xexipete Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 My ex gf broke up with me before 2 months, after going for year and a half. So I went through sadness, crying and everything, the last struggle was my nostalgia which got me really hard, but i succesfully coped with that (i think so..). After talking with my friend I realized that she wasn't worth for me, I completely dedicated to her, while she didn't. And after all, she said that she wanted to be friends, but after some time she started ignoring me... The hardest struggle is the ignore I got from her, the person you have dedicated all your time, love, throws that away in one minute, and after some week, she barely even talks to you. Like you didn't have anything in common.. I also miss passion and intimacy I had with her... Please give me advices how to get through the ignoration and through the nostalgia.. x.x Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 The only advice I can offer you is to count your blessing. When you break up, being apart & not talking is the most effective way to facilitate healing. If she was kind to you & offered you friendship which would only be a watered down substitute for the romance you want you would have false unrealistic hope & would not have gotten the message that it was over. In the end it would have been more cruel for her to have pretended to be kind. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zul Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 I understand the nostaliga thing perfectly. It is the most difficult thing for me to get over. Remembering all of the wonderful and happy memories we shared, that feeling that I got when we were together, and I remember the first few months that we dated how amazing I felt everyday knowing that I was dating someone, and I wanted them and they wanted me. When things end, we tend to focus only on the good things. That is why you have so much nostalgia, because you remember all the good memories and times and it is difficult to focus on the bad ones. It is something that with time will cease, because I still remember all of the good times we had and suffer nostalgia even a year post-breakup, but with time it is getting easier and easier; especially when I dig down and see how terrible of a person she was in the times that we weren't having a good time. You will soon find someone else that you will make amazing memories with, too and you will be happy and will have an even better time and will not be looking back at what was, but will be focusing on what is. Best of luck. It gets easier with time my friend. Trust me on this. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
breadbin Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 Fill your life with new memories. Spend your time with the three F's. Friends, family and fun. Time is the best way to get over the break up. It's like a jail sentence. The time has to be done, but it's what you do within the time that can make it go easier, quicker etc. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 For what it's worth, it's kind of a knee-jerk reaction during a breakup for one or both to blurt out "but we can still be friends" but the truth is if either is still invested, it really can't be close friends but more like polite acquaintances. Breaking up always seems like such a radical change, so you kind of grasp at retaining some of it for security. But then you have to realize it will only hold you back from moving forward, either emotionally or literally because the other person is still a presence in your life that a new date will not tolerate. I'm sure she's ignoring you for both your own good. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 A lot of people offer to remain friends because it seems really harsh to just cut you off. It doesn't mean they actually want to be friends in the way you are thinking. They mean they want to be acquaintances on good terms without any bad feelings between the two of you. They want to be able to say HI if you see them at the grocery store and ask how your family is. They don't actually mean they want to invest in an actual friendship. They probably hope you will realize this and go away on your own. In summation, I wouldn't get hung up on a ex saying they wanted friendship when they dumped you. Don't hang onto that. Link to post Share on other sites
XxxEmxxxx Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 My ex also wanted to be friends, his definition of friendship is very different to mine so I deciddd for me the only way to try and move forward is to cut contact. It seems like the most difficult thing in the world but the truth is things are different now. Though it may not seem like it your ex girlfriend has given you the space you need to move forward and build your life again. It's only now that you will truly be able to heal and find you again. It's a difficult path, six months later and I'm not fully there yet but everyday things get easier. Link to post Share on other sites
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