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Day 3 of no contact


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

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Old 25th September 2017, 12:59 PM   #1
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Day 3 of no contact

After ending a 5 year relationship because my other half has double standards and have discovered he was lying to me all along.
I have blocked him on social media accounts, deleted his phone number and all correspondence we've ever had, photos, everything has been deleted. I am on day 3 of no contact. It's hard and i am struggling.
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Old 25th September 2017, 1:29 PM   #2
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I'm two weeks into NC. One of the best things for me is to just find a place to cry and scream, into a pillow if I have to. There's turmoil inside that you have to vent. Punch a pillow if you have to if you feel any anger like I did. Express your thoughts to a friend or on this thread. Write in a journal about what you want to say to him and don't show him. He doesn't deserve any more of your precious time at that point.
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Old 25th September 2017, 2:30 PM   #3
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I'm sorry you are struggling. Even when break up & NC are the right things to do, they still hurt. Hang in there & stay strong.
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Old 25th September 2017, 2:34 PM   #4
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Sorry to hear that. It gets better. I'm about 5 weeks of NC right now.

Get out there, work out, hang with friends, cry if you need to, stay active and keep your mind occupied.

It's not easy but it gets easier.
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Old 25th September 2017, 5:03 PM   #5
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Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words of advice and support. Much appreciated and valued.
I deleted his number so I am not able to contact him. I do feel the urge to contact but i know he will either ignore me or abuse me, so there's no point in even bothering to reach out. Trying to stay focused on me.
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Old 26th September 2017, 1:31 PM   #6
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I entered into Day 4 of no contact today - oh my I didn't think it was going to be this hard. I had a mini melt down at work. I then tried to distract myself by taking a long walk on the beach, went and treated myself to a pedicure and some chocolate and coffee after that.
This feeling of wanting to talk/contact him is driving me mad.
I know that nothing will come out of contact, he wouldn't reply to me if I did reach out and if on the off chance he did, he would be cold and cruel, so reaching out is not an option but i hate that my stupid heart is missing him.
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Old 26th September 2017, 2:02 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CeciliaCylara View Post
Write in a journal about what you want to say to him and don't show him.
I found that this helped me immensely. I have about 25 outright letters I wrote at this point, 3 or 4 "reasons why she is not the girl for me" kind of notes, and a few "Why I feel bad for the guy she's with now" kind of notes. If you haven't tried this, I would absolutely recommend it. Use a bullet journal, use Google Keep, or whatever you need to push all the negative emotions out onto something.
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Old 26th September 2017, 2:08 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Jchav123 View Post
I found that this helped me immensely. I have about 25 outright letters I wrote at this point, 3 or 4 "reasons why she is not the girl for me" kind of notes, and a few "Why I feel bad for the guy she's with now" kind of notes. If you haven't tried this, I would absolutely recommend it. Use a bullet journal, use Google Keep, or whatever you need to push all the negative emotions out onto something.
Thank you for this. I am going to try it. I have journalled as such but i have written him long letters (that i never sent) to get my emotions out on paper.
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Old 29th September 2017, 1:14 PM   #9
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I am on day 7 and really struggling!
Trying to get through the days.
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Old 29th September 2017, 6:56 PM   #10
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21+ DAYS NC - recovering

21+ DAYS NC. it does not get easier. when you think it does there can be setbacks, which are actually worse than the first few days.

around 7-14 days it got better, but then I would get text messages about personal items in a tone that was very business-as-usual. it felt like a knife in the heart.

another thing to look out for is when things go wrong unrelated to your SO. I had a terrible work day and I knew if I was in my relationship those mistakes wouldn't have happened... falling out of my routine in my relationship left me disorganized in other areas.

14-21 day of NC. you force yourself to go out. you meet ppl and even go on a couple of dates. you realize the ppl you're dating don't compare to your SO. its very unfulfilling at this point. i don't feel the need to break NC or initiate contact, but I feel empty. a piece of my life is missing.

I've never had a drug addiction before - I sense that this is what a heroin withdrawl feels like.
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Old 29th September 2017, 10:35 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by cocoa342 View Post
After ending a 5 year relationship because my other half has double standards and have discovered he was lying to me all along. I have blocked him on social media accounts, deleted his phone number and all correspondence we've ever had, photos, everything has been deleted. I am on day 3 of no contact. It's hard and i am struggling.

After a 3 year relationship, I am on NC for close to 3 months. For me, time has made each day easier. Sure, I think about him.....and I do wish him well. But, when I start feeling sad over the break-up, I remind myself WHY he was not the right guy for me and it helps.

You have done all the right things - NC; blocked all social media, contacts, etc....When you are having a bad NC day, concentrate on HIS negatives and realize you are where you are for a reason, and know YOU will be fine...without him.
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Old 30th September 2017, 2:47 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by TwinFlameGone View Post
21+ DAYS NC. it does not get easier. when you think it does there can be setbacks, which are actually worse than the first few days.

around 7-14 days it got better, but then I would get text messages about personal items in a tone that was very business-as-usual. it felt like a knife in the heart.

another thing to look out for is when things go wrong unrelated to your SO. I had a terrible work day and I knew if I was in my relationship those mistakes wouldn't have happened... falling out of my routine in my relationship left me disorganized in other areas.

14-21 day of NC. you force yourself to go out. you meet ppl and even go on a couple of dates. you realize the ppl you're dating don't compare to your SO. its very unfulfilling at this point. i don't feel the need to break NC or initiate contact, but I feel empty. a piece of my life is missing.

I've never had a drug addiction before - I sense that this is what a heroin withdrawl feels like.
I am sorry that you too are going through a difficult time with no contact.
Just entered day 8 and I fell into a heap today. Tried to sleep during the day, curtains closed, didn't want to know there is a world outside and spent the entire day crying and feeling sorry for myself. All week have been trying to be strong but it really got me today. I haven't eaten all day, feel weak and like i am barely functioning. This is a disaster.
Was your break up a nasty one?
Mine can't contact me as he is blocked everywhere and he has to much ego to try to contact anyway.
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Old 30th September 2017, 2:49 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by HarmonyDriven View Post
After a 3 year relationship, I am on NC for close to 3 months. For me, time has made each day easier. Sure, I think about him.....and I do wish him well. But, when I start feeling sad over the break-up, I remind myself WHY he was not the right guy for me and it helps.

You have done all the right things - NC; blocked all social media, contacts, etc....When you are having a bad NC day, concentrate on HIS negatives and realize you are where you are for a reason, and know YOU will be fine...without him.
Well done on getting so far with no contact and being ok with it and thanks for sharing to give those of us not as far forward as you that there's hope.
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Old 30th September 2017, 2:51 PM   #14
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I wish I could stop the tears from flowing.
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Old 30th September 2017, 4:53 PM   #15
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OP, it is a-ok and quite normal to be feeling the way you are. Allowing yourself to feel "these feelings" is a step toward healing. Sounds weird but true.

If you need to cry all day, do it.

Accept the end of the relationship. Take time to learn from what you had/did not have in the relationship and apply in your life from this day forward. Sounds corny but makes sense.

Remember, you both did not meet each other's needs in some way. There will be someone else out there for you, someone who is a better match for you. This is so true!

YOU will be fine and know it is ok to feel how you are feeling and as each day passes, it will get better. Sure, there will be days where it feels worse but overall it gets better.

You will get to a point where you might feel sad sometimes, but the crying stops. It just happens. Stay positive.
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