Breaking up is hard to do

[rlc1957]

I recently asked a long time gf who had become my fiancé to move out over money matters. It is my opinion that money is one of the biggest problems couples can face. That and sex, as well as poor communication.

In the 3 years that we have lived together, at my request, she paid nothing toward my mortgage, utilities, etc that dealt with the house. She moved into my house. I had asked her a number of times to put money away for some things we both knew were coming up. Her daughter had a major problem and she had no money to help her daughter. My fiancé is not a young woman but has developed no money skills and no sense of financial responsibility. I refuse to expose myself financially with her and feel this is a lifelong habit which would lead to long term marriage problems.

 

 

She has an income that nets her almost $3000.00 a month and has only a phone and some groceries to pay for. Rest has been spent on impulse shopping and such.

She will struggle on her own but I don't feel its my fault.

 

 

I have feelings for her but I also have worked a really long time quite hard for my livelihood and pension that will soon take effect. I feel I need to cut my losses and protect myself and my children.

 

 

Thanks

[d0nnivain]

You didn't ask, but I think you did the right thing. Financially responsible people can't be with financially irresponsible people. It always ends in a fight.

[rlc1957]

You didn't ask, but I think you did the right thing. Financially responsible people can't be with financially irresponsible people. It always ends in a fight.

 

Thank you for your answer. I have hoped that I was doing the right thing. I do still care for her and know this will be hard for her in many ways.

[spiderowl]

I can understand why you gave up on this relationship. You are careful with money; she is impulsive and irresponsible. Her way would end up with you always having to be the responsible one who bales her out and pays the bills. It's not a fair situation. At some level, you realised she is unlikely to change. It sounds a wise decision.

[Been]

They never change. At some point she would have more then likely put you into debt. And gathering what you said about her age she has been doing this for awhile.

I don't know why certain people are incapable of finances because it isn't that hard to do. I would venture to say someone-family or boyfriends have always bailed or helped her out.