Real36 Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 He did it at around 9pm. He said the spark was gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Real36 Posted June 3, 2017 Author Share Posted June 3, 2017 Thanks. I'm mostly fine. I should be! I've been through this a million times. The hard part is being 35 years old and knowing that there isn't a single person on this planet who wants to be with me regularly. No one misses me, thinks about me, or wonders what I'm doing. It's literally just me. And a chihuahua...but that's it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Real36 Posted June 3, 2017 Author Share Posted June 3, 2017 It wasn't out of the blue. My intuition is spot on and I've been preparing myself for this all week. I posted a couple of months ago about how our sex life was at 0-1. He has always proclaimed (and continues to) how much he loves me, but that just isn't enough sometimes. I've been around this block a few times. I'm 35 now and I think that its probably just my lot in life to go it alone. My parents, my brother, and 4 aunts and uncles are all single. It's sort of a tradition in my family! He said that the spark was gone and that we were both settling. He wasn't wrong. Months and months ago I brought this up too. He cried and cried and said that sexual issues weren't worth breaking up over so we stuck it out only to end like this. He won't admit it but I'm pretty sure that my weight gain of 30 lbs plays a big part in the whole thing. Even though he gained that much at least and possibly more while we were together too, it really only matters for the female in the relationship. This proves what I have always known to be true but have spent years talking myself out of... there is no security or safety in romantic relationships. Anything can happen at any time, don't get comfortable. Thanks to anyone who has read this. I will probably use this forum for a lot of musings and reflections on life for the next few months. It has been here for me so many times in the last 5 or so years. Any support is welcomed! Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 Thanks. I'm mostly fine. I should be! I've been through this a million times. The hard part is being 35 years old and knowing that there isn't a single person on this planet who wants to be with me regularly. No one misses me, thinks about me, or wonders what I'm doing. It's literally just me. And a chihuahua...but that's it. What about girlfriends? After my most recent breakup, I looked around me and realized that at age 50, I had no close gfs, no bff, no "sisters". I'm taking this time to invest in friendships with women, and it's been wonderful. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 It wasn't out of the blue. My intuition is spot on and I've been preparing myself for this all week. I posted a couple of months ago about how our sex life was at 0-1. He has always proclaimed (and continues to) how much he loves me, but that just isn't enough sometimes. I've been around this block a few times. I'm 35 now and I think that its probably just my lot in life to go it alone. My parents, my brother, and 4 aunts and uncles are all single. It's sort of a tradition in my family! He said that the spark was gone and that we were both settling. He wasn't wrong. Months and months ago I brought this up too. He cried and cried and said that sexual issues weren't worth breaking up over so we stuck it out only to end like this. He won't admit it but I'm pretty sure that my weight gain of 30 lbs plays a big part in the whole thing. Even though he gained that much at least and possibly more while we were together too, it really only matters for the female in the relationship. This proves what I have always known to be true but have spent years talking myself out of... there is no security or safety in romantic relationships. Anything can happen at any time, don't get comfortable. Thanks to anyone who has read this. I will probably use this forum for a lot of musings and reflections on life for the next few months. It has been here for me so many times in the last 5 or so years. Any support is welcomed! Well, anyone who would dump you because 30 pounds and the spark is gone wasn't mostly just in it for sex anyway and not going to be a good life partner. I mean, the spark IS gone in most marriages especially when there's babies and toddlers ruling the roost. What a shallow, shallow reason to throw someone away. You didn't throw him away for it. I just don't think he knows what love is. He thinks love is loving to have sex.... I've been on my own (now 64) and to me it's a lot less trouble and chaos. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Real36 Posted June 3, 2017 Author Share Posted June 3, 2017 Fish, I have some close friends that I have know forever and they are there for me. I'll get to spend more time with them now. That's at plus. We're going to Europe in a month so I have something nice to look forward to. Peraph, I have been alone for the majority of my adult life and am very comfortable with it. It's gonna take some time to adjust back to that life but I will get there and I will be fine in the long run. He doesn't understand love at all. I schooled him on that a little last night. I told him that passion doesn't last and that relationships are based on compassionate and companionate love. He has a friend that recently moved back to town after a break up and they are living together. I think the allure of partying all the time and living the single life are just too much for him to pass up. He's 37 by the way. It really is for the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Real36 Posted June 4, 2017 Author Share Posted June 4, 2017 I'm not really mourning him or the relationship we had. I'm mourning another failure to be enough. It's not my fault. I am who I am and I like me but it just feels pretty ****ty to know that no one else does. Link to post Share on other sites
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