obvious shes making a point to avoid it.

So why then is she still pissy to me? Tries to poke at my parenting when she knows im a great dad. Bitches when i give her even less reason to text me due to the kids and

I leave her alone. She got what she wanted i don't have anything to do with her. She was over it long ago. Has moved on long ago. It wasnt a big deal and people break up all the time. We argue but i dont make her life hell or involve myself at all.

But then any time we hsve to be around each other even in a crowd apparently she cant stand to be in the same room with me for the kids when i can suck it up. Try to be around her for my kids and be civil and not rake her over the coals in a divorce. She can't get away from me fast enough

Also blocks/unblocks/looked at regularity/blocked aaging my instagram. Hers is private so i cant see it so whsts the point?

And i dont care but its fustrating and confusing . I loved her so much and hate thats its like this and would have done anything to change it. Including forgiving her. And she knows this. But chose to drop me in all ways and i accept that. Took awhlile and still sucks but i do. Why do i get the feeling she hasn't?

Just asking opinions. Not going back. Divorce is on track. I shrug it all off now. Just dont get it