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Ran into a very nervous Ex for the first time in over a year


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 9th November 2017, 4:45 PM   #1
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Ran into a very nervous Ex for the first time in over a year

Happened to run into my ex last night walking on the street. This was the first time we were face to face or even talked by voice in over a year since our break up. She was extremely nervous the whole time we talked for 30+ mins on the street. Her hands were shaking the entire time we talked and half the time she had her head down and turned to the side, could barley look me in the eyes and I had to keep teasing her to stop being so nervous. This was surprising since it was her that kinda started the break up and she also thwarted any attempts to meet up after I first broke the NC rule (which was my idea) after 9 months and after that, despite at first going right back to our 2-3k character texts back and forth she stopped texting me any time I brought up possibly getting back together again.

We had a weird break up which in most part was due to differences in groups of friends and other minor stuff which should have never got in the way. Last thing she said to me via text a month ago was that a big part of her still would like to get back together but she has to work on herself, I really think it's due to what her friends perception would be. She kept saying she's not good getting her emotions out each time I tried to calm her down. The ball has totally been in her court imo but she didn't certainly act that way, it should have been me acting that way. I was actually surprised at myself since I am usually not very talkative and usually shy with my feelings and wasn't nervous especially since I had waited for this moment for a very long time.
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Old 9th November 2017, 4:49 PM   #2
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Awkward situations make some people nervous, and running into an ex is an awkard situation. Heck, I hate even running into casual acquaintances in the grocery store with no warning. It's just how I am. If I ran into my ex? Well, I'd walk the other way lol. I always look for his truck at the grocery store to make sure he isn't there!
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Old 9th November 2017, 5:10 PM   #3
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So how did this 30 minute conversation go? What was the conclusion?
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Old 16th November 2017, 2:15 PM   #4
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So how did this 30 minute conversation go? What was the conclusion?
Not so good apparently, I sent her flowers a few days later just to say how great it was to see her again and I enjoyed talking to her. I never got a response back yet and it's been 5 days.
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Old 16th November 2017, 2:24 PM   #5
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She probably felt put on the spot and really didn't want to be there. Sending the flowers was a bit over the top, too. She's obviously not interested. Pay attention to actions, not words.
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Old 16th November 2017, 5:42 PM   #6
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She probably felt put on the spot and really didn't want to be there. Sending the flowers was a bit over the top, too. She's obviously not interested. Pay attention to actions, not words.

Yeah you're probably right, I only sent her the flowers being that we talked for a good 8-9 months all the time before we dated and she briefly dated one guy and even went back with her ex during that time too. After we eventually winded up dating for awhile she told me how all that time she had hoped to one day be with me. Then during the last text she said a lot of her would like to get back together but she's not in a good place (it's really she's concerned how her friends will see it imo) and isn't seeing anyone and plans on keeping it that way. Normally I would give her time but she is 36 1/2 years old and I'm 42 it's really not like we have much time left to really waste.
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Old 16th November 2017, 7:44 PM   #7
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Yeah you're probably right, I only sent her the flowers being that we talked for a good 8-9 months all the time before we dated and she briefly dated one guy and even went back with her ex during that time too. After we eventually winded up dating for awhile she told me how all that time she had hoped to one day be with me. Then during the last text she said a lot of her would like to get back together but she's not in a good place (it's really she's concerned how her friends will see it imo) and isn't seeing anyone and plans on keeping it that way. Normally I would give her time but she is 36 1/2 years old and I'm 42 it's really not like we have much time left to really waste.
Something to remember, and mind you I remind myself of all this stuff as well, is that she's not necessarily saying what she means, or being completely forthcoming. When there's another guy in the picture there's a lot going on. She may even say there's not, but I don't trust women I'm not dating at all. They're not going to be totally honest with their personal lives. I would not contact her period, and be very careful with your replies. She needs to do the legwork, SHE broke up in the first place.
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Old 17th November 2017, 2:10 AM   #8
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Why do her friends have a negative perception of you?

It just sounds to me as though she was uncomfortable and didn't really want to talk. I would leave it be now.
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Old 17th November 2017, 11:26 AM   #9
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I'll add too;that you really don't know what's going on with her on a personal level. She could be depressed,anxiety,addiction,Anything...It has been a year afterall.
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Old 17th November 2017, 4:21 PM   #10
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Why do her friends have a negative perception of you?

It just sounds to me as though she was uncomfortable and didn't really want to talk. I would leave it be now.
Long story short, we both live in Philadelphia. I'm from the area, she is not. She got into yoga a few years before I first met her and after ending her previous 7 yr relationship she became more friendly with them since all her Friends before were her exs friends. They are all the hipster liberal types and she really isn't and often told me she keeps certain things from them or they won't like her any more (having more republican type leanings, certain personality traits etc). She not only had everything in common with me but also my friends, she is a major sports nut (like could tell you a pitchers current era off the top of her head), she was more herself around my group than her own, the few times I seen her around her group. I'm sure I didn't fit the mold of who they would like her to be with.

She started to get a lot of heat from various friends for her often anti Hillary posts on FB (even though she never mentioned she was votibg for Trump) not to mention co workers were treating her bad for posts political and otheR things which in sure they were telling her it was because of me. She has an identity crisis in all actually and really don't know who she wants to be from what everyone I told the story of our break up says.
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Old 17th November 2017, 4:24 PM   #11
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I'll add too;that you really don't know what's going on with her on a personal level. She could be depressed,anxiety,addiction,Anything...It has been a year afterall.
She always had a lot going on so you're right on that account, aside from the addiction part. The times we talked briefly over the last few months she stated so and told me she isn't emotionally available to be in a relationship right now.
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Old 17th November 2017, 4:32 PM   #12
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She always had a lot going on so you're right on that account, aside from the addiction part. The times we talked briefly over the last few months she stated so and told me she isn't emotionally available to be in a relationship right now.
BS. That's the easy way out instead of telling you straight up she's not interested in you at all. When women dump, they're done, unless it was a situation where they truly loved the guy but he was really screwing up somewhere and left them no choice, like he cheated, addictions, whatever. Most of the time women dump because they lose attraction, and once that's gone you can kiss them goodbye forever.
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Old 17th November 2017, 6:42 PM   #13
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BS. That's the easy way out instead of telling you straight up she's not interested in you at all. When women dump, they're done, unless it was a situation where they truly loved the guy but he was really screwing up somewhere and left them no choice, like he cheated, addictions, whatever. Most of the time women dump because they lose attraction, and once that's gone you can kiss them goodbye forever.
It was more so me that did the dumping in the end. The last day when we took a few days break to talk things out in person after an argument over text there seemed to be a stalemate on some stupid issues. I told her we were just gonna have to break up and this kind of shocked her, we are both stubborn and I think she thought I was going to cave in. We then kind hashed over some what if scenarios then when we just talked afterwards and i mevtioned how we couldn't be friends or even talk to each other anymore this really shocked her and she claimed she is confused and perhaps she just needs some time. I was a idiot I'll admit and figured she would come crawling back (should have known better knowing how long it took me to even get her to go on a date with me all those months) and even when we said our final goodbye she asked a few times if it would be ok if she calls or texts me in a few weeks and I flat out told her no, that was it, no contact at all for 9 months till I finally texted her.
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Old 18th November 2017, 8:23 AM   #14
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If I'm being honest she acted guilty like she had remorse seeing you.
The reason why I say this is because I had an ex that cheated on me and any time she would run into me in public she would get nervous and flighty.
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