Gave my heart to a user

[Lostsoul112]

Hi everyone.

 

I met this guy on Tinder (I know, I know). I went on it for a laugh to be honest because my job doesn't allow me socialise much.

 

We matched and he seemed nice. He messaged me and we started talkiing a lot. He is in the RAF and Scottish. He was in the States due to his job and we matched as he had been in my city on a stag do. We exchanged numbers and we chatted every single day even with the 5 hour time diffeeence. We video chatted too. He said he had fallen out of love with his ex and had been previously married before that. He was relentless in his pursuit and I was very taken with him and shocked when he said he loved me after 2 weeks (that should have been a massive red flag and I would have normally acknowledged it...) and I found i loved him too (idiot idiot idiot!!). He wanted us to meet and I was keen for it to happen so I booked a ticket to see him in Scotland (omg you idiot) when he came back there from America.

 

Everything was perfect, wer chatted a lot and I was very much in love and excited to see him in person. The day finally came after 6 weeks of us chatting and i flew out to be with him foe the weekend. He was more handsome in person. We had an amazing weekend together and we went to the beaches near Inverness and I fell in love with the place. He talked abot our future a lot and I was very shocked when he said he wanted us to work and could see us together for a long time and was in love with me etc. I went home happy.

 

3 days later I get dumped by text while I was at work, stating he can't do this, he is still in love with his ex and I am too nice to be with someone like him. This came out of nowhere. I knew she was coming up the following week to collect the rest of her things from his flat but I didn't think I had anything to worry about. He blocked me so i couldn't respond. He had lied about having no FB because I found him. I couldn't believe how he had deceived me. I felt so cheap and worthless. I found his ex on there (we watched a series on Netflix and saw her account still on there) and I was stunned that he had "heart" her profile pic the day after he dumped me. I found it so hard to cope i didn't know what to do. I messaged him on FB because I was hurt that he didn't even have the decency to give me closure. He never responded and blocked me on that too.

 

I hurt for days (why you idiot?) and I just asked why he did this when I spwnt money to go up and see him. I wondered if his ex knew about me and so for my own sanity, I decided to message her. I was done with putting others first and decided to do what was right for me. Not just that, I know in her position I'd eant to know. I messaged her and she said he told her what he did and that they were only separated and are niw back together and I am not the only one he did this to. So essentially, he declardd his love to more than one woman while they were "separated" and she still took him back?! I felt pity for her. He didn't tell her because he respects her, he told her cause he knows she is a mug and would take him back. It kinda looked like she was taking a dig at me with that remark. I felt sorry for her because clearly she has no self respect and no respect for her gender. If he had ran around declaring his love left right and centre to women, used them, lied to them and dumped them and tried to come back to me, my self respect would tell him to **** off - separation or not. She did what he couldn't. Give me closure and it looks like I had a lucky escape. Still makes me feel like **** that I got used and discarded like a piece of furniture but at least he spared me the hassle he has in store for her. Men like that don't learn and she didn't sound surprised by what I said, more concerned by how I found her on FB and I doubt he was 100% truthful. That's the thing with texting, you can't tell about emotions.

 

I know i should be happy I escaped but I feel like a first class moron. I was so careful but I got sucked in by his words. I have my good days and bad days and i know I will let go. I deleted his number, pictures and messages and blocked his now not anymore ex gf on FB. I guess I am more hurt he did thid after I made all that effort. I deleted my Tinder too. More trouble than it's worth!!

[Lostsoul112]

My spelling is awful I am on my iPhone so i apologise.

[preraph]

I'm sorry. He should never have let you spend money coming to see him. Very irresponsible of him. No wonder he blocked you because he knows he has a good butt-kicking coming.

 

Now, stop kicking yourself. But lesson learned about not spending money to go meet guys. Let them come to you. Then you know if they're serious and solvent (well if they have plenty of money they may just be spending it to get laid, you never really know). Anyway, I hope you at least got to see Scotland a little so it wasn't a total loss and didn't get coerced into eating the haggas.

[Goodguy05]

Wat an a-hole he gives us men a bad name...the good thing moving forward it wss very brief so healing won't take as long. Very t and vent and cry and u shld be good as gold and hopefully can questions in on the ole red flag wth a lil more dicsernemnet. It's an art lol im not that good at it either made loads of mistakes wth woman and never saw things coming or true colours till we split u definatly have my sympathies

[Captivating]

Aww LostSoul,

I am sorry that you are hurting.

You seem to see things correctly in every aspect and I like the fact

that you were "investigating" and solved the puzzle. Took things into your own hand.

I agree with you, he is not a loss.

You miss the illusion he presented, not him.

Also, I liked the style you wrote, it made me smile ....and just know that you are not alone in the "first class moron " club, I am a member there too !!! yay !