After 5 years she leaves me!

[Laxen]

Hello everyone,

 

I'm new to this forum and not a native english speaker so I hope you guys can understand me well anyway. This is probably gonna be a long text and it's super appreciated if you want to read it and make me feel better.

 

Last week my girlfriend of over five years left me because she found fling at work. The day before we had been out with my brother and her working college and I had to head home at around 23.30 because of some stuff. My ex and her working college met up with my ex sister and partied all night long. She wakes me up the next day and says she loves me, but she doesn't get butterflies in her stomach anymore. Apparently she get those at this new guy she's been checking out for two months at work. The only thing I'm happy about is that she didn't do any sexual with him (a friend of mine was with her sister when I went home). But they had been speaking about how much they loved each other et cetera.

 

She broke up with me in less than 10 minutes before she went crying to her moms. Then the day after we spent like one hour on the phone in the morning and then another our in the evening asking ourselves like "wtf just happened". First she told me she made a mistake, then at the evening she said it wasn't. She said I hadn't paid attention to her in the last 6 months and that she had tried her best! I can only agree with her, because it's true. My parents divorced, our dog died, I had work stuff, my bachelor thesis+other school stuff in uni, my dads best friend dying and seeing him getting carried away in a body bag and some other stuff. So the last six months has been hell for me and I've been more queit then I usually am. However my ex was and still is on a lot of anti-deppressant, anxiety meds, trying to get her weight good (had anorexia, going up, then down again etc). So I've been supporting her for over 5 years and then when I have a little dip she just leaves me. It wasn't like I was depressed et cetera, I just FOCUSED on school and other stuff since I'm done with all that in about a month.

 

What hurts the most is that less than two weeks ago she did a pregnancy test, it was negative... We talked about having kids and so on since I'm ending university. She always wanted kids and she's 30, I'm 24. The new guy she's meeting is only 22 so when it comes down to kids I don't know what she was thinking. The only thing I can do is to accept that she found another guy and just move on. It's so hard that she found another one, because she was so jelous in our relationship and I was super casual and let her do exactly like she wanted. She always had me in a leach and didn't let me do stuff with friends et cetera.

 

We met up 4 days after we broke up because I had some things to get at her place that I didn't took with me when I left. I told her I was very sad that she was gonna ride his dick this weekend not even thinking about what we had together or anything. Her reply was "Well, that's non of your business now. I can do whatever I want and yes, it will happen and you can't do anything about it. This is about us, and we're gonna talk about what happend in our relationship". She was crying when we spoke, I did as well because I was sad and still in love with her. She said she wanted to be friends still and I said that I don't want to see her for a while which she respected. We never argued in our relationship or anything, I never even screamed at her during those 5 years we were together. The only thing she didn't like was that when I was starting school I didn't want kids and I didn't want to get married with her.

 

Then the day after that her mother wanted to see me. She told me I was like a son to her and that she really loved me. It was a good talk and I have to say I appreciated that she wanted to talk to me! Of course she was on her daugthers side from the start which I knew. We didn't say anything bad about our relationship, we just talked about those 5 years and what a cool ride it been!

 

The text is probably messy and some stuff maybe will seem weird since it's my 2nd language. However I don't really know what to do. I blocked her on FB ONLY TO UNBLOCK HER and tell her that "I'm going to block you for a couple of weeks on Facebook until everything calms down. I hope that's okey". She said it was. However when I was going to block her again, facebook had a 48 hour cooldown on the block function. Now when I was going to block her again, I ADDED HER AS A FRIEND INSTEAD. I don't even know what I did, I was like "no way did I just do this". I'm to afraid to put the block on. I've been checking her social media one time everyday. I've been reading a lot about do's and don'ts but I'm still doing some don'ts.

I miss her like crazy and she still has some stuff at my dads place to get. It's a big thing which she has to carry so she really has to get here. The problem is so fast that I see her or anything I just get sad. The last two days has been "okey", I'm not crying but I'm sad. When I see her again, all the feelings will come back and I'll get sad and angry ;/.

 

What do you make of this? I go from sad, angry, mad, frustrated and happy in about 10 minutes. She broke my heart and already moved on!

[Goodguy05]

Hello everyone,

 

I'm new to this forum and not a native english speaker so I hope you guys can understand me well anyway. This is probably gonna be a long text and it's super appreciated if you want to read it and make me feel better.

 

Last week my girlfriend of over five years left me because she found fling at work. The day before we had been out with my brother and her working college and I had to head home at around 23.30 because of some stuff. My ex and her working college met up with my ex sister and partied all night long. She wakes me up the next day and says she loves me, but she doesn't get butterflies in her stomach anymore. Apparently she get those at this new guy she's been checking out for two months at work. The only thing I'm happy about is that she didn't do any sexual with him (a friend of mine was with her sister when I went home). But they had been speaking about how much they loved each other et cetera.

 

She broke up with me in less than 10 minutes before she went crying to her moms. Then the day after we spent like one hour on the phone in the morning and then another our in the evening asking ourselves like "wtf just happened". First she told me she made a mistake, then at the evening she said it wasn't. She said I hadn't paid attention to her in the last 6 months and that she had tried her best! I can only agree with her, because it's true. My parents divorced, our dog died, I had work stuff, my bachelor thesis+other school stuff in uni, my dads best friend dying and seeing him getting carried away in a body bag and some other stuff. So the last six months has been hell for me and I've been more queit then I usually am. However my ex was and still is on a lot of anti-deppressant, anxiety meds, trying to get her weight good (had anorexia, going up, then down again etc). So I've been supporting her for over 5 years and then when I have a little dip she just leaves me. It wasn't like I was depressed et cetera, I just FOCUSED on school and other stuff since I'm done with all that in about a month.

 

What hurts the most is that less than two weeks ago she did a pregnancy test, it was negative... We talked about having kids and so on since I'm ending university. She always wanted kids and she's 30, I'm 24. The new guy she's meeting is only 22 so when it comes down to kids I don't know what she was thinking. The only thing I can do is to accept that she found another guy and just move on. It's so hard that she found another one, because she was so jelous in our relationship and I was super casual and let her do exactly like she wanted. She always had me in a leach and didn't let me do stuff with friends et cetera.

 

We met up 4 days after we broke up because I had some things to get at her place that I didn't took with me when I left. I told her I was very sad that she was gonna ride his dick this weekend not even thinking about what we had together or anything. Her reply was "Well, that's non of your business now. I can do whatever I want and yes, it will happen and you can't do anything about it. This is about us, and we're gonna talk about what happend in our relationship". She was crying when we spoke, I did as well because I was sad and still in love with her. She said she wanted to be friends still and I said that I don't want to see her for a while which she respected. We never argued in our relationship or anything, I never even screamed at her during those 5 years we were together. The only thing she didn't like was that when I was starting school I didn't want kids and I didn't want to get married with her.

 

Then the day after that her mother wanted to see me. She told me I was like a son to her and that she really loved me. It was a good talk and I have to say I appreciated that she wanted to talk to me! Of course she was on her daugthers side from the start which I knew. We didn't say anything bad about our relationship, we just talked about those 5 years and what a cool ride it been!

 

The text is probably messy and some stuff maybe will seem weird since it's my 2nd language. However I don't really know what to do. I blocked her on FB ONLY TO UNBLOCK HER and tell her that "I'm going to block you for a couple of weeks on Facebook until everything calms down. I hope that's okey". She said it was. However when I was going to block her again, facebook had a 48 hour cooldown on the block function. Now when I was going to block her again, I ADDED HER AS A FRIEND INSTEAD. I don't even know what I did, I was like "no way did I just do this". I'm to afraid to put the block on. I've been checking her social media one time everyday. I've been reading a lot about do's and don'ts but I'm still doing some don'ts.

I miss her like crazy and she still has some stuff at my dads place to get. It's a big thing which she has to carry so she really has to get here. The problem is so fast that I see her or anything I just get sad. The last two days has been "okey", I'm not crying but I'm sad. When I see her again, all the feelings will come back and I'll get sad and angry ;/.

 

What do you make of this? I go from sad, angry, mad, frustrated and happy in about 10 minutes. She broke my heart and already moved on!

 

 

1st off sorry to hear mate i can relate my 6 yr relationship ended 6 mths ago read my thread same thing a work colleague however we also work together.

 

Some points she's weak and not a keeper I donno why but a lot of woman appear to be like this not saying all but they hav zero loyalty as soon as it gets a lil hard like you mentioned they're gone.

 

You stuck it out with her despite her issues just like mine she had kids custody battles you name it.

 

Me and you are better off I know you don't see this now but she was a user.

 

Let her go bro 5 yrs is a long time i know but ask yourself the trouble you will have trying to hold on. That is a huge amount of pressure on you the moneny your attention is somehere else she wants out. She needs to get a life lol best of luck

[Goodguy05]

Btw your handling the initial stage quiet well from the sounds of it it appears you'll get over pretty quickly you should of seen me i was a mess I never contacted her though call that experience lol. I would hyperventilate have panic attacks cry alot and yes go through all those feelings 7 mths down the track it's become manageable but I still get angry and stuff but miss her less and less. I'm beginning to think all woman are like this just bail when they're is an issue. Im at that stage where I really don't believe in what I hear a woman tell me and that's not good i hope to heal this trust issues I have now. My ex would say all these wonderful things soulmate etc how it's important to stick together through the tough times lol ye right. Later what became evident was that yeshe it wss important for her to get through her issues and when everything was ok goodbye lol there trash dude let em go she'll most likely do to himake what she did to u

[Laxen]

Btw your handling the initial stage quiet well from the sounds of it it appears you'll get over pretty quickly you should of seen me i was a mess I never contacted her though call that experience lol. I would hyperventilate have panic attacks cry alot and yes go through all those feelings 7 mths down the track it's become manageable but I still get angry and stuff but miss her less and less. I'm beginning to think all woman are like this just bail when they're is an issue. Im at that stage where I really don't believe in what I hear a woman tell me and that's not good i hope to heal this trust issues I have now. My ex would say all these wonderful things soulmate etc how it's important to stick together through the tough times lol ye right. Later what became evident was that yeshe it wss important for her to get through her issues and when everything was ok goodbye lol there trash dude let em go she'll most likely do to himake what she did to u

 

 

She said we were soulmates and her mother was so happy she met a guy who treat her well. I'm very sad, I was crying the first two days and when I met her and her mom I cried. I try not to think about it, but I've been through this another time when I was 17 with a girl I was together for with 5 months. But she was seeing like 4 different boys. So I felt this before kind off. I just wish she would have stayed since I stayed for her! I don't know what to do right now. I don't have ANY strength to finish all the stuff I have to do. Every single day since our breakup I've been doing stuff with friends et cetera. It feels good, but I kinda miss her body, smell, breath and well everything. It feels like I'll never ever get that again!

 

EDIT: Thanks for your kind words and I'll be reading your posts tomorrow. I have to go to bed now but I'll be reading everything later.

Edited April 23, 2017 by Laxen
Words and thanking a guy

[Goodguy05]

She said we were soulmates and her mother was so happy she met a guy who treat her well. I'm very sad, I was crying the first two days and when I met her and her mom I cried. I try not to think about it, but I've been through this another time when I was 17 with a girl I was together for with 5 months. But she was seeing like 4 different boys. So I felt this before kind off. I just wish she would have stayed since I stayed for her! I don't know what to do right now. I don't have ANY strength to finish all the stuff I have to do. Every single day since our breakup I've been doing stuff with friends et cetera. It feels good, but I kinda miss her body, smell, breath and well everything. It feels like I'll never ever get that again!

 

EDIT: Thanks for your kind words and I'll be reading your posts tomorrow. I have to go to bed now but I'll be reading everything later.

 

Not a problem dude I can relate. Especially the cheating. For instance toady at work the ex and her new bf are away from work both have the day off. Just trust in that they don't care about us anymore how do i know? Look at there actions she's basically telling you ye tough I've got another guy. I'm sure if the situation was reversed me and you would not treat them like disposable garbage the way they have us.

 

If I was you and this comes from yrs of experience im in my 40s now nothing you say or do is gonna mean ****. Someone SaI'd it to me unlucky in love man those words keep ringing in my ears. It must be the woman we attract. Not all are like that but somehow I tend to attract these crazy psychotic woman.

[Laxen]

Not a problem dude I can relate. Especially the cheating. For instance toady at work the ex and her new bf are away from work both have the day off. Just trust in that they don't care about us anymore how do i know? Look at there actions she's basically telling you ye tough I've got another guy. I'm sure if the situation was reversed me and you would not treat them like disposable garbage the way they have us.

 

If I was you and this comes from yrs of experience im in my 40s now nothing you say or do is gonna mean ****. Someone SaI'd it to me unlucky in love man those words keep ringing in my ears. It must be the woman we attract. Not all are like that but somehow I tend to attract these crazy psychotic woman.

 

Well, this is kinda accurate. I'm thinking of removing the block on her Facebook in 2-3 weeks just to have a chat with her. I know it will hurt a lot but at the same time I feel like I just want to see how she is. The thing is, I don't want to go back together as a lot of other guys here want. I do not want to go into a relationship with her again since I will NEVER trust her again. More of like a friendly farewell where I'm not crying. I never begged or anything when we met after we broke up. It was more like "ye, this is really sad" since she already had made up her mind about it, I just wanted closure which I didn't get!

 

Sometimes I feel so much and sometimes I don't feel anything. With everything happening in the end of university now I kinda hate her at the moment. Since it's so much stuff I have to do and no energy I kinda blame her in a way, even though I know she left me because of that guy. You can't really help who you fall in love with after all...

[Goodguy05]

Well, this is kinda accurate. I'm thinking of removing the block on her Facebook in 2-3 weeks just to have a chat with her. I know it will hurt a lot but at the same time I feel like I just want to see how she is. The thing is, I don't want to go back together as a lot of other guys here want. I do not want to go into a relationship with her again since I will NEVER trust her again. More of like a friendly farewell where I'm not crying. I never begged or anything when we met after we broke up. It was more like "ye, this is really sad" since she already had made up her mind about it, I just wanted closure which I didn't get!

 

Sometimes I feel so much and sometimes I don't feel anything. With everything happening in the end of university now I kinda hate her at the moment. Since it's so much stuff I have to do and no energy I kinda blame her in a way, even though I know she left me because of that guy. You can't really help who you fall in love with after all...

 

If you feel that'll help go for it dude trust me tho in all my yrs of relationship breakups one marriage which was 10 yrs all that chasing or not chasing in the end meant nothing.it really didn't . one woman I got no closure wat so ever that was along time ago i was young 25 she was 34 I've had all sorts. I was confused for a many moons. Eventually as u get older it becomes evident what the issue was. She was a lot older than me and desperate to have a child

 

That's what it was in the end even tho she never said anything at the time I figured it out later in life. Don't ever blame yourself own your mistakes sure but realise sometimes them ending it and leaving has nothing to do with you it could be they met someone else which is what it appears to be in this instance and they just want that high intensity u get at the beginning. Or it cld be suddenly they just want to be on there own and you were the perfect partner. Love can really suck. That broken heart heals and yet again we yearn for that closeness and risk our heart one more time. I should know the last was my 5th lol it never gets easier dealing wth the pain but you just deal with it in a better more effective way meaning you learn that chasing yields zero results and yrs later you cringe how u went about things but you live and learn.

 

My ex wife claims I never chased hard enough lol. I did what she fails to understand is that I get now is at the time that I did chase her going hot n cold and playing games only pushed me away and forced me to protect my heart. U see how that works. They fail to see there part in it and it's all ur fault wen its not. And they can really make you believe that don't buy into that garbage because all that is is a ploy to sabotage ur happiness later down the track. Woman love to plant that seed of doubt in ur mind about u and watch it fester and grow. Dude don't buy into there bs about what u did wrong. As I said sure own ur part but try and remember sometimes it's not even about u remember that. Peace out.

Edited April 24, 2017 by Goodguy05

[Laxen]

Okey, a little update here.

 

I was dumb enough to log into her email and I see that she booked a trip with this guy she fell in love with... to Thailand with HIS family. Ugh, I'm just dissapointed and this point, not even mad or sad.

 

We havn't spoken really since we broke up. The thing is she owes me money, around 330 euro for the bed I bought a couple of days before she actually broke up with me. Is it ok to call her and just politely ask her for the money? Ofc I won't be telling her about that I actually logged in on her email. Just being respectful, because after that I can block her number

 

Tough life!

Edited April 28, 2017 by Laxen