Spiritbrood Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 So everything was fine until this weekend when my wife went to drop my step son off at his grand Permanent. My wife came back on a Monday told me I'm leaving you for my ex. I'm still in love with him when I seen him I knew I loved him still. They were together for 14 years her first relation ship. So she told me she loved me and she said she knew I was a better man for her and her kids but she had to do this. So while we been together this man has broken a car window a phone and was abuusive to her emotionally and in language. So she said she made up her mind and was going. She left my son with me cause I was not comfortable with that. So she packed up to bags and flew off 1300 miles away to her home state. Since then she has called once about her child and he didn't want to speak to her. He is 3 years old. I don't wish her any harm and I'm glad she is gone for mental sake. But why do I find myself worrying about her? Why do I feel as if in like 6 months she will be calling to come back? And what do I do if this happens? Any advice would greatly be appreciated. I already am going to get a lawyer once I get some money saved up. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 Don't be a chump here man. She's told you and shown you who she is. Believe her!!!!! Hard 180. She abandoned you and her child no hood mother or woman would even think of doing such a thing. File as soon as possible so you can get custody of your child. Your wife is bat **** crazy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Altair0770 Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 Damn dude, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'd talk to a lawyer and attorney. This one seems a bit out of my league. Hope everything works out for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Nogan Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 Regardless of what you'd like to see happen with your wife, you have a child to think about. You need to keep her away from him. Lawyer up, get full custody. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 Would you want to renew a relationship with a woman who abandoned you and a three year old child for an abusive man? Why or why not? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 But why do I find myself worrying about her? Because this is someone you cared a great deal for, and she's the mother of your children. Of course you're worried. Why do I feel as if in like 6 months she will be calling to come back? And what do I do if this happens? She might. I wouldn't take her back. Any advice would greatly be appreciated. I already am going to get a lawyer once I get some money saved up. I hope this isn't one of those things that we tell ourselves we'll "save up for" and then we choose to spend on other priorities and somehow never come up with the money. Find an attorney through a referral from your state bar. Call the attorney and find out how much it will cost to have a consultation. You may very likely already have the money for the consultation, or it shouldn't be too hard to come up with. Got any family members who will lend you money? I think you should get on this very quickly while your wife is distracted by her new fling. I don't think your goal should be to keep her away from her kid/s, but you should try for custody arrangements that keep the kids away from the new fling, if at all possible. Start documenting everything. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 why do I find myself worrying about her? Because you love her. You can't just turn off emotions like a light switch. But, now is the time to think with your head, not your heart. She has made her decision clear and you have to accept it. You marriage is, I'm afraid, over. Even if she came back would you really want her back - someone who would just abandon you and your child and go off with an abusive ex? Your wife is supposed to have your back and be the one person you can rely on above all others. She has proven that she can'#t be relied upon, even if she comes back and says it was all a big mistake, who's to say it won't happen all over again next month or next year or in 5 years? She has shown that you are disposable to her. Why do I feel as if in like 6 months she will be calling to come back? And what do I do if this happens? Because she probably will. And what you should do, is tell her that she has made her decision. Well in 6 months time the divorce will be well and truly underway anyway, right? I already am going to get a lawyer once I get some money saved up. You should see a lawyer BEFORE getting any money saved up! Find one that does a free initial consultation. You can pick up LOADS of help and advice in that free half hour and you're under no commitment to retain them. Just remember to stick to facts with the lawyer; don't waste your free time talking about feelings; that's what counsellors (and forums!) are for. Just stick to the practicalities, finances and childcare arrangements. Presumably since your wife's ex is abusive, you'll have no problem getting full custody since this would clearly be in the child's best interests. Once you've seen the lawyer, see another lawyer for another free consultation. And another. The lawyers will discuss fees and give you an estimate based on your individual case. Then you will know how much you'll need and can start to save, or work out some way of financing it. But it's always better to start the lawyer process and get professional advice, sooner rather than later. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 I cannot stress this enough. GET A LAWYER NOW!!!! Get one while she is out of state. You can get full custody of your son because your lawyer will have the easiest time of proving that she abandoned you and your son and no longer lives in the state. Guy's normally get screwed over in family courts. So, if you wait too long on this, she may find her way back your your state and then she has a better shot of getting custody of your son because courts prefer the mother to be the custodial parent. SEE A LAWYER NOW!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 Get a lawyer NOW. File for abandonment. Get full custody as per the law. File for divorce. Never let her come back. Find someone that will be true. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 Also, get your states child protective service involved. Let them know what has happened. Tell them about the violence of her ex and your fear of your son to be around him. Get an order where she can not show up and take your son with her. Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 Damn dude, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'd talk to a lawyer and attorney. This one seems a bit out of my league. Hope everything works out for you.Right answer lol Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 Good riddance to bad rubbish. She is another woman who only cares about her sexual needs over what is best for her child. She will put up with anything because he fulfills her sexually. Just selfish and foolish. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 Good riddance to bad rubbish. She is another woman who only cares about her sexual needs over what is best for her child. She will put up with anything because he fulfills her sexually. Just selfish and foolish. These are not sexual needs... Mentally, she is not freed from the abuse... Link to post Share on other sites
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